I remember how frustrated I felt about my Step situation when I first found StepTalk and all of the AMAZING people that come here. I remember being at my wits end, feeling angry, sad, annoyed, frustrated and lonely - all at one time. I remember "lurking" for a little while, but not joining right away, because I had never "done anything like this before" - sought help from "strangers" on the internet. I think back then I thought I was losing my sanity - and finding StepTalk was my last ditch effort to preserve what little I had left.

I remember thinking to myself, back then, "Will things EVER get better with this??? Will BM EVER calm down, leave us alone? Will skids EVER care about me and show love? Will FDH fully commit himself to ME after everything he had been through in his past (especially his divorce from BM)?". The BIG question I would wonder back then was "WILL THIS RELATIONSHIP LAST? IS IT ALL WORTH IT?"

Fast forward over 1 year later. Things have gotten SOOOO much better in my life - and I truly believe I owe a HUGE part of that to StepTalk and to all of my "virtual friends" here who have been such a tremendous source of encouragement and support for the past year.

I don't consider my situation a "success story" in the sense that my life is "perfect" - no one's life is. However, I can say, WITH PRIDE AND RELIEF, that when I compare my Step situation today to where it was 1 year ago, it is 1,000,000 times BETTER!!

SO many positive changes since I first found StepTalk!!! Just a small list of all the WONDERFUL things that have transpired since I first met FDH over 7 years ago:

1. FDH & I have a VERY STRONG relationship and our commitment to/bond with each other is stronger than ever - and getting better and better as the years go by.
2. After dating for 4 years, I moved in with FDH (then BF) and became more than just "Dad's girlfriend"
3. After 2 more years, he asked me to marry him - one of the happiest moments of my life. He gave me a gorgeous diamond ring and affirmed for me that he wanted to "grow old" with me and for me to be his WIFE for the rest of our lives
4. Fskids were SD9 & SS6 when I first met FDH - now they are FSD16.5 & FSS13. We've been through many years of good times and bad times together, but overall, BM's Parental Alienation campaigns have FAILED and we have an overall great, loving relationship. The fskids respect me and aren't allowed by my FDH to be disrespectful or rude to me or others. I can say that, for the most part, I am PROUD to be their future stepmom.
5. BM has really toned down her narcisstic, selfish crap TREMENDOUSLY over the years. We basically have VERY LITTLE contact with her since the fskids are getting older (no need to talk to her when we can talk to fskids directly - HUGE improvement from when they were younger and everything went through BM).

Now don't get me wrong, all of these things took a ton of time, patience, "taking the high road" (TM), biting my tongue until it's literally torn off, humility, "being the bigger person" (TM), etc... None of this happened overnight. There were times when I thought NONE of this would EVER get any better, that DH would NEVER stand up for me/our relationship, that FDH would NEVER stop being a "doormat" to fskids and some of BM's demands (especially in the earlier years).

I am relieved and ecstatic to say...IT DID! IT DOES GET BETTER!! BM'S DO GO AWAY (lol - not literally of course), SO's/BF's DO EVENTUALLY BECOME FDH'S and eventually H's.

I just wanted to let you all out there know, especially the "newbies" to this whole crazy "Step" world, that there ARE SUCCESS STORIES. Not in ALL situations, but in the stronger relationships, it CAN work.

I'm glad I stuck with it and I didn't give up. That's probably exactly what BM wanted me to do (in the beginning) and was teaching fskids to think as well.

HERE I AM!!! MILOMOM IS HERE AND SHE'S BETTER THAN EVER!!! LOL!!!