I stumbled across this site a month or two ago when I was desperately looking for advice on how to go about handling my fiancé's two daughters and his ex-wife. I suddenly found myself in a step-parent role, and I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing. Not only that, but somebody must have dropped a house on BM's sister at some point because she is a REAL treat...

I have been with my fiancé for a year now, and we have a great relationship, I love him to death. He has two girls, 12 and 14 yrs old, and has been divorced from their mother for about ten years now. I initially had very little contact with the girls, but when spring came around and my FDH is the coach on both of their sports teams, that changed. We all actually get along, thank god... Unfortunately being around the girls more often directly translates to crossing paths with their mother as well. There is no getting along with her. She hasn't said one word to me; we have never even made eye contact, partly because Im afraid Ill turn into a pillar salt if I do.

Eventually I got to know some of the parents of the girls on the team and felt comfortable enough to go watch the games as long as I had somebody to talk to. As I kept attending the games, I realized that BM would sit as close as possible to where FDH is coaching. I want to sit near him, but BM takes over that spot every time. This started really pissing me off. I brought this up to FDH and he said she was sitting there to be close by the kids. I called bullshit, she would be just as close or closer to the kids if she sat on the other side of the dugout, AND the view on that side is FAR better and alot closer to all the players on the field. She is just sitting there because he's there. She also parks right next to his car whenever possible. If both kids have practice, she'll drop off, but stay for the practice FDH will be coaching. FDH goes and has a cigarette, BM somehow has to have one too. I think my favorite is FDH asked me to bring my camera and take pictures of the girls playing. So I did, I brought my camera and took pictures. BM saw this and complains to FDH "Why didn't you tell me to bring my camera??"

This past weekend, there were away games located farther away than any of the other locations. A large number of parents get a hotel room for a few days so they don't need to get up at 5 am to make it to a 8am game. BM and the girls had gotten a room and were already out there for the games the next day. FDH and I were just going to get up at the ass crack of dawn and drive out there. While FDH was on the phone coordinating with BM regarding the game schedules, she asked if I was going with him. He said I don't know, why does it matter? To which she replied she was just asking. Later on that night, she sends him a text inviting him to stay in their hotel room with them if he likes.

So she crossed the line with me here: I already dislike her, but now I have zero respect for her. Im done tip toeing around her.

The only thing that is bothering me is DFH told me its over, no big deal, it shouldn't bother me. Fine. However, if a man who is a permanent fixture in my life, and was fully aware that I am engaged, invited me to stay in a hotel room with him, for some reason I don't think he'd just blow it off as nothing.