O/T. Do you discuss taking trips with your SO/DH prior to committing???
Like a trip out of the country?? To me that would be something that would require a discussion with SO before I committed to anything. This has caused a huge fight between SO and I.
He came home last night from a dinner that was auctioning off hunting trips. He committed himself to a trip out of the country with out even a thought to discuss it with me.
I'm just wondering if I am totally crazy for being upset that he did that. Let alone the fact that this morning I find out it has to be done before the end of this year. Or that he has SD during the week and she is with her mom on weekends and it's a 7 day trip. No consideration for anything or anyone just came home and expected me to be jumping for joy over this.
My thought is that something like that needs to be discussed between two people in a relationship prior to making a commitment. He changed his story and said he wasn't committed but he signed something but doesn't know what it was. Plus he was drunk when he got home and not able to discuss it clearly which made me even madder.
He says he did nothing wrong and admitted he didn't even give me a thought when deciding to go on this trip. I said he needs to be single if that is the way he chooses to do things. Ugggggg I am so mad and upset I can't even see straight. He is acting like a total ass saying I'm the one causing problems because I'm mad at him.
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Your DH needs to own what he
Your DH needs to own what he did. Sounds like he went off with his buddies to a dinner/auction , got drunk, caught up in the moment and any thought of you, home or his SD went right out the window. Silly man.
The time to discuss what DH might be interested in jumping into in the terms of purchasing at an event like this is before he attends it. No, most wives wouldn't be too pleased to learn their drunken husband bought a trip to go off on his own (at who knows what cost) and oops, forget to think about his wife and other responsibilities. He needs to stop trying to make you the 'bad guy' here and own his selfish stupid stunt.
If he's actually going he has to 1) line up what his daughter will be doing and/or at during his absence as you're not babysitting 2) be sure he can afford the trip without using money form a joint account or shorting his usual expenses of the household 3) come up with a sincere apology and explanation as to why he's a selfish dunderhead or 4) sell the trip package he purchased to someone else.
It isn't the fact it's out of country that would have him in deep doo at my house, it's the non-discussion before hand that he was thinking of jumping into such an auction as this one without consulting his wife.
Thanks everyone!! He already
Thanks everyone!! He already knew I wasn't watching SD he just assumed her BM would which is a whole other issue. I shut that down real quick that he better find alternate arrangements for her.
It is pretty expensive trip but we can afford it and I will be treating myself to a few luxuries as well
He did apologize this morning and said it was the moment and it was a great deal and he just jumped at the chance. Which I get but as I told him a freaking text msg or something ahead of time would have been nice!!!!
Especially since we had no discussion about this being even a possibility that he would purchase something like this. It leaves me with bad memories of my first husband who did stuff like this all the time!!!!!! I'm still upset and hurt but the fact he acknowledged his mess up helped a little.
To be honest, not discussing
To be honest, not discussing decisions or events with me that will affect me nearly cost H our marriage.
It's rude, disrespectful and thoughtless.
Does this mean you get to do the same, and go off on girl trips and whatnot without discussing it with him? Or would have shit little green biscuits if the tables were turned on him?