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Strange Phenomenon

MJL2010's picture

It seems that my stepsons are getting worse rather than better as they get older- in terms of adjusting, ease in our house, and overall "contentment". (Hard to put this into words.) Both now have digestive issues that BM is always ranting *MUST* be caused by DH and me, they still freeze like deer in the headlights if I should happen to answer the phone (omg the phone games), and their former joie de vivre just seems to be fading. Sad It has been a loooooooong summer so there's also the chance that we are all ready for the transition back to school and that I'm interpreting these "symptoms" when I should just realize that a change- of routine, of seasons, is coming.

They drive me nuts but I do love them and I know that none of this is their fault.

Has anyone else noticed similar? What have you done to combat? Or have you just chosen to combat it with more of a Zen approach- not doing anything to draw attention to it?

Is this the beginning of DH being PAS-ed out? It seems like they have the same stuff going on in her house- frequently they come with tales of punishments, fights, illnesses, etc...but in between all that there is plenty of alienation, plenty of manic shopping and a hectic "social routine" (big days out followed by three nights of sleepovers, etc...) The woman is desperate to prove what a fun mother she is and how much her kids deserve nonstop entertainment.

Because like all you steps, I need more things to worry about! Jeez why is this all so complicated? On the other side things continue to be delightful 95% of the time.............

Comments

WalkOnBy's picture

Yes-23 or 24 is about the time they get out into the real world. They do realize that we as parents are far more intelligent than they ever gave us credit for.

There is nothing more gratifying than hearing your adult child thank you for being a hard ass parent Smile

hereiam's picture

Oh my God, the phone thing. My SD is 24, I have been in her life since she was 5, and when I answer the phone, she acts like it's the Grim Reaper; complete silence, like she's afraid to speak.

I am pretty sure that she will never get out of her head, all of the things BM has said about me, even if she knows deep down that it's not true. I don't even care, anymore. She is the one losing out.

Andie91801's picture

I'm with you. They know BM lies but they are incapable to admit that they were/are wrong and continue to make the wrong choice. Why should I bother to help/talk/associate with ppl who knows that they're wrong but still doing it. Now a day my main focus is keeping them away from me and my boy.

A.

Stepmom09's picture

I am glad to see I am not the only one with this. BM treats it like this divorce and two families thing is new. Its not it has been going on all of SS life. As well as she has been remarried like 4 years now or something like that. So nothing is new but SS has all the classic "my parents just broke up" issues and I do not get it at all.