She is clearly not over DH, which is understandable. He's a wonderful man, that's why I married him. But SD7 told me last night at dinner that her BM told her to lie and tell people that me and DH aren't married.

WTF? Why would she do that? I'll tell you why- I had to explain to SD7 what "ashamed" means. BM is ashamed that she f***ed up her marriage to DH and doesn't want to acknowledge that someone else has stepped up to the plate. I told SD7 not to worry, and that she's not in trouble because she was just listening to her mom.

But we're going to do family counseling and hopefully it works. BM is just so damn in the way of our happiness. SD7 knows damn well that we're married and still lied because BM said so. I know that she wouldn't do that for me but i've learned after two years of marriage that BM always wins when it comes to loyalty.

She said she also explained to SD7 that i'm not her "REAL" mom, and therefore I shouldn't be called mom at all- ever. Even though i'm more of a mom to her than BM, I really have my reservations about this child calling me by my first name. I was raised in the old school, and I really find it disrespectful and only further tearing our family apart and making me feel like an outsider.