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I am REALLY trying.

michellebrown26's picture

Submitted by michellebrown26 on Mon, 01/16/2012 - 7:07pm

I have 3 skids who as of 12/30/2011 live with us full time. I have been in their lives for 7 yrs. The BM has been on a full time campaign to make them hate me. the two older ones 11 and 14 know what a Psycho she is. The issue is the younger 9 yrs old one has been told that I am the devil and I am the reason they are not living with her. Believe me we had a pretty sweet life without 3 skids in the house full time. The 9 yr old skid is really torn since the BM has consistently lied to him about his Dad. He can't handle the fact that his MOM is the devil incarnate. His angst is towards me most of the time. I am trying to understand where it comes from ,but it's REALLY hard!! He is going to start counseling later this week. (If he lives) So hopefully, he'll start to behave better. We're limiting the phone calls with BM until he is stronger.

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Anywho78's picture

Submitted by Anywho78 on Mon, 01/16/2012 - 7:13pm

I'm sorry that your SS9 is behaving that way towards you...it sucks, I know. My SS, also 9 acts out towards me when he is angry at his BM (Nasty)...I understand that she (Nasty) isn't around for SS & when he is hurt or angry because of something she has (or hasn't) done, he treats ME like dirt.

Once I realized what was going on, it was less hurtful for me but it still was NOT okay. We have gotten him to the point where if he starts getting ugly with me, we can ask him if he's upset about anything that he wants to talk about. Normally, SO & I know that she has recently lied to him or sent him girl toys...whatever it is, we know that he is hurt & pissed off so we are able to look out for it & nip it in the bud before it gets too bad.

When he's like this, I always make a point to remind him that I love him & would never hurt him on purpose. I understand that he's hurt but he can't lash out & hurt ME because the person how has upset him isn't here.

Hopefully the counselor will be able to give you advice on how to handle it...it's definitely not fair to you.

michellebrown26's picture

Submitted by michellebrown26 on Tue, 01/17/2012 - 6:22am

Wow!! Can you come and live with us???
Thanks for the pep talk. I needed it after yesterday, but this morning (Celebrating 3 nights dry for a 9 yr old bed wetter). I guess keeping BM off the phone is really working, he was lovely to me.
I understand in my mind, but sometimes in my heart it REALLY hurts.
P.S. I'll make your favorite meal when you come over including dessert. (Another reason BM hates me is that I'm a fantastic cook)!!!