Hi everyone, I'm new to the site, just found it am and relieved its here. I am a 25 yr old female with no kids of my own. I recently moved in with my boyfriend who has an almost 3 yr old little girl. He doesn't have full custody, we get her every other weekend and for a few hours 2 days a week. He also helped raised his ex wifes other daughter who is 5, and isn't biologically his. Sometimes I just don't know how to deal with or act around the 3 yr old. There are days when she loves me and hangs on my every word and actions, and some days she wants nothing to do with me and screams and cries for me to leave her alone.
It's come to the point that when he gets her for a few hours on the weekdays I almost avoid both of them. I grew up with a stepmother and was terrible to her(which i regret now) because I blamed her for stealing my dad away. So I try to give the two of them time for themselves. I've told my boyfriend how I feel and he understands, but also wants me to spend that time with them..
I also cannot stand his ex wife, she uses both the daughters as leverage over him. She has her five year old daughter ask me all sorts of questions that I know a 5 yr old wouldn't normally even think about. It makes me uncomfortable and I dont know how to react or respond. The ex also knows how uncomfortable being around her(the ex) makes me. She makes a point to come into the house and stay for 10 or 15 minutes on end, just talking and making herself at home in my house. I sometimes feel so insecure when she is around, I myself have never been married, never even been close to spending the rest of my life with someone. And the two of them were at that point once, and I hate that..?
Also sometimes I feel like I have absolutely no privacy at all. Sometimes I feel like I just need a few moments to catch my breath and have a little quiet. This is all so new to me, and he has been doing it for 5 years now. I don't think he understands where I am coming from.
Sorry for jumping all over the place, but I guess I just needed to get all that out.. So any advice, words of wisdom, etc will be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.