Yes....and it happened!!! But that's not to say it will happen with you, Mommylove. My 2nd ex betrayed our love, by being inappropriate with a friend while drunk at a party(and I was sitting at home with the kids, after leaving early to put them to bed for school). Then I fell pregnant with our daughter a few months later and my friends turned against me for having a kid with him. That hurt the most! Then a few years later, our 'friends' (the couple he acted inappropriately with) decided that my husband could give them a baby by sleeping with the wife! As they could not conceive due to the hubby having had a vasectomy. Some friends hey?!! I tried to make the marriage work but had lost respect and then eventually love for this man who I initially believed was a good person and good father to our daughter & steps. What a fool I was...we grew apart and he never changed...just kept drinking and flirting with other women until one night (after I had gone to bed)he was evesdropping & listening to the neighbours making love (loudly in their bathroom!) and he sms'd the wife to meet him at the gate. Next thing we know the hubby, shivering wife behind him, are standing in our house at 2am in the morning accusing my ex of having an affair with his wife and yelling at me to keep him away from his wife!!! I was so shocked...Next morning I packed my & my kids stuff and moved to my mother. Sorry not an encouraging story...but I think that I married him on the re-bound from my first marriage, because my first ex said that I would land up in the gutter and if I was lucky, an old man would save me and that's all I would be worth.... I also needed to stop ex1 from trying to get custody of our son, so that was also motivation to re-marry.

But yes, we grew apart when I realized that our marital vows were not being taken seriously by my husband and that it was normal for him to become a swinger even if his wife didn't want to. My father died an alcoholic at 62, so when husband started turning to booze to make him feel better, instead of to me, I knew I couldn't live that way. We had couples therapy after the betrayal episode and he swears he never slept with her (friend) but only touched her breasts...to me that was a betrayal good and solid!! But being in denial will not save a marriage. He apologised for doing it, but when I asked him to stop drinking so much..he refused. We were married for 9 years (in fact we are still married, as he won't settle and honour the ANC contract and has now gone out of business (conveniently)but I left him in 2005.) The lawyers stuffed up our case so much and then withdrew, so it is pending until one or both of us can find the cash to just settle it.

I have been with FH since 2007. We are very compatible and consider ourselves soul-mates (not that it is easy with the blended-family issues (see my posts)).

Good luck & you are in my prayers!

Sorry, Mommybear...seems I went overboard in my post above. It is a very sore point in my life & FH now fears becoming the 3rd statistic!!! But we won't marry for quite a while and we are comfortable the way we are now.

I think that if you both go into the 2nd marriage accepting what happened to the 1sts and don't dreadge the previous failure into it, it will work. But as you say "the most common reason for divorce in second marriages is due to blended family issues." And if you get through these, you are ok...but it's hard....

Keep at it!
MG