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Is it so wrong? (Vent!)

mommylove's picture

Submitted by mommylove on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 7:47pm

Is it so wrong to want to get what you pay for?

I have 2 jobs: I'm a full-time employee and a full-time mother of 2. I work hard at the first job to support the second job. I bought this house by myself and have continued to pay for it by myself, so don't I pay the cost to be the boss?

I don't ask for much, just to be able to enjoy the fruits of my labor: being able to enjoy my home with my children. Shouldn't I be able to feel comfortable in my own home? To not have to walk on egg shells and subsidize mediocrity?

I've put up with so much in the past 1.5 years, so much more than I ever would've imagined I would and for what? Why is respect and appreciation of my efforts elusive? Why is it not obvious that no one would put up with this were it not for love? Why is that not enough?

We are ALL miserable! Why doesn't he just leave? Why do I always have to be the bad guy?

Tonight will be no exception...

Comments

AlexandraL's picture

Submitted by AlexandraL on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 7:55pm

Omg, this is exactly how I felt when I was living with my BF and SD. I thought I was going to have a breakdown. I know how horrible it is to work all day and not have your home the haven you want to come home to.

It wasn't that I didn't get respect...it was more me feeling resentful that someone else's drama and dysfunction were brought into my home...the one I was paying for us all to live in while BM was sitting around.

All I can say is I feel for you...have you tried counseling?

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 8:49pm

I don't know all the details, but I wanted to say "been there, know how you feel"...so stick to your guns! If you have to be home, do not worry what he says, make YOUR rules and stick to them...if you can't stand the nightmare when his kids are over, get out w/your kids only when his kids are over...then he'll either have to be home alone w/his kids, follow your rules or get out.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 7:44am

Poor thing! That is a terrible way to feel. Hope it gets better soon.

mommylove's picture

Submitted by mommylove on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 8:37pm

You know, it would be a lot easier if I could blame most of the problems in our marriage on SKs or BM, but unfortunately that is not the case in our situation.

Both BMs really rely on H to parent the kids because they are too busy being wrapped up in their own lives to do it. So there was never any real risk of not being able to see his kids to hang over H's head. Further, H pays SD's BM a meager amount if CS, much less than what I get from DS's BF who makes much less money, but that's because H & BM don't go through the courts for CS or vistation.

That said, I cannot believe I didn't see this more clearly before now. DH is just selfish, plain & simple and I'm tired of enabling him!