DH and I are reading STEPMONSTER together and we're in the section "remarriage realities".

It hits him like a brick thrown at his head, that the problem with his first marrage to psyco-BM, was that they put the kids first, and not their relationship, and that is the problem with his adult self-entitled brats now.

For the first year and a half we were together, I came second and it was an intense struggle with both of my SD's pitting us against each other, all the fights, and drama, etc.