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My how the tides have turned...

MissDirected's picture

In the past few weeks, my Moms condition has declined dramatically. She wanted to go home to the house she and my dad shared, which had been on the market. She told us she wanted to go home and that she wanted to die in her sunroom. So, my sister came in from out of state and she and I have been taking care of her 24/7. This has been so completely heart wrenching on its own. This is the time I could certainly use the support and love of the man who supposedly wanted to spend the rest of his life with me... But, that ain't happenin!

During this time my dear, wonderful SO decided it was the appropriate time to be the worst human possible. Not only was he less than supportive, he was a down right A hole. The text fighting got out of control and I actually received a call from his mom threatening me and saying horrible things as well. Remember when I said MIL was great and not a problem? Well, I've since realized that MIL was behind all the drama with SD15! I was accused of "attacking" SD15 when I asked her why she was eating her sandwich a strange way, and again accused of "being mean" to her. MIL actually made the comment "As head of this household, you are no longer welcome on this property" (We lived next door to her)... Seriously? His Mommy just called herself head of his household???

I have maintained a close relationship with SD20, who hasn't spoken with her dad in a few months. She had been getting tired of Grandma telling her she needed to apologize to him so they could get the family back together and she had been pulling away from Grandma for a while. BUT... when grandma looked at SD20's online cell phone account (family plan) and saw that SD20 and I had been texting and speaking alot, she called SD20 and questioned her about her relationship with me. When SD20 told her to basically get over it and stopped taking Grandmas whiney calls, I was then accused of turning SD20 against Grandma. Now, WWIII has ensued. I finally texted Grandma and told her not to contact me anymore because my Mother is dying and I'm not going to be a part in her petty BS right now!

So, DS14 and I are staying with my Mom until she passes. After that, we have no where to go. And frankly, that's not something I can even think about right now because I'm already so incredibly overwhelmed. That's my update. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers fellow STalkers.

Comments

ldvilen's picture

Yes, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I'm not familiar with the entire story, but I hope that you and your family can come to some sort of peaceful resolution for all, even if that means going your seperate ways. Blessings to your mom.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

You will never regret this time spent with your mother. I'm sorry your DH is such a spineless mama's boy, and in time I'm sure you will be so glad that you and your daughter got away from these people. What a screwed up family.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Hugs to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You poor poor thing. What kind of husband would do that to his wife, I don't know. A bad one

Aprilshowers14's picture

My ex hubby was the same way with his mother. His mother would hide in the woods to watch what was going on at our house. If she thought maybe we were happy, she would bounce on over like only "mommy dearest" could do. Luckily a damn house finally fell on her ass when cirrhosis took her out... ( she was evil so I don't feel bad about this comment) Good luck to you and I am telling you it won't get any better

It never did for me. He started screwing around after momma died... I left, now he begs and crawls.. run while you can.

MissDirected's picture

Holy cow! I thought mine was bad always staring out her window at our house! But hiding in the woods??? That's creepy PSYCHO! :jawdrop:

Indigo's picture

Sorry that your relationship blew up right when you most needed it. True colors, 'eh? Wish you could brand his butt with a giant "Worthless" logo, but that type behavior is frowned upon ...

Remember to care for yourself and your son during this time. {{ Hugs}}

MissDirected's picture

Thank you all so much for the support. It's so good to know you guys are out there. (And Indigo, I love your idea!)

My Mom and my DS are priority #1 for sure. I only bring out the laptop while she's sleeping. When she's awake I don't leave her side because I know time is so limited. It's a hard thing to have to watch. We just lost my Dad last August. But I am comforted knowing he'll be waiting for her in Heaven.

MissDirected's picture

Thank you all so much for the support. It's so good to know you guys are out there. (And Indigo, I love your idea!)

My Mom and my DS are priority #1 for sure. I only bring out the laptop while she's sleeping. When she's awake I don't leave her side because I know time is so limited. It's a hard thing to have to watch. We just lost my Dad last August. But I am comforted knowing he'll be waiting for her in Heaven.

Indigo's picture

You know ... it's hard to talk about in many ways. Life transitions. We have classes on how to have babies, but there are no classes to teach us how to help someone die.

I was blessed to share the last few years of my father's life. We had the chance to heal our relationship, to trade stories, to forge a bond. I read books out loud as he slipped away. I held his hand as he died. It was definitely a heart-stressing blessing.

Now, I'm trying to get my mother to move out of the family home and I'm the one doing the doctor visit runs, shopping for groceries, changing lightbulbs and coaching her into using Depends. It stinks. This relationship is much more complicated than the one with my father and I find it so emotionally charged.

Anyway, ... what you're going through right now is unbelievable. The man of your dreams didn't just have feet of clay when you needed him ... he betrayed you --- both by his behavior and by allowing his family to attack you.

Sorry. You don't want to hear this, but I promise: It does get better.

Monchichi's picture

Sending you love and light during this difficult time. One step at a time is the only advice I have.