its basically when bm brainwashes the kids against their father so that they start to believe all the lies she spews and start to hate their father. i think they can also do it by not letting the dads exercise visitation, keeping the kids away.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Not to pick nits but there are instances of Bio-Dad alienating the kids from Bio-Mom and instances where both parental parties are attempting to alienate the other.
Not nearly as frequent as alienation of the kids from Bio-Dad but PAS is not gender specific. IMHO.
ive just found, especially here, that its usually from BM. usually, and i mean usually, they are the ones to pull all the crap the custodial parents pull. i shouldve said CP and NCP i guess!
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
when we first split was doing alot of PAS.....it got pretty ugly. Then I realized, that he was doing it to get MY attention, even if it was negative, he wanted it. (like a toddler ) I know that I'm a great mom to my kids, and I know they see/ know it too. So I ignored the things he was trying to do, kept communicating with my kids, and showed them a good example. I did not bad mouth their father to them, and even went out of my way to give complements (when due, of course).....basicly killed 'em with kindness, and then it finally began to drop off, then stop all together. Now their is no PAS between us, thank god....it was hard, really hard some times. But like running a race, I focused on the finish line....passed by all the BS, and obsticals, and won! I'm not saying this works for every one, It did not ever work for the BM in my life, I just knew where his(ex-H) PAS was coming from, but I think in some cases it might help.??"~waiting on the world to change~"
Did anyone see the recent interview with Alec Baldwin and Diane Sawyer? He spoke out about what he assumes to be PAS in his life.
__________________________________________________________________
"All power is from within therefore under our control." - Robert Collier
If you follow this link you can watch the interview of Alec Baldwin by Diane Sawyer in two parts. It might last 15 minutes max. I would be curious to hear what you all think about his views.
of men who falsely accuse PAS when in fact the actual problem lies with them. In most jurisdictions PAS is not recognized because its so difficult to prove, and often there is PAS on both sides including relatives and extended relatives. Or PAS is falsely used like in this case. In Baldwins case his temper and lack of control was the major concern with visitation, and his life style. His outbursts were well documented, and his 13 year old daughter was tired of being the recipient of that, of course its easier to blame the mother then accept responsibility.
I still remember after Alec's last melt down, they were emailing a cartoon Dora who goes to answer the phone and its Alec Baldwin calling her a little pig and so on. The jokes went on and on, but I can only say I would only allow supervised visitation with a character like that. Thankfully the daughter is now old enough to decide on her own.
I think that what happened with him is an example of how PAS from a bitter ex! drives people crazy and makes them do stupid things. He was suicidal after that episode. Until you watch your DH suffer from this and feel it yourself, you don't know what its like.
Or maybe you do, what don't you tell us more about your own situation? or are you just 'troll'ing
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
So incredibly sad...my ex-H tried to do this with my son...fortunately he lives far away & doesn't see him much. My son is only 5 so there's little he could understand of what he was trying to say. One time he actually made him cry & my son yelled at him to not talk bad about his mommy & that finally woke him up that he was the one that was hurting our son, he was the one our son would end up hating...
It was, for me, like listing to BM's rants to her kids...in a mans voice. He kept saying "me" this and "me" that....it was all about how he feels. Scary"~waiting on the world to change~"
Who is the he you are refering to?
__________________________________________________________________
"All power is from within therefore under our control." - Robert Collier
When I read up on this, it explained so much about how my SD acted towards me and DH. PAS is emotional abuse of the child. Please read the following and let us know what you think of it.
I will tell you that most courts deny the existence of PAS. No one wants to think a parent is capable of such a thing but it is absolutely true.
I have read several books about PAS and how to combat it but in the end it seems to involve begging your own child to love you, which I am not willing to do. Maybe because I am the SM and see the child a little more impartially?
But here is more info, there are tons of sites on it. Many people spend fortunes on attorneys to combat this but to me the only one who can stop it is the parent that is doing it to their own kid.
I respectfully disagree with your view of Alec Baldwin. If he regularly made calls like that to his daughter I am sure the one you heard on the media would have been one of many. That message was leaked by the mother as a notch on her "I will ruin your life" belt.
