Hi all. I have been reading the forum for awhile but decided to create an account today because I am at my wit's end. I would say I have several relationship issues aside from the skid but the skid situation seems to permeate everything else. I have been with my partner for 2.5 years, we are not married, and he has a 3 year old. The problems began immediately. He lied to me about the nature of his and BM's relationship, claiming they had barely been dating, she got pregnant, they tried to make it work, it didn't. I was wary of entering a relationship with someone who had an infant (obviously not ideal) and still lived with BM, and I even told him maybe the timing was just not right. He however said he was desperately in love with me, had no desire for BM, etc, and that he would be shortly moving out. That everything would be fine. The first six months of our relationship he had in fact been lying to both myself and BM (me about her and her about me). He still says they were never dating during this time but I doubt I have ever gotten the full story. After that, we broke up but he tried and tried to get me back. I said well I obviously can't be with you if you live with BM, so I guess that's that. He had stayed for so long "for the baby" but also as I know now, because things weren't fully over with BM. Yes, I was naive, but I fully trusted him. Don't know why but I did. So, after the revelation of the cheating and me saying the only way we would have a chance is if he didn't live there, he moved in with me. It was way too soon and unhealthy but it is what it is. At the time his child was not allowed around me and he would go to BM's house (we all live in the same city) EVERY DAY to watch the baby. This went on for months and months while I was paying all the bills at home and he was still paying BM half her rent plus cs. We fought a lot because of my insecurities about him and BM, his constant being around her, his refusal to stand up for me. Finally after almost a year and a half his child started coming to our place. I understood BM's feelings and anger at the time, but she has since made things harder by just being a bitch. I had and have ongoing issues with his and BM boundaries, nothing you all haven't read here. We have been trying to work on things this year but it seems to be getting worse and worse. I care for the child but I resent the implication that because HE has a kid, I am not allowed to put MYSELF first. And yes, this is a very young child so it's a little harder. But I get made out to be a monster because I am feel frustrated by being second. My bf claims that he had always put me first by leaving her in the first place, and I am like...that's not on me. And he now says that he was wrong in leaving his child at that time, which hurts me a lot because it's like he blames me for him leaving when he had to leave because of what he did. Before the cheating, I COMPLETELY trusted him. I knew why he was staying there and I honestly believed him when he said he slept on the couch and there was nothing between them. Anyways, we decided to take a mini break this past month and try to work things out. He has been staying at his moms. At the same time our lease was up and we were supposed to move back in together at the new place. I have been taking care of all the moving details- the movers, the dates, I found the apartment, paid the security deposit and first months rent, bought a new sofa, etc. He helped on the day of the move but then went back to his moms. I broke down all the boxes, moved everything in myself. It's tiring and hurtful because I feel taken advantage of. His basic defense for anything i complain about is "don't do it if you're just gonna complain". But things need to get done. Bills have to be paid. I just feel like I take care of all the details all the time. And then today, after another argument, he said he thinks we should take another month apart and try to go to therapy and work on things. Which is fine, sounds good to me. But when I asked about the bills then he was like well I won't be living there so...why should I have to pay towards the bills? And from my perspective, we are still "living together" or at least intend to and taking some time apart doesn't negate those facts. I told him I'm upset that he made this decision to not move in yet without talking to me first when I was depending on him being here and contributing. I am just so confused because he makes me feel like I am so wrong and selfish and sometimes even crazy. Oh yea, and this latest bout of arguing was based on him saying he needs things to change in regard to seeing his kid. He wants to FaceTime him whenever he wants, which I hate because then it's like BM is in my home, and she makes comments about the things in my home, and she talks to my bf more than the kid, and has made inappropriate remarks on FaceTime before. He also wants to be able to spend time with just his kid and BM because "skid asks me every single day I pick him up if we can hang out with mommy too". He thinks I just refuse to let go of our past and move on but am I wrong in that ANYONE would feel uncomfortable about that? Let alone with our history? And I don't want to be the evil stepmom but YOU ARE NOT TOGETHER. Sorry the kid is young and doesn't get it yet but I feel excluded and like the three of them have this thing I can't be a part of. My bf also swore and promised me he would never spend any more time than necessary with her nor be friendly, cordial only. So now he is going back on what he said then and is angry that that upsets me. He thinks that everyone has moved on (because BM is getting married and apparently her fiancé is just perfect and accepting and not jealous or insecure) and I should too. He will actually throw it in my face that NO ONE CARES ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED BUT YOU. And I'm like yes....because it happened to me. I KNOW I have to release my anger somehow but everything is a muddled mess and he makes me doubt my own convictions. Please help in any way you can, I know this is long and convoluted, so thank you for reading.