Conflicted, I want attention but all his kids need it too.
So Mario (my boyfriend) brought me a phone since it was old about 1 yr ago. Couple of days ago on black friday both of us went to Walmart saw some iphones on sale, he rushed to reserve the last one. Great deal btw. The next day he had to work so the night before we talked about it, he sent me to go back to Walmart to activate it. Also he wanted me to go to Verizon and see what deals they had. So I did, I was happy to have come home to a new phone at a great price. I called him to tell him the good news. I couldn't wait till he got home so I could see him unwrap his new phone. I even posted on snapchat that I was going to try to get his reaction on video.
He came home to his bratty two youngest screaming, this is how they talk. He grounded the youngest one sent him to bed he started crying, he also tried to calm the youngest girl (Marissa) because I had yelled at her. I had told her to shut up and to go bother one of her other sisters. Keep in mind that the other 2 times I had given her only warnings. So yes, I agree maybe I exploded...I had enough the first 2 times.
By the time he came in the room and settled down he was too tired and stressed to even talk to me. He told me what Marissa had said to him. I told him that was true, he said it's a pretty fucked up thing to say. I told him, "I'm sorry it's your daughter but it's true she's really annoying and I can't stand her." This isn't the 1st time I've said this by the way.
He stayed quiet and the thrill was gone, I gave him the phone told him, "I tried to surprise you, but there's no point now." Rolled over and hid under my sheets. He hardly looked at it and put it down.
I posted on snapchat to "forget about the reaction video he was too tired and mad, plus his bratty children needed his attention anyways. Note this is the hard part, this is why you don't date guys with kids because you always come last."
It was the lil boys birthday yesterday, I felt depressed didn't come out my room all day, plus i didn't want my father in law to see me this way. Mario got home, he kissed my forehead told me thanks for the phone again. I said, "your welcome" i figured he had finally seen the video. He started wrapping presents asked for tape, he went outside and spent the evening with family. I missed out on him opening the presents and the cake cutting. I figure he would've asked me if I wanted to join, if he wanted me there. But he didn't, so I never stepped outside. I didn't want to ruin things even more. And all of them screaming and bickering at the same time gives me anxiety.
It's Sunday now we haven't talked much, just tried to keep it civil. It's awkward, not sure if I'm mad I don't know this feeling. I just know this is chipping away at our relationship.
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My DH has 4 kids they stay
My DH has 4 kids they stay with us almost always. They need constant attention and constantly interrupt. Even interrupt sex. Gets old. It's even more frustrating when they are supposed to be with BM. She ditched them all weekend cuz she was sick yet on facebook at a hockey game. They were supposed to be gone Friday at 9 am. She kept pushing pick up time back til she finally said she wasnt coming. They sat on him most of Saturday afternoon while we had company. Its embarrassing. They lay all over him on the couch while the adults sit on the floor watching football. I left with my family and spent the night with my parents and adult kids. Im not going back til I have to.
WOW,
WOW,
This guy is an idiot. There's no way he should have you around his children.
Dont know what that means
Dont know what that means
My comment was to the OP, not
My comment was to the OP, not your post.
I was thinking the same thing
I was thinking the same thing.
You don't want SOME
attention, you want ALL of the attention at the expense of his kids. You sat in the bedroom all day on his child's birthday hoping he would come running after you begging you to join in or would spend time with you while neglecting his child. He parented his children and tried to talk to you about the irresponsible thing you said to his child. But you wanted it to be about a cell phone.
Also, are you 12? Adults don't Snapchat reaction videos to a new cell phone, especially one he asked you to look for anyway.
It is hard dealing with skids
It is hard dealing with skids, there’s no doubt. But you have to have a good game face, and it seems that you need to work on that. Also, no offense, but the way you handled it was a bit childish. Posting statements about his bratty kids on Snapchat, and how you aren’t going to do a reaction video because he’s mad (I don’t know anyone over 18 that would say that kind of thing, let alone post it on Snapchat), and then expecting him to come in and give you a personal invite to watch him open gifts? It’s a bit much.
If you feel like you can handle step-life (it’s hard, I’m still not convinced it’s for me), I think you may need to do some self-reflecting on how you can react better to situations.
^^^ This 100%
^^^ This 100%. And why do you expect to get ALL his attention when he has kids, especially on one's birthday. The fact that you were embarrassed to behave this way in front of your FIL means you know you are petty.
Just fyi, I know this is a site for SP's to vent but it's not made up of evil SM's/SF's. You should decide if you want a man with kids now before it's too late.
This is going to be harsh
It sounds like you don't some attention. YOU WANT ALL OF THE ATTENTION.
If I ever spoke to my future ss's like you did to your boyfriends daughter, my fiancee would end this with me on the spot. You should have just told her to go to her room in a calm but stern manner instead of lashing out on her. Part of being an adult means ACTING like one.
How old are you? Adults don't use snapchat to film reaction videos and DEFINITELY don't bash kids on it - "his bratty children need attention anyway". Then on his son's birthday you hide out in your room hoping he would neglect his child to come console you on a mess you yourself created.
"this is why you don't date guys with kids, you'll always come last". Well if their spouse is acting like an immature child, what would you expect?
He should not allow you around his kids. Don't be surpised if he ends things with you over this
^^^^
Could not have put it any better!
I had to
comment again because this reminded me of something that happened at oldest DD's 5th birthday party. Ex was dating his now wife and we had a good working relationship as well as an agreement to hold one party for the kids. So off we go to the rec center with my family, his family, my husband's family, and friends of said birthday child as well as some personal friends of ours (from all sides). Party is paid for by my husband and I. No problem.
About 20 minutes into the party future SM storms out the door. And why? Because no one is paying attention to her. Seriously. I even followed her thinking that someone had said something out of line. But no. Her issue was that the attention was on my five year old. Who, with no bias at all, is about as perfect of a kid as you could ask for, even at almost 20 now and who also generally dislikes the spotlight. Said child was playing with her little friends and the adults were chatting. She made a fool out of herself and that was also the last joint party we had. However, my ex husband's family always attended the one I threw after that to avoid the drama that she has brought on for the last 15 plus years. Unfortunately that was not the last fit she threw at an event for one of the kids. She has a habit of doing it, even on graduation days. I am actually thankful she didn't attend my son's wedding.