BM not over my hubby?! Bwahahaha!
Like everyone else here, BM is a piece of crap... does drugs, drinks, lets the kids do whatever they want. There were several police reports done over 2 years about accidents that have happened to the skids in her care. She has a fiance who has a criminal record with 4/5 dui including vehicular manslaughter among many other things. She's had roommates come and gone, one of which was in a suspected murder/gang related. That's it in a nutshell.
Regardless of these things, she got full custody of the girls because they go to a specific school district where BM lives and the judge didn't like them being moved around. How this is more important than safety is beyond me.
Alright so a couple weeks ago SD6 spills out that I have been sick because there's a baby in my tummy. So she's been shooting hate daggers at me which I cooley ignore and pretend I don't see... secretly thinking to myself about how stupid and white trash she is.
Fast forward a week, DH sends her a proposal for a different custody arrangement without having to go to court. She and her fiance have been complaining about not wanting to go because DH isn't agreeing to her having full custody- him getting every other weekend and alternating holidays and 1 month out of 2 for summer vacation. She was fine with that agreement... the reason for his change in heart is that he's tired of this dump of a city. His business isn't doing well and we just can't stay in this economy any longer. He got a job where both of our family lives and be a good provider for me and the baby. Ever since, she glares at DH and very rude and short through email and text. Now, DH's arrangement he requested is very similar to what the court granted: every other weekend but to meet halfway between states to pick up the skids. Alternate holidays but he wants 2months summer and she gets a week in the summer (not my choice but whatever).
DH can't understand why she isn't happy about this proposal and why she has been acting so hateful all of a sudden. He thought she would be thrilled over this since it's not terribly different. BM has 2 baby daddies, DH is highschool friends with the other baby daddy. I told him it was obvious, that she wasn't over him despite their rough last year together and breakup that was 2 years ago. She's pissed that I'm having a baby and most likely wonders how come he married me and not her, after she had 2 of his children (classy right?). Then to top it off, she is no longer controlling where he lives... we heard from SD6 that BM doesn't want daddy moving away and she wants him to move closer to her or where we currently live.
So DH speaks with the other baby daddy about BMs "odd" behavior and baby daddy says the same exact thing I said and this dude has known her since they were like 14. That she's never gotten over him and thought he would never move on. That it's obvious she's been using the girls to have her way with him and control where he lives... using them as her pawn. Now she realizes he's moving on with his life with ME.
So onto the custody arrangement... NOW, she wants it changed. She doesn't want him to have weekends, she will not meet halfway, alternate holidays. Umm, less than the court ordered. She's doing it just to get back at him.
*huff* and we thought we were nice not fighting back for the full custody. DH was going to let the original court order rest for the most part as it stood, now he won't back down. They don't want to spend the money on attorney and court fees, well they're asking for it. Goodbye thousands of dollars
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i hate when thier blinded by
i hate when thier blinded by their own rage so much that they dont realize the extent of how much theyre gonna spend in court. then again, if your BM is like mine, she wont pay for anything in court but rely on handouts through 'friends'. Good luck in your upcoming battle!
My wife and I start
My wife and I start celebrating our 17th anniversary in about 10mins. My SS-18's SpermIdiot is still not over my wife and she dumped his cheating ass before the kid turned 1. She had SS when she was 16 and went on to graduate with her HS class with honors, college with honors, grad school with honors and is a CPA. At least once a year when SS would come home from SpermClan visitation he would tell my wife "Daddy (Rhymes with DickHead wants to know if you still love him". My wife would just laugh and say "No, I am married to your dad and I love him very much".
He on the other hand .... lives rent free in one of his parent's rental properties where he sits on his ass and plays online games until all hours of the night, is voluntarily intermittently employed plumber because he thinks it reduces his CS obligation, works for cash under the table for the same reasons, and his one major accomplishment/claim to fame in life is spawning four out-of-wedlock children by three different baby mamas (two of them under age. DickHead was 22 when my son was born). The youngest three of his OOWL spawn live with his parents and he does nothing to support them.
You and your DH are moving on to create a wonderful life together and for you baby and the Skids. Let BM wallow in her toothless moron crap and live her dirtbag life.
As for the visitation when you move... I say go where you need to in order to support your family including the SKids. Once you move file for an amendment of visitation and get that worked out. Our CO stipulates that each party is responsible to transport the child to their location. So, the SPermClan used to pay to get my son to them for visitation and we would pay to get him home.
When it comes to the vitriolic crap from the blended family oppostion, don't let it bother you. SpermGrandMa was our arch nemisis since DickHead did not give a shit enough to care at all. We battled the SpermGrandHag every step of the way through the last 17+ years and got very good at kicking her ass in court. The BM in your situation sounds much like my SS's SpermIdiot so you should be able to use her drug and criminal fuck buddy life style to get her under control before to long. We used the SpermIdiots criminal history, arrest records, children with underage mothers, etc... to keep the entire SpermClan under control. You will similarly get BM under control I am sure.
Hang in there and good luck.