I;m new here and am not sure what a DH or BM are. Can you please share?
Thank you

I am new to this website. I found it when I was Googling to get help for my frustration with my situation. I can't even begin to tell you how helpful this website has been for me. Just reading others' comments about their situations made me realize that I'm not alone in what I go through. I think I'm finally getting used to all of the abbreviations (i.e. BM = biological mother, DH = divorced husband?, SS10 = 10 year old stepson, FH = future husband?, etc...). None of my family or friends can relate because none of them are dating/married to someone that has been married before or have kids from a previous relationship. I am currently dating my boyfriend (FH) for almost 6 years now and we've been living together for about 2 years - he has 2 biological kids and 1 adopted kid from his previous marriage and his divorce was final back in 2006. We are not married or even engaged yet, so technically his kids aren't my stepkids yet. Can I still refer to them as SD15 and SS12 on ST when I post comments? His ex-wife (BM) and I have no direct contact with each other generally. BM is basically the exact opposite of me - strange in a lot of ways, a major drama queen, and doesn't discipline the kids at all. When we do have to talk to each other, BM is nice to my face, but I am smart enough to know how she really feels. Whenever I establish trust and a good relationship with the kids, BM does things to ruin what I build with them. She also has done many things in the past 6 years to alienate the kids from me and from FH. My frustration is usually with FH and how he allows her to treat him - he is sometimes like a doormat - doesn't like to confront her on anything and then when he finally does, he backs down right away. We have 50/50 shared physical custody of the kids, but FH still pays BM full amount of CS as if we only have the kids every other weekend. This is because in NY, 50/50 custody doesn't translate into neither parent paying CS. Whomever is the "monied" parent (makes more than the other) is deemed to be the noncustodial parent for purposes of CS and pays the custodial parent, no matter what. So we not only have the skids living with us 3-4 days a week, FH also pays FULL CS to BM. Ridiculous and totally unfair. I have no respect for BM because of this and many other reasons. Women like her make me completely understand why men are so hesitant to get married and have kids. Wow, this was a lot longer than I intended...sorry ladies. Thanks again for making me laugh & smile when I read your posts because it makes me feel better and realize that I am not alone.

Aside from the days that I want to pummel BF about the head, I love that he will do anything for his daughter (also a reason that I hate him sometimes). I love that he's got a kind heart and is a truly GOOD person. I LOVE LOVE LOVE BF's family - I'll go over there a couple of times a month and just talk. They listen to me, they understand (his father had been married before his mother and had a daughter from that marriage so they totally get it) and they usually take my side which is a plus I love that BF has progressed from where he was 2 years ago concerning SD9 and BM. He's come far, I just need to remember that he needs to take baby steps. Being a stepmom and trying to maintain a relationship is the hardest job I've ever had but I wouldn't change anything. It's been a hell of an experience.