Do you want your young children having a home life like this? Do YOU want a home life like this? 

What is the plan for when skid turns 18/graduates or flunks out? He gets to stay and keep on keeping on with more of the same? 

Honestly, do you think this will get better?

This kid is the most disrespectful, lazy, entitled kid that I have ever met. And lately it just seems to be getting worse. My BF allows his son to do whatever he wants to do when he wants to do it. 

You have a BF problem. It won't change because your BF won't do jack about it. Stay and know it'll alwys be this way or leave and have peace.

That 17 yr old will soon be an adult with the same problems if something doesn't happen and soon. I agree with Warmachine13, you have a BF problem. Until he learns to set more limits and parent with boundaries and clear rules, you are in for a ride. I would seriously consider some therapy so that a neutral person (that isn't you) tell your BF that he needs to implement more boundaries in the home and can give strategies for doing them. What you're describing sounds like he is extremely disrespectful, even beyond typical teenage stuff. Sorry to say, but he's gotten this way, because to some degree he's been allowed to. No different than the kid who tantrums at the checkout line when they see candy. And the parent gives them candy to shut up the kid and stop the tantrum in the store. What did you teach your kid? That their behavior worked in getting what they want. Your BF needs to learn from a neutral professional how to deal with this before it gets worse....the consequences to drug use and dumb decisions only get worse for you when you become an adult. 

What is it with these dads??? I just can't imagine what the F is going through their minds to allow this kind of nonsense? I seriously just don"t get it but it's somethng we hear time and time again on this site! It's CRAZY how common of a theme this is! I just can't fathom a dad not wanting his son (or any kid) to not be successful in life. Like, what in the actual F kind of backwards @ss thinking is that? My DH is a mentor, a role model, and a hard @ss with our son! I can't picture him throwin his hands in the air and letting him do whatever he wants. No freaking way. 

Like someone else said, you have a major boyfriend problem. Yes, his son is horrible, but disney daddy enables it so of course he's going to do as much as he can get away with. Your boyfriend is not going to change and he's not all of a sudden start coming down on his son. You're looking at a future of possibly bailing this kid out of jail in the near future, and I for one, would not want any part of that, nor would I want my daughters to be any part of that. At the very least, this kid will be a 30 year old still living at home and smoking weed, is that the future you want? I have a pretty decent stepson and he lived with us until he was 28, and even though he mostly kept to himself and didn't cause any trouble, it was still a pretty big intrusion to have an unrelated adult living with me as a married person. It was like a roommate I didn't ask for. But I really can't imagine  what it would have been like to have him living here if he was a disrespectful douchebag that I couldn't stand. You need to think about your daughters and if living with a kid like this is the best thing for them. Maybe you can move out and just date until the loser launches or inevitably gets a 10 year sentence. 

You're choosing to subject your kids to this. If there's been no change in two years, either do your duty as a parent and move out or let the bio dad have custody and stay. Your kids deserve better than this mess.

This would be a deal breaker situation for me. I am sorry to say... and if you read my normal responses I almost always root for the couple to make it through! You need to worry about what your are subjecting your kids to. Also, where is BM in all of this? Can he go live with her after the end of the school year? At least then you are only looking at another 2-3 months. 

Also keep in mind, this is the kind of man that will have a hand in raising your daughters. You will of course be the primary parent, but he is still a parent in your home. As your girls (dont know the ages) get older they are going to remember that BF let SS do XYZ, why I can't I??? Geeeezzz mom... You are so unfair. I am going to do it anyway because BF didn't care if SS did. <-- All teenagers are stupid. They can't help it. Their brains are working properly. But this is still the logic they get. Even the good ones. 

The stepparent is not going to be able to set limits on a 17-year-old if the parent has no issues with his behavior.  Put yourself in this kid's shoes - Dad thinks it's fine what I'm doing, Dad's GF is the problem here.  I don't know where his mother is, but either she's gone or very permissive herself.  Why would any kid listen to Dad's girlfriend over his own parents? Makes zero sense.  You aren't his parent or an authority just because you live with his father.

So you have to decide whether to stay or not.  Your BF isn't going to suddenly learn how to parent effectively and chances are, even if he did, the kid is not going to accept any parenting at this point.  So either your BF kicks him out at 18 (not going to happen), or he keeps bailing him out when the stakes for his behavior get higher - that is, legal charges (more likely to happen).

Glad you are here. Vent away. Realise also that we are problem-solvers! Venting is a great way to get solutions. I almost have 5 years in my situation.

It all seems to boil down to parenting, doent it? And you are not the parent, so the best thing in this situation is to start creating a possible exit strategy. The father doesnt seem to know what to do with his own kid. Things wont change and you will find yourself repeating the same old complaints! Your kids are going to be affected (how could they not be?).

Good luck, and keep reading.

Welcome to Step Talk.

and RUNNNNN!!!!!!!