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Apparently I misunderstand Sgirls.

onebright1's picture

I was told by SO, while we were wrapping $1000.00+ worth of gifts this morning,(his holiday week started today at 5pm) That I just misunderstand Sgirls actions and words towards me :? Yes, thats what he said. When he asked me if I would open the restaurant for him today because he had a funeral appearance to make. I said I would rather not because thats where SGirls were coming to start thier parenting time at 5 and I didnt think it was a good idea to force them and me there together without him there.
That is when he said it. I said,"they hate me". He says they are just being kids. I said "no Im pretty sure the whole neighborhood heard SD13 screaming and crying in the front yard a few months ago how much she hates me and this is her home and I need to go" He says, "that was a while back and you need to forgive it" I say, " um after that they called cps, lied to cps about drugs and alcohol, stole my underwear, and audio recorded us and sent it to thier mom and took pictures and sent them to thier mom and lots more." He says they stopped. ! uh, when? and he says I should give them another chance. I say" yes and you should give BM another chance because she doesnt cheat on you anymore, and she doesnt steal your things and sell them anymore" He says "well I have gotten over all that but I dont want to hang out with her or anything" I said "BINGO!!! neither do I"
So I say that yes I will open restaurant if he will be there when they get there at 5.
He said he would. Did he? No, they got there and sat in their car and wouldnt get out and I needed someone in there because I had a delivery to run. SD18 is supposed to run the deliveries on SUndays and she gets paid for it but she uses SOs vehicle because BM wont let her use her own vehicle because it is in BMs name. Since SO wasnt there I had to run the delivery and SGirls wouldnt get out of their vehicle. I also had a pick up on the way and needed someone in the shop to deal with the pick up customer. Finally after 20 min I went out with my delivery and went up to SD18s car and said "you need to go in, I have to run a delivery." They got out and went in and NOT ONE of the 5 said a word to me.
I texted SO to let him know earlier they wouldnt come in and called but got no answer.
I took the delivery and he finally answered he was at the shop and the sgirls were inside. I texted back"Duh, thats because I had to go out and make them come in".
So when I got back to the shop, I said to him, "I get what you mean by I misunderstand them" He is like "you do?" I said "yes, I need to start treating them like the social retards they are". He actually laughed, but I meant it. They have no social skills, common sense or morals. They are thieves, liars, maniuplators and just plain evil. But since I misunderstand them and they are just being kids, then I guess my kids are the abnormal ones, because they would NEVER be unkind to HIM, steal from HIM , ignore HIM. I did say to him that apparently I need to redifine normal.
ok, vent over, for now Wink

Comments

onebright1's picture

WTiH, I will say no next time, and I will tell him why, and he will tell guilt me out so bad that I will just do it.
I understand I am the problem here. But I dont know how to be anyone other than me.
And I think he knows this and uses it to his and his kids advantage. Because I always have that doubt that maybe I AM misunderstanding a situation or conversation.

ad's picture

Oh boy....
I feel for you.
Too much drama w/ those sons & daughters of a motherless goat.

Hang in there.

onebright1's picture

Hey Whimsey, Is that it? Is it glasses? or is he really that gullible that he really thinks, believes they are normal kids? Or am I being the gullible one and he is like "Ha! got her to do it again"

onebright1's picture

I totally get it Sue and SA, I know how I am, I am a sap, I am a sucker, problem is he knows this too. He knows I cant STAND undone things. Things not done correctly. He knows I am the reliable one. He knows I am the loyal one. He knows I am gonna be me. I cant be anything else.
The other problem is I start thinking, maybe he is right, maybe I am the crazy one here. Maybe it is all how I see things and not them at all. Maybe I am too picky. Maybe they are normal kids. And I am the problem.

misSTEP's picture

I'm sure you realize that you are not crazy or too picky and they are far from normal.

But don't let being a sap or sucker allow you to back off of your boundaries. Because if you keep changing where your boundaries are, that gives others the freedom to run right over them and act like they never knew they were there.

onebright1's picture

I have the same boundries all the time, I just dont enforce them. And I dont know why I dont. Apparently I need more counseling than what Steptalk can give me. But I do plan to get in a better situation soon. So maybe that will help, but I fear it will just be running away instead of setting the boundries in stone and giving SO the ball in his court to choose to respect my boundries or lose me.