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I just feel angry all the time anymore

momof5_1969's picture

I just feel angry all the time anymore. We really only have two skids in the home now -- SD16 and SS18, plus my BD17. SS21 comes home every now and then from college, but he's pretty easy. It's the SD16 and SS18 that give me the most grief -- well, and the SD22 -- but she's disowned us, at least for now, so she's out of my hair for the moment.

SD16 is a pain in the butt. She is a constant whiner, complainer, lazy ass, pain in the butt child. We bought her a brand new, expensive full size bed about 3 years ago. She began complaining a couple of weeks ago that it "makes too much noise" and that it keeps her up at night and she isn't sleeping. I told her we weren't buying her another new bed because that was an expensive bed, but we'd figure something out. Sometimes if you put boards on the bedfram and then lay the boxspring back on it, that will fix it. At the time she was complaining I was irritated because it was an expensive bed -- I explained I wasn't irritated with her, just irritated because we spent so much money and it shouldn't be noisy. So she must have complained to her friend's mother -- her friend's mother came by today with her USED old box spring and picked up our nice new box spring to take to the Goodwill -- and her friend's mother was quite cold towards me today. Usually she has been friendly and chatty. So it appears that SD16 is probably talking crap about me now to her friends' parents. Nice. Shocked? Nope. Pissed me off though. Pissed me off that SD16 did this and didn't really consult with us about having her friend's mom take the box spring that WE PAID for, off to the Goodwill. I'm telling you, if this whiny little brat starts complaining about this boxspring - she is going to LIVE WITH IT! She wanted it -- she got it. She didn't even give her dad a chance to fix hers.

Yesterday, the cat throws up -- she hears it, and she informs me -- "the cat just threw up" .... I said "so clean it up" -- she says "why do I have to clean it up, it's not my cat?" Keep in mind, her Dad and I had both been home sick all day. I told her, you're right I'll call BD17 and tell her to get over here and clean the puke." I then picked up my stuff and went to my room. I didn't talk to her the rest of the day. I figured it was best because most of the time she is just a jerk to me anyways -- so why put myself in that situation to just get pissed off again.

SS18 yesterday while I'm on the phone to the doctor, having a very serious conversation, begins laughing at me. Apparently me talking about my illness was quite funny to him. I told him to shut up, but instead he sits there on the couch and continue to laugh. He tells me he's not laughing at me. Nothing else in the room to laugh at -- tv's not on -- it's just me. I continue my conversation, and then he starts laughing again -- pissed me off. Little jerk.

SD16 cleaned the cat box after being asked to, and instead of putting in garbage, throws the bag of poop next to the front porch on the ground. Yesterday she left it on top of the dryer in the laundry room. I almost took it and put it in her bedroom.

SD16 is pissed that she is running out of money, so she yells at me about her not having money -- this is MY fault?? She needs to get off her fat, lazy ass and get a J-O-B!

SS18 won't go out and get a real job. He graduated in June. He lost his job that he did have, which was only one day a week anyways. So now he is taking a class that is one day a week, and 3 hours on another day. His only job is cleaning horse stalls for a woman 3 hours one day and 3 hours another day. $60 per week. That's it. Otherwise, he is home watching tv, or playing video games. It is driving me nuts at how lazy they are. I DON'T GET IT!

I realize that these are really little things -- but I shut down about 6-8 months ago, and now everything they do pisses me off, and all I can think is "I can't stand you". I cannot find one redeeming quality in SD16. At least in SS18 I can find some redeeming qualities, but SD16 is a piece of work. I don't even like to talk to her. Her volume of talking is LOUD at all times. I can't stand the sound of her voice or her laugh. It is irritating.

She even got irritated with me when I asked her if she could make a Christmas list for me. She was so lazy on the day I asked her, that she didn't want to get up to get a pen or paper. Seriously. Even so lazy that day that she wouldn't get up off the couch to go to the next couch to get a blanket to put it on herself because she was cold. She was bitching because she was cold but won't put on more clothes (she was wearing shorts) and won't get off her lazy ass to get a blanket. Irritating. I can't even stand to be around her these days.

