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Advice for testifying in family court?

OhMeOhMy's picture

Submitted by OhMeOhMy on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:02pm

:O

Im not asking for advice on how to lie or 'get one over' on the court, I just dont know what to expect lol

I will be testifying next month against my skids bm, its the final court hearing for a modification of custody. As far as our attorney goes, He wants me to speak on the information I know about the abuse on the mothers household. I trust him to ask the right questions, I guess Im just asking for any advice in general...

I mean, I know to be honest, to keep calm, listen carefully, not lose my temper when/if the attorney attacks what i say, etc. What was your experience?

Im really nervous :sick:

Comments

sunbeam0901's picture

Submitted by sunbeam0901 on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:37pm

I'm sorry, I don't have any experiences to share but I am eager to see what wisdom others can offer in this situation. DH & BM are just getting started on a custody modification and I am nervous that I may have to do the same as you. Good luck & let us know how it goes!

Doesnteatcrow's picture

Submitted by Doesnteatcrow on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 12:40am

Good Luck, I would suggest getting your doctor to get you an rx for some sort of anti- anxiety med to keep from loosing your cool.

BlueButterflies's picture

Submitted by BlueButterflies on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 5:06am

Do you know if you then get to be "Cross examined" so to speak by BM's attorney?

While I'm not familar with testifying in this capacity, I do know about testifying in criminal proceedings.

I don't know if this same advice would pertain or not:
Eventhough the Attorney is asking the questions, its advised you direct your answers towards the person(s) making the decision of the case, so this would be the Judge.

Speak loudly enough so all can hear you and do not be afraid to ask for clarification on a question that is being asked.

If you are cross examined by opposing counsel, after each question they ask, pause a moment. This will not only help you formulate your answer but also give your attorney an opportunity to object to something regarding the question asked if they need to.

When questioned by opposing counsel, also be sure to be certain of your answers so that opposing counsel does not attempt to twist your statement or put words in your mouth. If they ask a "yes" or "no" question, pay attention to every portion of their question and the words they may use OR OMIT from the question before you answer a simple "yes" or "no".

Don;t be afraid to ask either attorney to repeat, clarify or rephrase their question if you do not understand.

Not sure if this will help you or not, but it is all I can think of.

OhMeOhMy's picture

Submitted by OhMeOhMy on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 11:59am

Thats a good point about the clothes. Every court date, i have wore a button up dress shirt and skirt, business/business casual, and my husband has wore dress pants, button up shirt and tie. the only time her husband came to court so far, he was wearing khaki shorts!

OhMeOhMy's picture

Submitted by OhMeOhMy on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 11:50am

Thanks for all the comments and advice. I really appreciate it!

I am sure her attorney will want to cross examine me... I will be speaking about the abuse the children have spoken to me about, involving them and abuse toward their mother. Its just She is so big on throwing out "objection! thats hearsay" and Im pretty worried about how to counter that... I mean, Im not in the house with them when the abuse has been happening obviously. So I guess it "can" be only hearsay, I just hope the judge uses his brain during the hearing. Someone told me since the GAL report mentions the abuse for some situations Ill speak about, that its nolonger hearsay.

I dunno, Ive just never had to do something like this before. I know i will become emotional,because its such a sensitive subject for us, and i am just sensitive in general lol...

I just dont want to disappoint my husband or the kids, or let them down by not doing everything I can or messing it up. its a lot of pressure.

Luckily because of my job (Im a flight attendant) I am used to looking professional and coming across well put together, plus I have a lot of patience and remain calm under pressure. Usually. this is a totally different situation! its very personal.

Thanks again, it helps just being able to reach out for help Smile