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Need some opinions please

Newstep's picture

Submitted by Newstep on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 8:34pm

So what do younall think?? SD13 got a new 150.00 phone for her bday in January. I was leery of it because she is careless worthier stuff. Three cell phones lost, two cracked DS screens and two stolen iPods in the last two and a half years. Enough is enough right??

Well Easter Sunday she was with her BM we had some friends over and enjoyed a really beautiful day outdoors. Both of our cell phones were in the house for a while. I came in and brought mine outside just in case someone needed to get a hold of us. Reason I grabbed mine is because it was right on the counter. No calls whatsoever it was a great time. We come in to clean up and SObchecks his phone. There are 17 missed calls and eight text msgs and three voicemails. All from BM's number and all telling him that SD dropped her phone in the toilet and needs a new phone :jawdrop: Not a single call to my phone and they both have the number. Total BS in my opinion they blow up his phone for a stupid reason and the messages and voice mails are all this pleading and begging for him to call back. Which he didnt call back he had a few drinks with friends and didnt feel like dealing with it last night Now she has been texting him all day (fromBM's phone) about when she is getting her new phone. He just left to pick he up and casually says I guess we,will go get her a new phone tomorrow right???

I'm sorry but she is not responsible enough for a phone this will be phone number four in less that three years and she only had it for a little over two months!!!! Am I being a mean SM or just being a parent?? I would have never ever in a million years bought my bio's a second or third anything if there own negligence caused it to break in the first place.

Comments

LilyBelle's picture

Submitted by LilyBelle on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 8:57pm

Lot's of teens are irresponsible with their things, and don't appreciate their value. You are perfectly within reason to not replace the phone.

Does she live in your household? I would think it's the custodial parent's decision to decide if she needs a phone..... I am the custodial parent for my kids, and they both have phones. I want both my kids to have phones for safety.... so, I have saved old phones that still work and were upgraded..... so if they are irresponsible with their phones, they will have a phone that functions, but it will be an old, basic phone, not a new one. Of course, no one questions me on this because I am the custodial parent, and I wouldn't allow them to ask anyone to buy them a new phone under those circumstances. Obviously, you have someone who would call your motives into question. That sucks.

I think this is definitely worth a conversation with your DH. Replacing this phone is quite a chunk out of most budgets.... you can probably find an old phone for your carrier for sale for a lot less. Or maybe a friend has an old phone you could have.... if your DH feels it is a safety issue that she have a phone. Or, she could be given a pre-paid, very cheap basic phone for emergencies, until she saved enough to buy her replacement phone.

Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 9:04pm

I wouldn't replace it let BM do it if she needs a phone so bad. My 10 yr old got his 1st cell a hand me down from his sister at 8 1/2 it was replaced when buttons stopped responding and the screen started to mess up because it was a 3 year old cheap phone. He's had his most recent phone for almost a year and it's in fine shape. This is a 10 yr old boy who rolls in mud puddles tromps through the woods plays in creaks, and plays at swords with sticks with other kids he's not lost or broke his phones, and if he thinks there is a chance it might rain or he might roll in mud or some other stupid thing 10 yr old boys do he puts his cell in a zip lock baggie because he saw me do it once at the beach. He takes care of it because if he doesn't I won't replace it which limits his ability to go play cause he has to come check in more often and has to walk home or ask to use a phone if he wants to go somewhere other than where he is. She'll take better care of things like this when she has to go without cause she couldn't set her phone in a safe place while she pee'd.

constantly_irritated's picture

Submitted by constantly_irritated on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 9:05pm

Yeah just dig in your garage and give her one of your old phones, or one of your friends will have one.

stepmonster_2011's picture

Submitted by stepmonster_2011 on Mon, 04/09/2012 - 9:15pm

Perhaps SD13 should start baby-sitting. She needs money for a new phone.

No way would I buy her a new one. NO.WAY.

Hell I don't think I would even allow her to get a free one either. I truly believe that kids/people respect things more when they have to EARN it.

stepnicole2010's picture

Submitted by stepnicole2010 on Tue, 04/10/2012 - 8:51am

Absolutely agree - NO.WAY. If she really does need a phone, you can get her the cheapest phone there is - even something on ebay - $20. Also agree she should earn it with extra chores or something. You are not mean AT ALL.

Newstep's picture

Submitted by Newstep on Tue, 04/10/2012 - 10:40pm

I told him the decision was his on what to do about it. It's SO's plan so it doesn't affect me other than the money he will spend on it. Because it will really piss me off. But I am disengaging from this. To me it's complete bullshit that it's even a discussion. It would be an autofreakingmatic HELL NO!!!! But not when your a guilty daddy with no sense at all.

Insurance doesn't cover water damage so that's out. It would have covered theft or loss but it would be 50.00 to get a refurbished replacement phone. So he will probably take her out to get a new phone I'm staying out of it because i will not be able to tolerate going and dealing with her getting a new phone. She is the pickiest freaking child i have ever met and I am sure it would take three hours for her to pick out a new phone. So I am out!!!!