How old is old enough?
So this weekend when we take Fss home, BM literally shoves Fss in the house and shuts the door and and from what I could see from the car starts screaming at FDH. FDH just shakes his head and turns away and walks back to the car. When FDH got back in the car He says that she was losing her sh*t because she called him once yesterday but didn't leave a message or text, and because FDH doesn't accept calls from her anymore because of this kind of behavior he didn't know why she called. Well when we got there, she went off telling FDH that he NEEDS to answer his phone when she calls him (here we go again) and that she wanted Fss home early and that if he wanted to see his son in the future he needs to answer the phone... I dont see why she didn't just text that she want him home early?? FDH just told her, "I don't have time for this." and came back to the car. I don't think she thought I could see her though because she won't flip out like that in front of anyone, esp me. I guess she forgot it's text only... geeez, it's like she gets it one week and forgets it the next. smh.
I'm tired of her wigging out on my FDH when we take Fss home and he walks him to the door and I can't wait until he can walk to the door himself because that will help eliminate her aggressive behavior... at least a little bit. Fss is going to be 5 in July... When will he be ready to go to the door himself? When did you guys start letting Skid go to the door himself?
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How far is it from where you
How far is it from where you guys park to the door?
I wouldn't even allow BM the benefit of texting. EMAIL ONLY which allows for great documentation.
BM had a fit when DH would have skids walk themselves up to the door. We could see them the entire time as it was only about 15 feet or so from the driveway. They were 6 and 5 (almost 7 and 6). So, DH (in the interest of "not making waves") started walking them to the door. THEN the real motivation came out for BM, she would attempt to get him to come inside her house (both on pickups and drop offs). I guess she felt like if he was away from me and in HER territory, she would win him back or something? Luckily for him, DH never fell for that crap.
If she has your FDH available to yell at when she feels like it, she is getting positive reinforcement out of the deal. She still is stupid enough to think she has control over your FDH.
What would she do if YOU brought the kid to the door? }:)
The house Bm lives in has a
The house Bm lives in has a wall that surrounds the yard/house and the front door is about 15 feet from the gate that leads into the yard. FDH and I talked and weren't really sure when he's old enough to walk to the door himself.
Ugh, I WISH we could implement email but whack job just won't comply. FDH implemented text...psshh I THINK like 6 mo's ago and she's still struggling with that. How did you guys go about saying email only? I WISH WISH WISH we could just do that and not have her calling OR texting.
LMAO!!! My cousin suggested the SAME thing about me going to the door with skid but I would think that would cause more drama. She wouldn't have anything to me I'm sure of that but it would definately create more calls/text to complain. When FDH first put the text only rule into effect, when BM would call I'd answer and that sunday we took skid home she flipped out again saying How dare I answer his phone, and I better not answer his phone anymore. It was stupid. I mean hello, I'm going to be his wife in September, I think I'll have the right to answer my husbands phone.
Unfortunately, we actually
Unfortunately, we actually had to get a No Contact Order put into the court order. Sometimes they won't do what you want UNLESS the court is telling them to. And then, she picked and chose which parts to follow. Never followed the visitation schedule, even after DH got a Contempt of Court charge on her. All she got was a slap on the wrist.
But even if he walks the kid to the door, there is no need to engage with the BM. Oh, we also had it put in the CO to use a neutral third-party exchange location. Our BM was psycho enough to come out on her front lawn and scream at us with all her neighbors looking on!
I think it depends on a lot
I think it depends on a lot of things. Is he carrying a bag that might be heavy? Can you see him all the way to the door? How safe is the neighborhood? How mature is he? How does he handle to transfers,does he get emotional or does he handle it in stride?
I know that when being dropped of back at my house from a friends house they just waited in the car from when I was like 7. They stayed and watched me walk up the house and go inside and stayed until I gave the "everything ok" wave from the window. My step mil just waits at the car when she brings the skids back. They have a weekend bag and she can watch them the whole time, I just give her a little acknowledgment wave before I shut the door. That's how we've done it since they were 7 and 8.
But dropping off to the in-laws, dh walks the kids to the door because we cant see their door from where the car is.
Fss comes in the clothes he's
Fss comes in the clothes he's wearing from bm and goes back to Bm in the same clothes, washed of course, so there are no bags involved, not even toys. Bm lives w/ her parents who have probably about an acre of land and we have to punch in their pw for the gates to open for us to even drive to the drive way. the "yard" which is a wall about 4ft high encircles a yard by the front door and where we part is right next to it. So FDH could just open the gate for Fss to go in and wait by the gate for her to open the door. Fss is really mature for his age and he does really well with the transfers, never any tears or anything. It's all he's ever known.