SD14 is in trouble again
And in BIG trouble with DH and I - but she doesn't know it yet.
SD14 can't seem to stay away from the boys who get her in trouble. I kinda blame BM - she's the one who told SD14 she needed a boyfriend. The first boy just wanted to get in her pants and dumped her when she wouldn't, the second boy she got caught sexting - phone and computer were taken away.
Four months later, she gets the computer back. For two days. She was caught talking on FB to the first boy, who BM forbade her to talk to. So, the computer is gone again.
So she's in trouble with us three ways.
1) For talking to Mr. Trouble - but that's the minor one
2) For not telling DH she's in trouble.
3) For LYING when asked straight out why she hadn't returned any emails - she said she was too busy to get online.
So now what? I'd kinda like to bust her on a 3-way call. (DH is in TX, I'm in NC, and SD14 is in LA) DH has already said that there's NO WAY she's getting her requested Christmas present (an iPod touch) and in that same vein, I'm not feeling like spending nearly $2000 on a summer writing camp I was thinking of sending her to. What's an appropriate Christmas gift for a teenager who keeps making the same mistakes over and over?
In other news, DH got on the phone with BM to work out visitation, (which is when he found out SD14 was in trouble) but then BM wanted to talk about old times... BM told him she was mad at me for something I told SD14 over 3 years ago, and DH told her it was true. (SD thought DH and BM were SO HAPPY together, and I told her the only reason they were married for more than two years was because she was born and DH tried to make it work for SD's sake) They started fighting, and BM ended up in tears and hung up on him. So who knows, if BM wants to be a bitch, we may not even get visitation this year.
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I'm in the same boat. SD14,
I'm in the same boat. SD14, caught sexting & sending photos, only one though and not naked. Txting asking if the bf would have sex with her, though she said it was a wind up between her and her pal. Obviously, banned from seeing bf and now she's banned from seeing most of her pals. They come from a bad part of town, just to top it off. BM is on my side, but to top it all off SD14 is a habitual liar. So. To re-cap. Sex, lies, boys, lies, tantrums. Shes a good kid, but naive. The usual, "He's different", drivel, but you know the score with teen boys. I was one, so I def do! What to do for you? Dunno. You could cancel the writing camp, but what's the alternative? Sitting at home bored? Getting upto no good? My daughters into ponies and horses, we all are, and I was gonna ban her from the stables as punishment, but BM pumped up the lessons and work there! Brilliant ploy! It keeps her busy and occupied and we're seen as the good guys for sending her there so much! (there's no boys at the stables either!). Maybe you should try something similar. Plus, when we banned her seeing her bf and hence friends, we got her everything she'd need to keep herself happy in the house. As an added bonus, me an SD spent so much time together, we've developed a really good relationship. Lyings getting better, but still a struggle. Keep Christmas the same, get her what she wants, but play it up on something she's done well. Positive reenforcement works really well on kids!
aka, bribery!
Bubblehead, like your SD,
Bubblehead, like your SD, mine is a good girl, but super-naive.
BM likes to take away stuff. Admittedly, that's better than not disciplining at all, but doG forbid she try to teach SD14 to handle responsibility and handle herself. Grounding doesn't seem to mean limiting social events though - BM was escorting SD14 to the mall one week after her last episode; while recovering from surgery even! (BM, not SD)
I honestly don't think SD14 is doing anything more than I did at the same age, but I didn't have cell phones or computers, so I had to pull all of my shenanigans face to face. She's just really bad at not getting caught. The boys are bad seeds - she admitted to me that with all the bragging they do, she wouldn't be surprised if they're walking STDs. I have NO idea why she even speaks to them, unless her words to me this summer were just a sham and saying what she thought I wanted to hear.
Summer visitation with us is pretty boring, I think. We're 5 states away and don't have any friends with teenagers, so she doesn't have anybody to hang out with.
I may still offer camp, but tie it to grades. Last year when she went nuts, her grades dropped abruptly from As to Cs. Writing fiction is what she wants to do with her life, and this camp would be an awesome event for her. I know a similar camp I attended was one of the best parts of my teen years.