I have been in a relationship for three year with my fiance, we have lived together for a year and half. He has custody of his three boys and I have my two girls. My oldest son is 20 and lives on his own.

My soon to be step children's mother left them when they were in diapers and their father has been raising them since alone. Now that I am in the picture she comes around more often. She lives two hours away.

My ex husband is remarried and we all get along, my kids live with me but I am not threatened by his new wife at all. I am happy that she is good to my kids when they are there visiting.

Ok.... now my issues..... Over the last three years, the bio mom has tried to stir up problems between my fiance and I. It seems about once every 6 months or so we have some big blow up with her. I just found out that she has been making her boys feel guilty for being happy with their dad and I. She sends them text messages telling them that she is heartbroken and locks herself in her closet crying because she cant believe they do things with us.

She is like a roller coaster, before I was around she never knew what was going on in their life..... me being a mother I try to include her in what is happening. I send her their football and baseball schedules, let her know when they have certain things going on. Try to get her to be included in their school clothes shopping times, school trips they take...... I go out of my way to encourage the boys to go down and see her, let her know when we are in the area so just in case they want to stay over. At times, she tells me have grateful she is to have me because she gets included and then on the other hand I get called a shank and a bitch and get told I cant have her boys that they are hers and I need to back off.

What am I doing wrong???? Ive seen first hand the messages that she has sent the boys and its heart breaking. She makes me out to be some horrible person, and makes them feel guilty for wanting to be around me and my girls.

She is the one that left them and she is the one they doesn't support them financially at all. Over the last three years I have been their for them physically, emotionally, and financially.

She use to walk into their house like she still lived there, they have been divorced for 8 years. So when I moved in, I asked her to please knock before entering out of respect. One year she just showed up for Thanksgiving and sat in our living room while we ate dinner because she was to early to go to her new husbands family's house so they were going to hang out at ours.

I am at the point of snapping, but I don't want to hurt the kids. I don't think I can put up with much more from her before her and I have a knock out. She was creeping all over my Facebook page and would text the boys anytime I posted photos of us doing things as a family and now the boys are at a point they will not take photos or want me to post anything.... so I blocked her from my Facebook.

I just need to know if I am over stepping my boundaries by loving those boys and treating them like my kids. I don't have them call me mom, I always make sure they send her mothers day cards. I acknowledge her as their mother.... what else does she want from me?????