my 17 almost 18-year-old stepdaughter has massive ADHD and takes stimulant medication and other medication to manage it. Recently, I found liquor in a water bottle in her room. She lied about it and said it was from a party but somebody else just put it in her backpack and it wasn't hers, even though it was the same brand of water bottles we have in our house and it smelled like the liquor my husband has. She lied about going to her counselor, which she insisted that she needed because she said she has anxiety. We are also paying for outside private counseling in addition to school counseling In addition to psychiatrist appointments and medication and Church youth group. She's also lied about being sick to get out of the church group.  Recently we were at my mothers house for Xmas and two of her stimulant medication pills fell out on the couch from her purse. These are controlled substances and cannot be taken out of the house. They are highly regulated.I asked her why the hell do you have those in your purse? I portion them out for you every morning so the only way it could've gotten in your purse was that you put the medication in your purse instead of putting it in your mouth and taking it. She just looked at me dumbly and said I don't know.  We've talked about how that's illegal to carry that around without the prescription bottle and how serious it is. I'm so pissed off. She's also lied and said she takes the meds when she drives.  Then she drove today and hadn't taken her med! She is soooooo impaired with adhd it's not even funny. Also i found another bottle of meds she takes that i filled not even 2 weeks ago and it's EMPTY w no lid.  She must have dumped them into a purse or something. And yes, I hold all of her medication's in my bathroom, so obviously she's sneaking in here and taking medication from my bathroom. I told my husband, but he said he doesn't care because they are not stimulants. But I'm like I filled it 12 days ago where the hell is all of the medicine ?! What did she do with it ?!??My husband never punishes her. He has undiagnosed ADHD as well, but he 100% has it. He is a crappy parent to be honest.  he never wants to punish her because it's just too much effort. I went ahead and went up to her room tonight and told her I'm taking away driving for three days so she can take the bus to school and think about all of her actions because all of the lying is getting old. And it's putting our family in jeopardy  Because she's doing things that are illegal. Drinking, carrying around medication that she is not allowed to just have her purse..  Also, sometimes when I discipline her, my husband goes behind me and tells sd  "you don't have to listen to stepmom, you don't have to do that punishment bc it's bullshit "so I'm really hoping that's not gonna happen. I know that is very disrespectful of him. Which leads me to my next point. I also have two small children on my own with my dh ages 2 months and almost 3 years.  I'm wondering if I need to separate from my husband because he cannot make good parenting or relationship choices. But the flip side  of that would be he would have my two young children for his parenting time without me, and I worry about them being with him without me there. He has a bad temper, basically just puts my three-year-old in her room because he doesn't wanna deal with her, yells at all of us, started throwing things recently. I know this is not a good situation. I stepdaughter is almost 18 so I feel like ultimately, I've done what I can. Although I know she will fail to thrive. That will have to be his problem. But I worry about my two young biological children. I worry about them going over to his house even if it's for a weekend. He is a very angry person and it has gotten way worse since we had kids together. He is very immature and impatient and wants things his way, I honestly think he's a narcissist. What can i do to protect me and my kids? I dont want a divorce , no one does. Also my parents won't let me stay there because my mom just says " try to work it out and just not make him mad and not bring up stuff to upset him "   I don't have anywhere to go w my two small kids (and two big dogs who he also abuses). Also, I stopped working when I had my two kids because of the cost of daycare and I used to be a teacher so it would eat up my whole paycheck for daycare for two little kids. Thanks for reading.