He was at a time of complete dispair and he took his anger out on his daughter. He has publicly apologised for this many times. I think its sad what she has done to him and his relationship with his daughter is more than likely irrepairable. Things will never be the same for them.
I have called my kids little pigs before, perhaps not in quite that tone, but I also never had to share my moment of anger with the world. I wonder have you been mad at your children? If what you said to them was broadcast on the news, would it look worse than it was?
Alec B. had a long history of anger issues long before he met his ex wife.
Chel Bell you are right, classic abuser behavior, its all about him and if you go on the link of his interview he still blames everyone but himself. His ex wife has publicly said she would love for him to have a good relationship with the daughter, but he needs to get help.
Why do these dad basher comments keep coming from an 'anonymous' writer? Didn't we decide those were usually bitter BMs posing as a stepparent, on a clearly marked stepparent site? Thanks for the support, I am sure Alec B. is very upset you don't like him!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
I believe he recognises his anger and he has sought therapy. No matter what problems we face in life, we should always be allowed to have a nourishing relationship with our children. Men or women. PAS has been thrust into his life by a bitter ex and if he does have problems, this is not helping to fix them by turning his daughter against him. If you are having problems, does this mean you should have all ties with your children severed because you're having a hard time of life...I think not!!
PAS has nothing to do with HIS issues. You shouldn't degrade the father to the child no matter what the situation. If you are good parent you find other ways around it. Kids can't handle these huge adult issues. They are for the parents to deal with, not the kids.
Comments
parental alienation syndrome
its basically when bm brainwashes the kids against their father so that they start to believe all the lies she spews and start to hate their father. i think they can also do it by not letting the dads exercise visitation, keeping the kids away.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
PAS is not gender specific it can go both ways
Bella,
Not to pick nits but there are instances of Bio-Dad alienating the kids from Bio-Mom and instances where both parental parties are attempting to alienate the other.
Not nearly as frequent as alienation of the kids from Bio-Dad but PAS is not gender specific. IMHO.
Best regards,
oh no...absolutely!
ive just found, especially here, that its usually from BM. usually, and i mean usually, they are the ones to pull all the crap the custodial parents pull. i shouldve said CP and NCP i guess!
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Ohh!! Thanks! I never
Ohh!! Thanks! I never would've figured that one out LOL
Happy I could help.
Mellis,
All right, all right. So I am a master of the obvious.
Thanks for humoring me.
Best regards,
my ex-H
when we first split was doing alot of PAS.....it got pretty ugly. Then I realized, that he was doing it to get MY attention, even if it was negative, he wanted it. (like a toddler
) I know that I'm a great mom to my kids, and I know they see/ know it too. So I ignored the things he was trying to do, kept communicating with my kids, and showed them a good example. I did not bad mouth their father to them, and even went out of my way to give complements (when due, of course).....basicly killed 'em with kindness, and then it finally began to drop off, then stop all together. Now their is no PAS between us, thank god....it was hard, really hard some times. But like running a race, I focused on the finish line....passed by all the BS, and obsticals, and won! I'm not saying this works for every one, It did not ever work for the BM in my life, I just knew where his(ex-H) PAS was coming from, but I think in some cases it might help.??"~waiting on the world to change~"
PAS interview
Did anyone see the recent interview with Alec Baldwin and Diane Sawyer? He spoke out about what he assumes to be PAS in his life.
__________________________________________________________________
"All power is from within therefore under our control." - Robert Collier
Did not see that....
wow, that would be interesting to watch. It's about time some thing like this gets out on tv. "~waiting on the world to change~"
Alec Baldwin on PAS interview link
If you follow this link you can watch the interview of Alec Baldwin by Diane Sawyer in two parts. It might last 15 minutes max. I would be curious to hear what you all think about his views.
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=5832850&page=1
__________________________________________________________________
"All power is from within therefore under our control." - Robert Collier
Baldwin case is good example
of men who falsely accuse PAS when in fact the actual problem lies with them. In most jurisdictions PAS is not recognized because its so difficult to prove, and often there is PAS on both sides including relatives and extended relatives. Or PAS is falsely used like in this case. In Baldwins case his temper and lack of control was the major concern with visitation, and his life style. His outbursts were well documented, and his 13 year old daughter was tired of being the recipient of that, of course its easier to blame the mother then accept responsibility.
