That's what my thought was as well, that she's trying to make him feel bad for leaving her.

Thank you for your advice. I'll just tell Dh to just let him know he'll see his mom on Sunday and leave it at that. Do you he should just ignore his crying and not console him? I almost feel like if Dh consoles him that Ss will see this as a reward for negative behavior and Ss has a tendency to feed into that. What do you think?

Thankfully Bm doesn't ever call during Ss's visitation so we don't have to worry about that. IF she does start to call though, which she may considering the letter she wrote to Dh's attorney stating she wasn't agreeing to the parenting plan, she stated that she often tries to call Ss during Dh's visitation but that Dh doesn't answer to let her talk to Ss. That of course was a lie. In all the time Dh and I have been together, i can count on 1 hand how many times Bm has called to talk to Ss. Anyway, I got carried away there lol, if she does start calling, should Dh tell her she's on speaker phone?

Thank you for your response Echo. Yep, Bm has always asserted herself as the alpha parents and loves telling Dh he's a "deadbeat" "horrible father" etc all in front of Ss.

Okay, I will take that info and pass it to Dh. He asked me what he should do as far as trying to talk to him too see what was wrong to try to talk it out or if he should just ignore it but I like your response of to keep it like a record and just remind him he'll see his mother Sunday and to stop. It seemed last night when Dh was talking to him, once he calmed Ss down and the subject changed, Ss would start crying again and it was as though they started back at square one. It was almost as if he realized that him behaving that way was getting him attention and he didn't want it to end.

That's what I was afraid of... I know there is nothing Dh can do to stop her from doing this but I guess I just didn't know if there is anything we can do at our home. My first thought is to do more stuff with Ss (Like more than we normally do) but I know that will just create entitlement and we don't want that. All Dh wants is for his son to be a normal little boy. He seems to being turning into a tiny little ball of anxiety and it's so sad.

That's so sad. It's crazy to me how parents cannot see how this can affect the kids. Of course there is going to be drama if you're sitting there egging the kid on. I think it hit home for Dh too because his mom used to this to him and his siblings after their parents divorced. Dh said there was a time where MIL Chased FIL's car on foot screaming and crying waving to them. Unfortunately, Dh's brother and sister don't really have a relationship with their or their SM because MIL. She PAS'd the shit out of them so he says it hurts him because he doesn't want that to happen with his son.

Yeah, we're going to just keep our eyes wide open and see what happens. Ss can sometimes be annoying but there is def something different about him.

You could be right but there has been a change in my Ss and a lot of other things that have happened in the past few months. Ss recently let Dh know that when Bm marries her BF (they've been together a year and half-I only mention that because it's not like he's the only other father figure in Ss's life) that he will begin to call him dad and that his mom told him that he has 2 dads and 1 mom and 1 Sm. Dh had to explain to Ss that he only has 2 bio parents and once Bm and the boyfriend that he will have 2 step parents. We've also went to some school stuff for Ss recently and he looked terrified to talk to us because his mom was there-like he kept looking at her when we talked to him-almost for approval. It's just a lot of things that have happened and then with this happening yesterday and the shift in his behavior, it's just strange.

Ehhh, I don't know about what Bm said. Bm has been living w/ her boyfriend for about a year. Prior to that Bm lived with her retired mother and from the time that Ss was a baby (Dh and Bm split up when Ss was 3 mo's) her mother was the one who primarily took care of Ss. When they lived there Ss didn't talk about Bm and would often mention that she wasn't ever home and that he was always with his nana. When we'd ask him things he wouldn't even refer to his mom, he often say things like "I'll have to ask my nana" The nana took on the mother role in his life. When Bm moved in with the boyfriend Ss would make comments about how he missed living with at his nana's because his mom made him stay in room all the time and that no one would spend time with him. Those comments stopped though after he told us his mom told him that he could "borrow" her Xbox and they put that in his room. Last month we caught him pretending to be sick and making himself throw up and he said he likes to be sick because he mommy will spend time with him and cuddle him when he's sick. we've picked this kid up before and he says he's hungry because he's not allowed to eat breakfast because his mom has to sleep until evening time. I totally get what you're saying but Bm is a shitty mom and I'm not saying that because I Don't like her or anything but this a mother who would hotbox her car smoking cigarettes with her friends with Ss in the car. My stepson is a smart kid. not that other kids aren't but he's been talking since he was 2-like fully speaking fully clear sentences. He's one of those kids you see on "kids say the darnest thing" because of how well he speaks and how much of an open book he is. He's one of those kids that just says what's on his mind. There have been many times where he'll say "oh you know, msg1986 my mommy doesn't like you. It's okay though because I like you." or "My mommy hates my daddy, he's her arch enemy". Pssh, when he was 4 he was telling us how he wanted to be a scientist when he grows up so he can invent unmeltable chocolate so that the heat from your hand won't destroy the chocolate before you get to enjoy it. I could maybe understand but I don't know, you'd just to meet him and Bm to understand I guess. It's just sad that there is a change in him.

being that court is in 30 days, would it look bad on Dh if he got Ss into counseling? Do you think he should consult Bm or just find somone that would see Ss on one of the weekends (Dh has every weekend) that we have him?