Ex Files
We were having a lovely time at dinner with my husbands family, three step children in tow. The youngest miss 10 sits on my knee, her older brother mr 16 catches her eye, calls her to him and starts whispering. After that she becomes very cold and distant towards me. He made her promise she wouldn't show me any affection, perhaps out of misplaced loyalty to his Mum....my heart is heavy, I opened my life and my heart to these kids to be treated so badly. Has anyone experienced anything similar?
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That's great advice... SS16
That's great advice... SS16 just lied to his Dad, unfortunately has learnt manipulative behaviour from his Mother. I'll do what you said, I'll let her know that no one else decides the relationship between us, only we do.
That's good advice, sounds
That's good advice, sounds like you've already been there. What's your relationship like with you SKids?
So I'm curious... I'm
So I'm curious... I'm guessing you didn't marry your DH the day before this incident and that you've been around a while between dating and getting married.. yet the impression I get from your post is that this is something new?? Is there more to this story??
There's much more to the
There's much more to the story.... I've been with DH for 4 years, married for 1. Around two years ago we had all three skids coming over every second weekend, his Ex was dating a nice man who was good to the kids. She is extremely bitter, resentful, manipulative lady who has too much time in her hands and makes things up, uses skids as pawn (I met my DH after they divorced)... You get the picture!! The oldest SS, socially awkward believed everything Mum told him. One day, over the computer, SS threw a tantrum, ended up telling SS and SD what we had brought them for Xmas... And was yelling and carrying on etc. that day was the last time he came to spend time with us and stopped all comms with DH, that same week SS 12 came to live with us, he stayed two years!! The oldest SS16 has only just repaired relationship with DH, and has started coming on weekends...all he wants to do Is play computers, I also get the feeling he's spy for mum. I've always had a good relationship with SD10, and she's often affectionate which I embrace... Until now.
I feel like I don't want SS16 to come, and upset the relationships I've worked so hard on...but I know it means the world to DH.... And it's the right thing for the family. Definitely conflicted!!!
I want a happy home where people can be themselves, and I feel like he's preventing that. I also hate anytime if manipulation, which he seems to master.
Great advice, so positive
Great advice, so positive reinforcement!!
Oh girl this is exactly what
Oh girl this is exactly what OSDthen16 did with SSthen14 and YSDthen12. H made the decision to move next town over. H told the kids. OSD flipped. I get home from work, pass the girls bedroom, pop my head in and say hi. OSD looked at me as if I was the devil, SS kept his back to me, YSD looked at me, looked at OSD, looked at me and turned her back on me. Not a damn one of them said a damn word to me. This was after a year of living together, a year pf paying everything equally with their father, just months after precious BM finally got the RO lifted and was able to see her kids unsupervised (she did not see her kids once during the active RO).
It is heart breaking, I know. Talk to Mr 16 and miss 10 separately then together. Ask him why he feels the they cannot be nice to someone that cares about them and their well being, why he feels the need to be disrespectful you and make his little sister turn against you. Ask that little snot what you did to him or his sister to warrant this kind of hate and disrespect.
Thanks...oh wow that sounds
Thanks...oh wow that sounds terrible, I know how you feel, it breaks your heart when you put so much into the relationship, emotional, financial!!! Have things improved for you now?