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Very unwilling party

MamaMiaD's picture

Submitted by MamaMiaD on Fri, 05/17/2013 - 7:43am

This is so hard, I didn't know when I got married that I would wind up with his 2 kids along with 4 of my own, and it wasn't discussed, and now they live in our home. I am so sad and this is so hard. I don't like it!! Just came here to vent, I feel like my kids are being pushed out of my home that I pay for.

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DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Fri, 05/17/2013 - 8:02am

I feel the same way.... of course I knew prior to marriage that DH had 2 kids. But stupid me never thought of the possibilty of either kid actually living with us... and now that's where I am. I have an ungreatful, manipulative 15 year old SD, who I can't stand, who has stolen from me in the past, who has called me names and disrespected me over and over again living in my house. Her mother is a worthless piece of crap who doesn't pay a fucking dime towards SDs existance so lucky me gets to go work at full time job so I can help provide for a kid that I can't stand.

I HATE every second of it and I can honestly say that if I had known that this was going to happen in my future I wouldn't have have married DH. It was NEVER mentioned as an option or possibility.. NEVER. Sometimes I feel like I am the one who got duped. DH keeps saying, just have to get her finished with school, just have 3 years til she's 18 blah blah blah. But the way I see things going? She will be one of those adult skids leeching off of us for years well past 18. And I have found that DH consistently SAYS one thing and then DOES another.

I feel like I'm stuck now.. we have BS3, we bought a new house 2 years ago etc etc. I also board horses, so it's not like I can just up and leave DH... it would take a lot of preperation and planning on my part as obviously I have people paying me/counting on me to be living there taking care of their horses. So basically SD moves in for the second time in a year (first time was an epic fail, but hey, let's do it again!) and I just have to bend over and take it up the ass.

anyway, sorry you are going through tough times. Maybe coming here and venting can help a tiny bit?

3familiesIn1's picture

Submitted by 3familiesIn1 on Fri, 05/17/2013 - 1:20pm

OMG: " She will be one of those adult skids leeching off of us for years well past 18. And I have found that DH consistently SAYS one thing and then DOES another."

You nailed my worst fear Daizy. SD13\SS7, a LONG way to 18 yet I don't think its going to matter one bit, DH thinks its perfectly NORMAL for kids to live at home until they marry and that marriage should be in their late 20s. His niece lives with his parents who have raised her, she is 24 with absolutely ZERO intentions of moving out and he thinks that is exactly how it should be. I am so scared.

My DH consistently SAYS what I want to hear then DOES usually nothing....

There are so many things I love love love about my DH, but his mindset on kids living at home forever, whatever BM wants BM gets and not following through on what I 'thought' we agreed on - make me very upset a lot of days.