SD22 just decided that she is excluding us from her life! ahhhhhh!
It all started because of the babyshower and her not including me, and sending separate invitations to everyone in the house, but me (actually it started from the moment we got married, no, it started when we were dating, but I digress). So my husband stood up to her and told her since she chose to exclude me and my daughter from the babyshower and be hurtful that he would not be attending the shower. She then began to use her son as a tool (I know, big surprise here) -- how it was making her sad that her dad wasn't going to get to meet her "new family" -- she's not married to this boy, just having a baby with him. How it made her sad that her son was having to be punished and she didn't understand why. Please!
So her boyfriend came over on two separate occasions -- actually a pretty nice kid, don't know how he ended up with nutjob SD22, but whatever. He talked to my DH and tried to explain where SD22 was coming from. I think those conversations really opened SD22's boyfriend's eyes as to what was really going on, but what's he to do. She's carrying his child -- he's stuck with her.
So after the visit this evening, my DH got a phone call from the boyfriend saying that SD22 decided that she was excluding both me and my DH from her life. My DH is pissed. He says he's not going to cave because he sees exactly what she is doing, and said what an ungrateful, stupid little spoiled brat she was, and that if she was going to throw away their relationship because of a babyshower then she was more stupid than he thought. He's finally had it with her.
I am glad she wants to be done with us. I was done with her a long time ago, and so the fact that she doesn't want anything to do with me -- I'm thrilled!! I feel bad for my DH, but inside I'm doing the happy dance!!!
- momof5_1969's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Be glad your SD did this but
Be glad your SD did this but do not expect it to last. My SD 35 refused to talk to her dad for the past 3 years but has now decided to pretend that it was not her choice to do so. Instead she now is trying to convince everyone around her that she wasn't the one not talking to her father - no it was all my fault - I was ( in her own words) "putting a wedge between her and her Dadddddddddyyyy and my own minor bios!" So, do not be surprised if this entitled brat deos not later try to say this was all your fault in some weird way or the other......
I just wish I had half of the control over my H that SD 35 thinks that I do because there is so much that I would change if I could.....just saying..............
Keep a call and convo log on
Keep a call and convo log on everyting a Skid, the Skid's SO or an XW/XH say. Date it and mark the time, log if it was a face to face or telephone convo. Print a hard copy of every e-mail and forward texts to your email so you can print those too then put the print out in a file so it can be corrolated to the call/convo log if the print out is related to the call/convo. If it is a telephone call, record the conversation. There is nothing like playing a recording of a conversation to give clarity to someone who is foggy on what they said.
This has worked well for us in the past when my SS's SpermIdiot and SpermClan try to deny a comment they have made or an agreement we have come to.
It does not take all that much time to administrate and will return huge benefits in future court action or he said/she said/she said she said that he said/they said..... drama.
Since she made the decree that her dad and you are out of her life and will not see her child she will likely need to be reminded of her decision when she has revisionist recollections in the future.
Hope that she sticks to this decision forever but prepare that she will not with records.
"SM has the plague - she
"SM has the plague - she still gets an invite (and is expected to decline obv)". Well, we are definitely treated like lepers......
LOL!
Crack open the
Crack open the champagne!
Just think, no more crap, no more brat tantrums, no more upset.
Your husband will get over this, mine did and we are both happier as a result.
He is now forging a relationship with his 2 daughters on his terms not theirs.
The trouble is these stepdaughters threaten this hoping for a reaction or a grovelling apology.
DON'T DO IT!
Stay strong, they've got to learn that if you treat people badly they won't want you in their lives.
They all seemed to have missed out on the basic lesson that actions have consequences.
Good luck
xx
I agree with Maux. Celebrate
I agree with Maux. Celebrate now, because she'll be back. SD26 did the same thing, and even did the same thing with having her BF talk to DH. It never lasts long. When there's a grandkid involved, the game takes on a whole new dimension. SD26 uses the grandkid on her own mother. DH is not completely immune. I have to be very careful not to let that get out of hand.
Yes I know (and DH knows this
Yes I know (and DH knows this too) that she is just manipulating him to the point that she wants him to come running to her and beg her to not cut him out of her life (now that he has a grandson). But my DH says he's too pissed off to let that happen. He also knows that if he caves we'll be dealing with it in counseling. He knows he has to set boundaries with her, and he knows that she needs to grow up. When the counselor told him that he was dealing with a 12 year old in a 22 year olds body, that helped him tremendously,and he is realizing that in order for her to change and grow up -- this has to be done.
Now the following through part on his part -- I'm hoping he stays strong.
As for me, I'm not allowing her around me. She is not allowed in the house ever. That boundary is established so even if he caves, that boundary is in place. If he changes that and caves, and things get worse, I've decided I'm done. I'm not going to live in hell for the rest of my life. I'm not using that as a manipulation tactic for him -- just a simple fact that I do not want to live in hell. And living with her or around her, is hell.
Having her out of my life is wonderful. And yes, I'm thrilled and I hope it stays this way. I would love it if she would change. I'm praying that she would -- so we'll see. But I will have to see a change over a long period of time -- not just words, but actions over a long period of time.
I say tell her, no problem,
I say tell her, no problem, you will stay out of her life forever and then move on with your life.