Please help me with a tough situation
My 15 year old step son is deliberately mean to me. It doesn't matter what I do, he is disrespectfull. It is usually only when his dad is not around, but the other night his dad saw it first hand, and during the "fight" disucussion, the stepson said that he couldn't wait to see his mom because they laugh all the way to school about me. Now I know for a fact, this is true, because his younger sister said it was and she hasn't entered the lie to us stage yet. Do I address this issue with her, how can he respect me if his mom has no respect for me. (unless she needs us to pay for something). I told my husband I was tired of wondering everyday we have the kids, how my evening was going to go with "B", that i dreaded going home to this situation. He was very supportive and has sent his son to live with his mom full time, but, I found out today she wants us to pay for half of drivers ed. Keep in mine he failed his freshman year last year and his first report card had a "F' on it. I do not feel like he has shown any repsonsibility to be driving and I don't want my name on anything he might drive, I have worked to hard all my life, to have his irresponsibilities to ruin it from some law suit, because he didn't obey the law. He blatenly will say "no" to any adult he pleases. He has one in school suspension this year and one 3 day suspension this year and we are only in the second month of school. Should I say something to my husband about how I feel about him driving our vehicles?
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I think that you definitely
I think that you definitely have to let your husband know why you don’t want him driving your car(s). If he gets into an accident as a minor in your vehicle, you and your husband will be financially responsible. God forbid something really bad happens! Outside of all that is the fact that this child blatantly disrespects you to your face and his mother condones this…let him drive her car!
Make a GREAT Day!
Insurance
Insurance rates are higher if they don't take and pass driver's ed, so I wouldn't even insure him on your policy, which means he then can't drive your car. But be careful, because if his residence is with you for any part of the year (if hubby has even partial residential custody) then I think you are required by law to insure him if he has a driver's license and lives under your roof even part of the time. Get hubby to stand united with you in the respect and responsibility fight... meaning that if he isn't respectful and responsible, then no driver's ed, no car, no license, etc. Driving isn't a RIGHT, it is a PRIVILEGE. Stepchild, adopted child, biological child, whatever, how many of us got our driving privileges taken away as punishment for our behavior when we were young? MAKE HIM EARN IT!
~ Anne ~
I think..
He first off needs to learn respect and apparently that is not going to happen till his mother grows up.. I think I would tell her that if she wants you to pay for 1/2 of drivers ed to get a lawyer.. He cannot even pass 9th grade and his report card is not good. I think you should tell him your feelings on this.. First of all his son shoudl get smacked for the disrespect.. I believe in smacking a kid if it drives a point home.. Not beating a smack or some sort of punishment.. He is a brat.. Let his mom pay for his way in life she obviously does not care.. He will be in juve if she is not careful. She sounds like a FRUIT CAKE... Who should not be a parent.. Do you want me to call her? I will.. I have a lot I could probably say to her just by what you wrote here.. It makes me sick when kids are so rude to people but it angers me when they are treated as though they are kings.. and for what.. Sorry to be so poopy with this.. Its not directed at you in any way.. I think the biomom is a bitch.. Until he showed improvement in grades and respect my money wouldn't go for anything for him.. He need a Lesson on "Hard Knocks".. if you ask me.. "Good luck...
If he was my stepson
I know I wouldnt be paying for anything for him until he cleans up his attitude and marks...and if I was married to his father...I would be making that clear.....Let the dear bm pay for the car, insurance, the driving lessons,,,,,and let her pay dearly down the road when mr. stepson with the attitude turns on her because he has no respect for her.....then you can sit back and laugh!