I still remember after Alec's last melt down, they were emailing a cartoon Dora who goes to answer the phone and its Alec Baldwin calling her a little pig and so on. The jokes went on and on, but I can only say I would only allow supervised visitation with a character like that. Thankfully the daughter is now old enough to decide on her own.
Actually
I think that what happened with him is an example of how PAS from a bitter ex! drives people crazy and makes them do stupid things. He was suicidal after that episode. Until you watch your DH suffer from this and feel it yourself, you don't know what its like.
Or maybe you do, what don't you tell us more about your own situation? or are you just 'troll'ing
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
So incredibly sad...my ex-H
So incredibly sad...my ex-H tried to do this with my son...fortunately he lives far away & doesn't see him much. My son is only 5 so there's little he could understand of what he was trying to say. One time he actually made him cry & my son yelled at him to not talk bad about his mommy & that finally woke him up that he was the one that was hurting our son, he was the one our son would end up hating...
Oh my GOD!!!! The phone call,
It was, for me, like listing to BM's rants to her kids...in a mans voice. He kept saying "me" this and "me" that....it was all about how he feels. Scary"~waiting on the world to change~"
He who?
Who is the he you are refering to?
__________________________________________________________________
"All power is from within therefore under our control." - Robert Collier
Alec Baldwin, sorry did not specify, my bad.
"~waiting on the world to change~"
It is a very serious issue, worth reading up on
When I read up on this, it explained so much about how my SD acted towards me and DH. PAS is emotional abuse of the child. Please read the following and let us know what you think of it.
I will tell you that most courts deny the existence of PAS. No one wants to think a parent is capable of such a thing but it is absolutely true.
I have read several books about PAS and how to combat it but in the end it seems to involve begging your own child to love you, which I am not willing to do. Maybe because I am the SM and see the child a little more impartially?
But here is more info, there are tons of sites on it. Many people spend fortunes on attorneys to combat this but to me the only one who can stop it is the parent that is doing it to their own kid.
http://www.parentalalienation.com/articles/index.html
http://www.hostile-aggressive-parenting.com/#
http://www.breakthroughparenting.com/PAS.htm
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
Working Mum
I respectfully disagree with your view of Alec Baldwin. If he regularly made calls like that to his daughter I am sure the one you heard on the media would have been one of many. That message was leaked by the mother as a notch on her "I will ruin your life" belt.
He was at a time of complete dispair and he took his anger out on his daughter. He has publicly apologised for this many times. I think its sad what she has done to him and his relationship with his daughter is more than likely irrepairable. Things will never be the same for them.
I have called my kids little pigs before, perhaps not in quite that tone, but I also never had to share my moment of anger with the world. I wonder have you been mad at your children? If what you said to them was broadcast on the news, would it look worse than it was?
Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*
In this situation
Alec B. had a long history of anger issues long before he met his ex wife.
Chel Bell you are right, classic abuser behavior, its all about him and if you go on the link of his interview he still blames everyone but himself. His ex wife has publicly said she would love for him to have a good relationship with the daughter, but he needs to get help.
interesting
Why do these dad basher comments keep coming from an 'anonymous' writer? Didn't we decide those were usually bitter BMs posing as a stepparent, on a clearly marked stepparent site? Thanks for the support, I am sure Alec B. is very upset you don't like him!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
And
I believe he recognises his anger and he has sought therapy. No matter what problems we face in life, we should always be allowed to have a nourishing relationship with our children. Men or women. PAS has been thrust into his life by a bitter ex and if he does have problems, this is not helping to fix them by turning his daughter against him. If you are having problems, does this mean you should have all ties with your children severed because you're having a hard time of life...I think not!!
PAS has nothing to do with HIS issues. You shouldn't degrade the father to the child no matter what the situation. If you are good parent you find other ways around it. Kids can't handle these huge adult issues. They are for the parents to deal with, not the kids.
Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*