Hi everyone!
I'm not sure if I'm venting, looking for advice or just need to hear from someone who's been down this road before.
I was a single mom to 2 terrific children until the summer of 2006. I met and grew to love this wonderful christian man that I will call SM. SM had 4 terrific children of his own. So after dating long distance for a year (he lived 950 miles from me... I met him through a coworker that is related to him) he wanted to get married and combine our beautiful families. I, of course, was hesitant and wanted to wait until my youngest graduated from high school (this past May) 1) because I didn't want to take him from the kids he grew up with or the sports he was involved in and 2) because he was in the 10% of his class and planned to go pre dental after he graduated. Also, just being mom and personally knowing how hard it would be for him to change schools, friends, and to be so far away from family, I just felt it would be better to wait.

Long story short... I didn't wait. My future hubby and my sister just wouldn't let up. He lives in a suburb, outside of one of our biggest cities in the U.S. More opportunities for some but thats just geography to others. I won't go into all the details but, we did marry and move before the start of my son's sophmore year and then, moved back at the end of the school year so that my son could finish high school in his hometown. It was too hard, for all of us! My son became depressed, grades dropped and there just wasn't enough of my hubby to go around (he had two teenagers as well). My son played hockey and his played basketball... so, when he did have time to do something with my son it was to go to his son's bb game (after a couple of games, my son became bitter and said he that he was not into it). Needless to say, I was torn. So my hubby and i (his ideal first) decided that it would be better to let my son finish school back in our hometown. As parents, we felt that it was a loving thing to do. Neither of us wanted any of the kiddies to suffer. So, back home I worked PRN at a local hospital so that I could spend quality time with my son and also, to meet up with the hubby at regularly scheduled times. It was hard but we made it special at the same time.

Again, long story short... My son's last 2 years of high school were awesome; he got his grades back up (thankfully he was ahead in credits), and started college where he is pre dental and is involved in sports at a division 1 school (not bad for a previously single mom eh')

So, now I am back with the hubby. I was excited to be reunited with him (i mean we are practically still newlyweds). Looking back, the problems started before I moved back this time. My hubby let me know that if my daughter wanted to come down she would have to get her own place, she is a young college student and old enough to be on her own. Still, it kind of bugged me that he said it that way. His reasons were fair, he said that WE needed this time to bond and celebrate our marriage. My hubby was dead set that we had to come first, after God. But where I am confused is:

Ever since I been back... we can't breathe without one of his ex wives (Yes, he has 2) or his children needing something (always has to do with big money items with the older ones). As far as the ex wives go... GEEZ LOUISE, I have to deal with a GrEeDy one and a NeEdY one...

So far, I've been with him 6 weeks and we've had 1 date. Almost every night we have baseball or football practice/games for one of the younger ones (the second ex likes to remind me that she doesn't have time to take them and that my hubby said that he and I would do it all the time because he told her that I love kids and also, that he was the one that wanted them to be in sports. The older 2 are all about seeing him when they want or need money... enough said. I try to be polite, fair, positive, supportive, and tolerant of the demands coming from every direction. But, here's the thing that I don't know how to deal with...

My husbands second ex wife (the needy one) is moving 2 doors down from me??? First of all, my hubby didn't want my daughter here because we needed OUR time (NOT going to happen if she becomes our neighbor) Not meaning to sound overwhelmed and/or stressed that his 2 younger ones will be at our house ALL the time but, I have to admit that I am overwhelmed and stressed... There will be NO break (kind of sounds mean, I never wanted much of a break from my own). This ex calls my hubby to talk about her problems (not related to their children) when she should be talking to her live in that she has a 2 year old with. Supposedly she is losing her house and is in trouble with the IRS and her friend owns the house by us... how conveinent. Maybe I'm wrong for being stressed but I can foresee the future on this one: she will want an open door policy (not if I'm here), the boys will never want to stay with her, and she will be calling and borrowing, wanting and needing blah, blah. blah... I don't know what to do, I'm at loss. I feel like I've been punch in the stomach and I want to punch back (bad to say I'm sure My hubby says he's sorry and that we will have to set ground rules... Ok, that being said, he wants to set ground rules with a woman that 3 years ago, told her children that I AM NOT THEIR STEPMOM and sent my hubby text messages calling me a B and telling him that he knows what she can do to him (WHAT, he already pays over 2,000 a month in child support... probably a false claim so that she could get money from my hubby and also file a claim with her insurance company). Now, she wants to be clingy with my hubby and me...Urrr, I will be polite but NEVER trust. I'm thinking that she see's babysitter written all over my face (she's already trying to send her and her boyfriends 2 year old over with my hubby's two).

I'm at loss as to how I can or should handle this. I tried to talk to my hubby tonight (he had just broken the news to me yesterday) I wanted to try and make sense of a situation that makes me uncomfortable. Plus, I wanted to see what kind of ground rules he wanted to TRY and enforce with his ex. He actually became upset with me at the beginning of our conversation (because I wanted him to explain how and why this all came about). All I know is that if we can not sit down and discuss this as adults, I'M OUT OF HERE! Yes, I'm probably a little pissy but GEEZ honey, YOU DROPPED A BOMB ON ME...

Thanks for reading and God bless!