A New Baby!!!
So I just found out I'm pregnant! 6 weeks and 4 days. I am so excited! However, I'm not really sure how this is supposed to work. I can't wait give my FSS a little brother or sister, but I want the BM to stay out of my child's life.
My FSS is going to be such a wonderful big brother! He only 2 and already showing signs of being a good helper and caretaker. Good big brother material... I'm so lucky to have him in my life! 
Then there is his BM. I seriously wouldn't have a problem talking to her about things but she has made it so hard for me to even look at her. The way I see it, I'm in her sons life, why should my baby at least know who she is? Then on the other hand, she has destroyed almost every special occasion in my life. For example: She told us that my FSS couldn't attend my college graduation bc he was sick with a 103 temp. He couldn't meet my family when they came down from out of town either bc his sickness didn't allow him to be around people. The next day he was at the pool with her and her bf. I didn't believe it to begin with, but unfortunately the BD did.
She just found out that I'm pregnant today and decided to give my fiance advice about the Dr. because she is a know it all nurse student. I wanted to kick her butt! I was so mad! I don't know what about that pissed me off so bad, but I want her nowhere in my family life... nowhere! Unfortunately, that's an unrealistic dream. I'm so scarred to bring an innocent child into this mess. My FSS suffers enough. I can't have two of my kids going through this. I cry so much sometimes because there is nothing I can do for him. He's so innocent, and so happy all the time. I wonder what he thinks about everything. How does he view a traditional family?
He calls me by my first name. I wish he would call me something different. Not mommy or anything, just something different, something special, something only we share. But you can't force these things. Maybe when he gets older. What do Skids normally call their Sparents? I'm so new to this, I wouldn't know.
I love my FSS. I think this baby will be the best gift he has ever gotten. When he gets older he's going to have questions. And he's not going to want to ask his parents. We will be old and boring to him. (Little does he know how much fun we were back in the day!) Hopefully he will ask his little brother or sister and they can reassure him that he is their brother and an important part of this family. First born, most spoiled, got the most attention, like any other first. (I'm a first, I know.) He will feel happy and know his place, and feel like he is a part of something, and not just because his parents are preaching it to him. We love him, more than anything else, more than ourselves, more than our relationship sometimes. We make sure he always knows how much we love him, but sometimes it just helps from hearing it from someone else.
I hope one day his BM realizes how much we are ultimately looking out for him. Maybe she will... maybe she wont. I just hope ad pray that she doesn't keep pushing us out of his life because it hurts so bad and it is really getting old.
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Welcome! And CONGRATS!!!!
Welcome! And CONGRATS!!!! ((((HUGS)))) Kids are wonderful! Try not to worry too much about Bm and you should be fine!
Congratulations My skids
Congratulations
My skids call me by my first name. I've always called my stepparents by their first names. To be honest, I'd feel sort of awkward if my SDs called me anything else.
As far as BM's pushing you guys out of his life, do you have a court order outlining custody, visitation and parenting? If you don't, you should get one. It is worth it in the long run. That way, everyone knows the plan and BM will know that she can be taken to court if she violates it.
Congrats! However, I don't
Congrats! However, I don't think you are obligated to have your child around SS's BM. Personally when I get pregnant I plan to keep BM as far away as possible. Think of it this way, BM isn't a part of your family she is a part of SS's. You can love your SS and still have nothing to do with his BM. As for what he calls you, my SD calls me by my name, however when talking to other people she will call me her mom A. I don't feel any less conected to her because she doesn't have a nickname for me. However, if it is something that you want why not set SS down and make giving eachother nicknames a game. It could be something between just the two of you, honestly he will most likely get a kick out of the whole thing. And it can give you something for him to call you besides your name! Also are you afraid that by having the baby BM will keep SS away? Do you have a court ordered parenting plan. Just as others have said to you that is an important thing! It takes the control away from BM. It will not let BM keep him away from you. I used to think court would be too stressful or costly, but after we went through it I couldn't be happier. We have had it written on paper now that we have SD 50 percent of the time! Of course our situation was pretty easy since BM is a shitty mom. It wouldn't be hard for us to have SD for more time with our gem of a BM, but we try not to take SD from BM we think it will be better if she sees BM's bullshit for herself. I wouldn't want her growing up thinking we took her away from her BM. Instead she will grow up begging to live with us full time lol.
My BD3 knows who my SS4's BM
My BD3 knows who my SS4's BM is, but she doesn't have much contact with her. She may say hello when she sees her, but knows that she is her brother's mom and not related to her at all. BM does buy my kids gifts for holidays, but I have always made a point of taking SS to the store and letting him choose gifts for BM as well, and even her new baby. I feel bad for the kids (Especially the baby because she has no other choice in life but to be with BM) and I want SS to be able to give BM and sister gifts for holidays- or a card at the least.
Also, SS calls me by name- and he is the first person to deny that I am his mother. People call me his mom in public and he is the first to be like that is NOT my mom that is JUST my step-mom. Oh well, I wouldn't want him to call me anything else because like was mentioned above, being called mom is special to me.
i dont see why she would
i dont see why she would have to have anything to do with your child. i mean.. I wouldnt let my ss5's bm watch my dogs much less have anything to do with my child.
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."