The pissy look she has on her face all the time just simply irritates me to no end. I have to pray all the time that God will help me to like these two kids that live in my home. I've thought often of leaving because I don't like his kids. Some days (most of them) I can't STAND them. It's EVERYTHING.

I needed to vent -- thanks for listening to me. I didn't want to burden my Mom with this stuff just before Thanksgiving -- she has to be around them, and my Mom wants me to leave my DH and his brats.

Comments

icecubenow's picture

Please get your DH to address this NOW. If he doesn't, your life will sound alot like mine through the rest of Skids' years at home.

MY SD17 began making her own decisions when she was about 12. She decided what was best for her to wear to school, once she wasn't under the blanket of school uniforms. Her store of choice these days is VS. (Yay, PINK.) She decides which classes to take in school and if she can't skate through them without studying, she drops them and adds basket-weaving. (Yay for her GPA. Not really basket weaving, but you get my point). She announces when and where she will be going, without details of whom is involved. If DH attempts to parent her, SD17 tells him that "you already raised me. I don't need you anymore. (bats eyelashes and smiles sweetly)."

To keep SD happy, our Christmas tree has been up, with NO decorations for about a week. DH won't decorate it without her...she will feel left out. She makes plans to go out with her girlfriend. The tree continues to sit, bare-branched. (Tree is up for a couple of family events this week...Thanksgiving being one of them)

Her most recent plans involve staying in town when she graduates high school, getting an apartment with her one girlfriend, getting a Great Dane, and going to the community college. No discussion...just announcements. She came home last weekend and announced that she and girlfriend were driving through a nice neighborhood and saw an "awesome couch and love seat out at the street! We are going to get it to (the friend's) garage so we can have it for our apartment!!!! Dadddyyyy!! It's peeerrrrrrfect!" Probably has lice or ticks.

It's a good thing she has made friends with this girl. Her friend will be the one doing the cooking, cleaning, dog-walking (they BOTH want to get a Great Dane each). SD17 knows how to sit in front of a mirror, and a computer or phone. That's IT.

No need for me to continue...the snide laughing by your ss, and the inconsiderate/selfish ways of your sd may be par for the course, from the attitudes/behaviors I've seen from my own SD. If your DH doesn't address all of this now, you will probably feel the need to join the ranks of the disengaged.

momof5_1969's picture

My DH and I both were gone at the time that it happened. He came home when it was halfway done. SD was the one who arranged for it -- so the friend's mother was an innocent bistander. I blame SD. I talked to DH today about it -- and he said that it was SD's choice. I said "seriously?" WE paid good money for that boxspring only for her to take it off -- apparently it went to the DUMP! It was only 3 years old!!! Unbelievable.

DH doesn't care and said that if SD complains about this boxspring that its on her to find herself a new one. We arent' buying her another one. SS is now complaining about his bed. His bed is even more new than hers. Unbelieavable. Ungrateful brats. We just didn't buy him a full sized. Bought him an extra long twin because his older brother needed one at the same time. I AM NOT buying him another bed --- he cane buy his own damn bed. He wanted me to buy him a new dresser -- I said NOPE -- you'll be moving out soon -- you can go to the goodwill yourself and get something there or go get something else. He has one, he just doesn't like it. Tough crap if he doesn't like it!

Jsmom's picture

How do you know that the box spring that came into your house, didn't have fleas or mites or bed bugs. No way in hell would a used one be coming into my house. I would be livid...

momof5_1969's picture

Yes I'm still irritated over the whole thing, but what can I do? DH doesn't care.... ticks me off... and I didn't even think about fleas mites or bed bugs!! YUCK!

Jsmom's picture

It is your house too....I would have flipped out on DH. I did figure out recently that my not talking to DH for four days earlier this week because of something with SS and BM actually had a benefit....He got me something very nice for Christmas that he accidentally told me about... Did it work, yes, because he did what I asked him to do ultimately with BM. Not the way I wanted, but the way he needed to. You have to be stronger and more adamant than SD about things that affect your home.

Bedbugs will definitely affect your home....