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Things are still looking up, but I have a question.

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Sun, 12/03/2006 - 8:46am

BM has been suprisingly easy to get along with the past couple of weeks. I think that she has realized that instead of complaining and griping about things all the time, it's more constructive to address them in an adult manner. We've discussed Christmas presents for SS and for each other through SS, and she even brought up SS getting ME something for Christmas! I was shocked! I really hope that this attitude has bled over into her home life and that things are easier on SS too now that she has decided to be more cooperative and less psycho. That being said, I have a question for you all about overnight visitation.

BF maintains that there is no clause in the divorce that stipulates no overnight visitors during visitation. However, BM insists that there is. She says "SS has to have his own room, no overnight guests, and no non-relatives residing with him". BF says she's full of it...I will have to find their divorce paperwork and read through it myself to get the real answer. Though I was thinking...usually when I hear of "no overnight guests" being in the divorce, it's only for a period of like six months or so. BF and BM have been divorced for over six months. Anyway, like I said I'll have to read it for myself and find out. BF does not have overnight visitation with SS yet because he hasn't claimed my address (or any address for that matter) as his residence yet (he moved in after the divorce and hasn't gone to change the paperwork yet). When he does claim a residence, he will be able to have overnights. So here's my question: IF it is stipulated that there are to be no overnight visitors for whatever length of time, what do we do? Do I find somewhere else to stay during visitation and let myself be run out of my own home? Do I stay put and suggest he find somewhere else to stay for those nights? Or do we just put off overnights until he IS allowed to have me stay the night?

Comments

OldTimer's picture

Submitted by OldTimer on Mon, 12/04/2006 - 3:02am

But, then again, you need to read the decree and see what's really up.

If, in fact, it does state that 'no overnight visitors are allowed' and there is a 'waiting period'. Then wait the duration of the time.

I don't think it's right that you have to be chased from your own home. But, if you are serious with your relationship and are moving towards a more solid commented relationship, then perhaps it's time to go back to mediation and get some things changed on the basis that he's circumstances has changed and he now has a home... yours- together.

So, how long have you been dating is the next question?

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Mon, 12/04/2006 - 7:24am

We've been together almost three years.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

OldTimer's picture

Submitted by OldTimer on Tue, 12/05/2006 - 3:59am

Then I think that any "time frame" would be null and voided by now.

I think it's time that you should see an attorney and maybe see if you can get some things corrected or changed. I know that you don't HAVE to go to court, but can have things written and signed by both parties for it to be valid. If she is willing, but I'm sure she's probably not, try to see if you can first work things out with her... on paper of course. Otherwise, maybe it's time to go back to an attorney for mediation. I think 3 years is long enough to establish that you have a commited relationship, and BF should go ahead and change his address. ;0)

I would of course, make sure that you do both, change address, and change schedule so that way, if she makes a big stink about it, it's all in the works so you can just ignore it. I think it's just ridculious that you would have to seperate during visitation.

Keep us informed.