I am counting the days that hubbys 16y/o son will be home
He has been with his equally trifling sister over the xmas break, and honestly, my depression has lifted some, the anxiety too, but its starting to come back because in 5 days, he will be back, and I am waiting for the next "meltdown" from him being Aspies.
The is the excuse for ALL OF HIS ACTIONS and I'm fucking TIRED OF IT!
Some of it I swear is him being an asshole/drama queen to get attention like his burnt dead mamma.
Wouldn't have to put up with his ass if the bitch didn't do herself in, asshole idiot.
Hubby and I are in marriage counseling, and I hope this helps with all the tension and bullshit, but.....I keep feeling a negative in this. Someone told me to start forgiving, but I just don't know how to rid of resentment towards people. I just don't like these kids...and honestly, I don't want to like them. Too much disrespect and bullshit has transpired. I'm tired of making face. Fat fucker hadn't even said "sorry" for telling me "Fuck You". Well, I guess he doesn't have to, right? And honestly, I don't care if he ever does.
I need to read more about disassociating and disengaging, and learning how to do so. I am practicing in getting in the habit of saying "Ask your dad" on anything that kid asks me.
I'm done with the up-and-down roller coaster relationships...he will be ok for a few days and then says or does something stupid to piss me off, I go off, then we will have a face-to-face again like before where I was going to knock the shit and future shit out of him and make him see light blue cherubs and stars.
I'm trying not to anticipate the worst but...he will have a meltdown again or be disrespectful, and I am worried about how I will handle it, without going ballistic.
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I can relate to this kind of
I can relate to this kind of resentment and anger that never goes away. Especially when the source of these negative emotions is going to be in your space. I am in that situation as we speak and here's what works for me. I either leave the house and catch a cardio class at the gym. Lock myself in a room with a glass of wine and a hilarious comedy or I ask DH to take the kids out of the house for awhile. What I wouldn't advise is to stay around the source of contention.
I can see that, but most
I can see that, but most times DH works 12 hrs and its usually his kid and my BD8 here, and I shouldn't, but I barricade myself in my own bedroom. I shouldn't have to do that, but even hearing him walk across from his bedroom to the kitchen (my bedroom is a downstairs living area) 20 times a day, and im not exaggerating, and then when I have to come up and make dinner, and the closer it is with dinner being done, he will come in the kitchen and say HI, and I cringe, because I don't want this wilder beast to even speak to me - he is just seeing how close I am in finishing dinner anyway so he can eat for the 21st time that day.
4 days.
I even told my husband about my anxieties about this - and told him about the xmas gift his daughter gave me, the one that he said that his daughter went all out for. It was a crusted old peach flavored lollipop in the shape of a weed pipe. I threw it out but told husband why I don't want anything to do with his family, especially his kids and his trash sister in law, that constantly sends me messages on FB and constantly tells me how much his family doesn't like me, but her and her husband (my husbands brother) do. I blocked her on FB. Hell, I am not even on my husbands FB page because of all of the friends and relatives of his, I perceive that don't like me after me venting about his kids on my page, he "shared" what I was venting and put it on his FB page for everyone to see, including his kids. That just pissed me off, like he wants to stir up crap. What I place on my page is my shit, so now, since it seems I can't do that anymore, this is my only venting outlet.
This and the marriage counselor.
Thanks for listening - I hope things go better with you in time as well. We don't deserve this, I don't think.