That it what we had to go to here in our home cause BM thought she could call or text my DH anytime she wanted. The only time its not that way is if there is a bigger issue such as emergency or major trouble in school and if that happens the school calls us like they call her. It can be done, it will piss her off but it can be done. When I talked to my DH about it he thought I was crazy it would never work but it does. Now he loves it cause he doesn't have to hear or voice or lesson to her complain about anything. Good luck!

I've heard of people with 50/50 who only communicate via calendar.

Set up a shared google calendar and write everything on there.

Written communication is always better. It keeps down the drama and keeps people more honest.

I have 50/50 with my ex and almost 100% of our communication is email. It actually started that all communication went thru a 3rd party via email as there was a RO in place. Since then we have continued and it is wonderful.

The kids switch every two or three days so there is a lot coordinating sometimes and even then there have been very limited times a phone call was necessary.

The biggest benefit of it.....printed, records of every conversation we have. Very useful in court should the need arise. And it has for us.

I think it helped improve the relationship we have as ex's. Email allows you to think out and proofread your responses in a way you don't get with realtime conversations. There are seldom any emotions showing thru to muddy the waters. Much easier to keep a very business like interaction.

I highly recommend it!

DH has 50/50 custody.

He goes to email/no verbal communication only when she is being a brat. Reduces conflict to nothing. When she cycles back to human then the boundary softens.

Why doesn't he want email only? I'm just wondering because my husband doesn't like it either, only because he's old school. He still stops by people's houses rather then giving them a call. Technology is just foreign for him.

Hi Marla_823

I can't say that your DH is "wrong" altogether because I suppose every sitation is different. For example, it may be harder to do email only when skids are very young, or when they are older and involved in many extracurricular activities, sports, etc...

However, in general, it is NOT impossible to use email communication in a 50/50 situation, as we do so here as well. As a matter of fact, the benefits of it FAR OUTWEIGH any possible limitations. I agree with PrincessFiona above.

In the beginning, skids were SD9 and SS6. BM would literally call my BF for the stupidest reasons - all "in the name of the kids" of course (sarcasm). We have a 50/50 schedule that has the skids switching homes every 2-3 days also. BM used to feel the need to "communicate" by phone with my BF constantly, each phone call a different matter - instead of simply making ONE phone call to handle numerous matters at once. Finally, after this causing so much drama, so many arguments and tension between my BF and I, he finally saw what BM was doing, so he told her to only communicate with him via. email and it was ONLY to be about the skids. Seriously, they are DIVORCED and BM (as most of them do) still think they can act like they're still married to our BF/SO/DH!!

Fast forward about 6.5 years to now, and I cannot believe how much BETTER AND EASIER it is that we communicate with BM via. email. Also, the skids are older now (SD16 & SS13), so they have cell phones now - BM literally no longer has ANY REASON to call my BF directly on his cell phone (exception is a true emergency or a last-minute change that was unpreventable). If BM wants to know something about skids, she calls them directly. If skids want to sleep over their friend's house on BM's day, they call her directly. There is NO REASON for my BF to be the "middle man" any longer.

It improves the relationship between EVERYONE 100% because email is in writing (deterring the BM from stirring-up drama as she LOVES to do) and it takes the emotion out of it all. I'm a big believer in keeping ANY relationship with BM as BUSINESSLIKE as is possible!! As much as BM HATED this at first (I'm sure she blamed ME for my BF insisting on email, oh well...), there was absolutely NOTHING she could do about it. Think about it: you CANNOT FORCE someone to pick up the phone and call you (or return your calls) - there was NOTHING in their divorce decree that REQUIRED phone communication, so my BF switched to email - BM resisted at first, but eventually had no choice and email it is now!!

By the way, I personally don't agree with using text-messaging with the BM's, either. My BF NEVER, EVER, EVER texts BM, so she doesn't text him either. Texting, IMO, is way too "informal" of a mode of communicating with these crazy BM's. Don't even START it - you will REGRET it. The way I see it, is that I NEVER, EVER text a business client (that would be WAYYY unprofessional in my line of work, way too "personal") - and my BF agrees (thank God!!). My BF would NEVER text BM.

Now life isn't perfect, of course. There IS the OCCASIONAL time when BM or my BF have to call each other, to clarify something that needs an answer right away about skids (i.e. BM is at orthodontist with skid & dr. says she needs a $1600 pallet expander that isn't covered by DH's insurance & BM doesn't want ortho to do something that my BF won't agree to, especially since he has to pay almost 100% of all unreimbursed medical, etc...). BM will still call my BF OCCASIONALLY, but it is always only in that "rare" instance where there's either a last-minute change or question or something really important to discuss about skids.

By the way, just because BM CALLS him (nowadays), doesn't mean your BF/DH HAS TO ANSWER!!! He can simply let it go to voicemail - if it's urgent, he can call her right back. If it's not, then it can be responded to via. email and he can tell her to respond to him via. email as well. It works. Eventually, the BM will give up when she calls & calls....and he doesn't call back!! lol

At the end of the day with these crazy BM's, it's all about CONTROL - the CONTROL they still want (and think they still have) over their ex-husbands. It's almost NEVER actually "about the kids".

DH has 50/50 and our communication is through email. Even if they go through a patch where they are able to be civil in a phone conversation - or if it something that warrants and actual conversation - those are always followed up with an email to recap for documentation. This way, there is a record of everything should it need to ever be referenced. We have found the written records helpful even for non confrontational situations, such as, neither "mom" or "dad" can remember who had Xmas Eve last year - so we check the records. Phone calls are reserved for last minute things of importance - which is rare - or emergencies, which is also rare! It also helps that SD has her own cell phone so mom and dad can call her direct about certain topics and little things like "remember to bring your DSI". This is TREMENDOUSLY beneficial for ALL involved because the less the parents have to speak to each other the better, especially if something isn't agreed upon immediately.

I cannot recommend email communication enough. It has been a great relief for us.