Normaly we have a great family unit, I get along great with his kids, he gets along great with my son, Mainly because we parent as a team, weve never had an issue with overstepping bounds, and the kids are usually so well behaved theres rarely a need for major discipline,

Anyway, I have also come to the realization that things are great only when they are ,,well,.,.great, But when they rocky and its time for DH to parent he gets the deer in the headlight look and says Oh well since i cant see it , then it must not exist

Case in point:
12 yr old is packing for a weekend trip with a friend from school and her family, Coincidence I happen to tell her I want to go through her clothes and get a visual of what she has so i can decide what she still needs for new school clothes ( if we dont buy clothes they never get new school clothes at thier moms) so I am going through an underwear pile on her bed and notice something black and silky,

In that pile is a slinky , extremely sexy bathing suit that is held together at the hips by a gold circle and the top is padded to make your boobs look bigger,,,i asked here were she got it from and she gave me that " its none of your business" look so i asked again and then took this bathing suit to her dad and said sooooooo do you think this is appropriate for your 12 yr old daughter to wear at a popular beach resort and hes just says umm i dont know and eventually agreed it was not ok because i was not happy about it(he makes me feel like i am over reacting)
We found out her mother bought it for her,,,wtf???? i mean this bathing suit is so sexy and has hardly any material there, And i should add that my SD is slightly heavy, shes 12 and about 170lbs and 5'3 and he mom cant even buy her kids regular clothes let a lone a sexy bikini,

Lately she has been "acting out" i make her wear a cami or a tank top under her clothes because she is a tiny bit developed and she likes to wear clothing that is very very tight or low cut and loose and she will deliberatly bend over and squeeze her shoulder together to enhance cleavage and she always does things that look wierd, she will lean in to talk to her dad or my son and lean herself over so you can see cleavage and lately she has been wearing clothing that you can see through or shows her belly, Not acceptable in my house. We came up witth the rule that if the school sys its not acceptable thenits not acceptable here and at the time the rule was made everyone thought it was a good idea, that way everyone knew expectations,

I tried to talk to hubby about it and he just says he doesnt see it and I am over-reacting, My son has even asked her to knock it off, it makes him feel uncomfortable and her own brother has said she does it at her moms to. Then he says,,,,well you ever say anything about the way your son dresses. Really?? My son is 14 and wears cargo shorts that dont go past his butt with t-shirts and sneakers, i cant imagine how thats inappropriate,

So we are going school shopping tomorrow and he asked if we were getting her anything and i said well I am not because i refuse to shop at victoria secrects

I dont know why he is so passive about all this, He refuses to check her cell phone which she hides in her room and will text from the time she gets up till she goes to bed, and only comes out for dinner, the sad thing is though if his mom or stepmom say something to him then all of a suddenhe will see it,,but for now im exaggerating or over-reacting,