SD26 Makes Herself Center of Attention DS’s HS Graduation
Last I posted I was desperately hoping SD30 and SD26 would not even realize it was DS18's graduation. But they did - they follow him on social media and have some contact with him. My fear was that they would use the occasion to make it all about themselves, because that's what they do. When I heard from DUH that the oldest one had asked I told him ultimately it was up to DS and he wanted them to come, but to make sure she STAYED IN HER LANE. This was my moment, not hers. Then the younger one asked him and I said the same thing - make sure she understands to STAY IN HER LANE.
Graduation arrives, we get there early to save seats - large indoor arena with huge capacity so no limits on how many we can invite. We saved enough seats for everyone who said either yes or maybe. Turned out SD30 couldn't attend because she had to work. DUH texted Sd26 to tell her where we were sitting with aunts and cousins from both sides plus grandpa. She texts back that she'll be sitting by herself. Cue all the questions about where she is and why she's sitting by herself. And I'm wondering why she's shunning us - totally mystified
Ceremony starts, it's lovely - first time I've ever truly enjoyed a graduation ceremony. Then the caps fly and the graduates recessional takes place, we find our kid and go out the door in a group to take photos.
SD26 appears and goes around the group, hugging everyone. Gets to me, I hold my arms out, she tells me no thank you and that she's not comfortable having me touch her. Everyone sees this take place. I have no idea why she's pulling this and feel completely ambushed
So now instead of being able to just enjoy the moment, I'm wondering what the f$ck is up with her. She didn't say anything beforehand, waited until my celebration with my graduate time.
Nailed it. Thank you very not for choosing my time to celebrate with my son a time to make your scene. If I'd known she was going to choose this occasion to pull this stunt, I would have insisted she not attend. I have no doubt that this was very calculated.
Let this be a warning - even as adults - if they can find a way to behave horribly, they will.
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Comments
I'm guessing your DH passed
I'm guessing your DH passed on your message to her to "stay in her lane". So, she stayed in her lane.. and didn't interract with you. Obviously you have had enough history with them that you probably could have skipped the "hug for show".. and it wouldn't have been an issue. But, it's actually kind of a challenge when someone tells you to stay in your lane.. so I'm not totally surprised she acted that way.
for future events.. you need to just be civil but detached.. no need to play nice fake.
He’s a wimp
He didn't say diddly squat. I've confirmed that with him.
Idk, how would she have known
Idk, how would she have known she was supposed to stay in her lane? In keeping with the car references, are you sure your DH didn't throw you under the bus?
Also, i agree that her behavior was bad. As far as the hug being fake, where i live, that's the standard greeting, for everyone, in a family or friends setting. If you want to avoid greeting someone, you don't get close enough for them to greet you, if the group is saying their hellos via hug. At my kid's graduation, i headed off the hug from my ex by saying a polite hello then turning the other way. If i had such strong feelings i couldn't manage that, i would not go talk to his group.
Your SD did the little kid "Ask me what's wrong!" dance by sitting apart from everyone yet still coming to talk to everyone else and making a big deal about not greeting you. Someone told her something about your feelings or desires for the day, and made you the "bad guy."
would a wimp admit he told
would a wimp admit he told her.. lol?
It just sounds like she thought she had reason to be miffed.. and by you telling yoru SO to have them stay in their lane.. it sounds like the message was delivered.
Im sorry youve had to deal with this snot for so long
Thats a horrible way to be.
Doing the pick me dance on your kids big day (your big day too).
But Im not sure how he was supposed to make her stay in her lane...that was left open to interpretation and Im gathering it did not go well...from her actions.
But hey - your kid graduated - you should bask in that, for as long as you can.
I have no doubt that DUH said something to her, it is the only
I have no doubt that DUH said something to her, it is the only thing that makes sense. She took him at his word and completely avoided you. Since he is not too bright, he probably told her to leave you alone, which is what she did. Sorry it happened, but try and let it go and just keep the good memory of your son's graduation. In the future, don't say anything about her prior to an event. Just be civil and polite and detached when you see her.
Regardless of what went
Regardless of what went before, I'd have backed off saying "sorry, I forgot you aren't a people person."
She isn't worth the trouble.
SD26 appears and goes around
she would never be invited to any future events if this were my sd
Thats horribly rude and tacky and immature
If she doesn't want to be touched/hugged she could have said that upfront before attending instead of causing a scene during the event
And let me just say aholes will totally wait till a major event to pull classless shenanigans (ex having zero respect for your boundaries while hypocritically expecting you to respect theirs) and stunts so move accordingly
Last Event
No more invites and if she calls to "invite" herself, remind your DUH of this instance and say NO!
What a biotch....her father should be humiliated by her behavior.
Leopards and spots, ntm. You
Leopards and spots, ntm. You let your guard slip and got slapped for it. Time to add a few more layers to that tall brick wall, and some razor wire, too.
Still, congratulations on your son's graduation! How exciting!! I bet there's great things in store for him.
Though a toxic POS, she
Though a toxic POS, she played that masterfully. She set it up with the sitting separately to build the focus on her and get everyone primed... then whe she rejected your hug publically in front of everyone she drove home the final nail in making the whole thing about her.
In hind sight, you should have thanked her publically for not infesting the ceremony by sitting with the people you and DS wanted there and then thanked her for not skeeving you out by touching you with her putrid flesh.
BAM!
Shredding these types in the most publically humilating fashion possible is to win. And winning is critical with these types. Winning in as overt and brutal way possible.
Get your script ready for future interfaces so you can immediately smack her in the face with brutal exposure of her toxic bullshit. Metaphorically of course.
Daddy may be a ball-less coward. There is no need for you to be that way. Own her idiot toxic ass.
Have fun!