Advise/Experience on Discipline
I would love to hear your thoughts on discipline. Please understand, that my situation might be much different than yours - BM is not in the picture. SS(33) and SGD(5) have lived with my husband and I for about a year. We watch the daughter while SS is at work at night. I'm throwing this out there because I've seen interesting posts regarding "step-discipline" from both sides.
My husband travels a lot, so I am usually at home alone with SGD(5). No one has a problem with me disciplining her. In the past year, I've had to smack her butt 2 or 3 times. I've never hurt her, but time-out just wasn't cutting it! But I'm also talking about normal discipline too (aside from spanking). She usually behaves at dinner, but if she doesn't, then she can go to bed. If she keeps kicking under the table, she can stand to eat. If she doesn't put her toys away, they get taken away from her for a few days. If she lies, then no TV. Etc. These are rules that my husband and I BOTH follow through with regardless of SS being home or not. And they've helped - SGD has come to learn what rules are and she's starting to follow them! 
So, SMs....is it a problem for you to discipline your skids? I've read some SM posts and a lot of them say that they can't reprimand or discipline the skids. I don't know their whole situation though - it could be MUCH different than mine. My husband and I BOTH feel that it's our house, our rules and since SS(33) can't make it on his own, and came to US for help, live with it or leave. In some of the other cases, it's the DH saying that the SM can't do anything and in some of them it's the BM telling the SM that she doesn't have the right. So, I'm just curious as to your thoughts and to hear your stories.
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Comments
When i first enter into a
When i first enter into a relationship with ss at age 18 months it was also DH first. (because bm didn't tell DH about ss, the grandmother called DH and asked him to do DNA). We only had ss EOW so we pretty much catered to him. SS is a only child for DH and I have two ground daughters. All that changed when we got ss full time. Little did we know how ss really acted. It was like starting discipline all over from the being. DH had the guilty dad syndrome. So for the first few years we faught over discipline eating habit, ect. Its been 5 years now and I have became the discipline inforcer. I don't care if ss ends up hateing or not. DH is just a push over and ss would ride over DH if I let him. SS minds me very well and I've only spanked him once. So if their full time I think you should discipline them like your own. If the EOW your probably wasteing your time. Also depends on how much influnence BM has. Ours is in prison.
I was seeing if anyone else
I was seeing if anyone else has been in a similar situation. I was looking for advise on whether or not we were doing the right thing enforcing the 'our house, our rules' theory because eventually, my SS(33) is going to move out of our house and take his daughter with him. Should we be the 'enforcers' or should my SS be the only one to dish out the discipline? I was looking for people's advice and specifically stories of similar experiences.