Ever just feel that way?
I can say I care about my SS10, but half the time all he does is annoy me. He comes over and all he does is lay up on the couch and sulk in his phone. Does acknowledge anyone else in my home goes straight to couch, then phone. In the car for pick up, gets in say hi very low and straight on a phone. He looks like crap half the time wearing the same clothes almost two days in a row.
Today is DH's birthday. SS calls him to ask for something, as usual, never a "Hi, how are you", nothing! Always wants something. So DH goes do you know what today is? Given by listening SS has no idea. Therefore DH tells him. I was like so SS doesn't know your birthday? His response is "he's a kid he won't remember"! Lmfao I was like oh really? So that's the excuse you give him? Why is it you got excuses beyond excuse for your son lack ofs, his misbehaving and etc? Like he is never held accountable? Like maybe BM could have told him to do it, like you tell him to call or inform him of her birthday??? But I guess that's too much for y'all?!
I was like whatever- keep raising this stinky and lazy ass kid. Don't ever involve me with his nonsense.
They all just annoy me!
RANT OVER LOL
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I think we have the same SS,
I think we have the same SS, except I have two and they are both 14. They only call when they want something and they spend their entire weekends with us, either complaining that we don't do enough for them, that they are bored, fighting with one another, or watching loud YouTube videos on their phones.
Two years ago, DH said to both of them - "all I want for my birthday is for you to call me. My birthday is on Tuesday." I think he sent that text on a Saturday...did he get a call from either of them on Tuesday...nope. It blows my mind, I always knew when my parents' birthdays were and always wanted to do something nice for them, but not my SSs. In the five years I've known them, they have never gotten DH anything for Christmas, Father's Day, or his birthday. They have gotten MIL presents (usually something cheap that she doesn't want, but still, something), but never anything for DH. They also always have the nerve to complain about what we get them. It's never enough or they wanted something else or BM got them more than we did.
Sometimes, I think my eyes are going to roll right out of my head when they are around.
Omg! We do. Everything you
Omg! We do. Everything you described is exactly to the T on what happens here. Oh, I do roll my eyes. I don't care anymore. I got so tired of trying to appease SS! I don't care if he's bored. When he mentions it, I tell him he can clean and I'll find something for him. That's when he shuts the hell up and stays out my way! I tell his father he can go entertain him! DH gets mad when I say that, but it's true. He has so many toys, things we bought, and more and yet it's his phone or PS4 is all that's important. I stopped buying him gift or anything. I tell DH to do it. I'm done.
Seriously what’s up with that.
Seriously what is up with dads making every type of excuse for their kid? Like I get it there's guilt,trauma and all bunch of things. But can they just acknowledge when their kid is on the wrong? I have been a step kid as well and no one felt sorry for me or my sibilinos on anything, my step dad treated us just like his kids and my mother never made an excuse, so I just don't understand parents now.
They are entitled kids, who know that their dad will keep making an excuse for them and also they don't value him. They want what he can give them that's all, unfortunately your husband needs to put limits on that.
I ask myself the same thing
I ask myself the same thing all the time! Why? I am beyond done with the guilt of something that has been the past for more than 6 years. It's time for them to step the hell up and be a parent! Stop the excuses. Start making your child accountable. Stop the enabling and maybe your child will learn consequences. But, no matter how much we want that it will never happen.
It's good the gear that you were raised in well rounded home where both parents loved and treat all children equally! You are right, bunch of enablers. Bunch of parents who refuse to allow the other parent actually be a role model to their ratchet children. It's so sad, that my DH doesn't see the damage he's creating to SS. This child has zero social skills, he definitely doesn't respect DH. DH can tell him to do something (ANYTHING) SS ignores it like it's a joke. If it was my child I'd raise hell beaause I don't raise my child to not listen or disrespect my authority. I'm just thankful I am raising my child correctly.
I just disengaged. He sees it too. Because I don't treat SS like a spoiled rotten child like he does.
I think that these dads
I think that these dads constantly making excuses for EVERYTHING that their kid does has got to be one of the absolute worst things about being a step-mom. The excuses that my SO makes for SD9 are such a huge turn-off. Kissing her butt and begging for her attention like a desperate puppy are extremely unattractive, but he is at the most unattractive when he is making excuses for her poor behavior. Yuck!
Wow! I have to agree 100%.
Wow! I have to agree 100%. Now that you mention it that way. It truly is a turn off. It's a rather disgusting feeling when we witness such acts of stupidity. My DH treats SS10 like he's a 4 year old. If I could post pictures of all the shenanigans that takes place, you all would be laughing. Like right now, we are hanging out watching tv, I'm on the chaise lounges chair and he's laying across, but makes room so SS can cuddle with him. I'm like seriously??? He's 10!! Not 3 or 4. This child literally hangs all over DH and never lets him out his site. Follows him like a shadow. DH can get up to walk to the dining table which is a few feet away from us to grab his drink, and SS is up being him. He's worse than our dogs!
They setting them up for failure. Those are the same parents who if their child committed crimes are on tv saying there child is great kid and was on his way of turning his life around and belong to church and shit. Knowing damn well they raised a menace to society!
Yup! My SO treats SD9 like
Yup! My SO treats SD9 like she is in pre-school. She's as tall as me, curvy, and most people think she's twelve or thirteen, so him treating her like she's barely past toddlerhood is really gross and disturbing. He lets her get away with everything or he takes back punishments super fast because he "feels bad for her." Dads like him are 100% setting up their children for a disastrous life.
My DH does the very same
My DH does the very same thing, when it comes to punishments (or if that's what they call it). Like seriously? YOU FEEL BAD? How about putting your foot down and parent. Really show them that there are consequences to things. It helps kids realize more responsibility and learn from mistakes. If they don't learn what a punishment is or are held accountable how in the hell will they ever get by?!
That is why I am done. I don't bother. I let him figuring out, whether he does or doesn't, I'll wait till SS fucks up and see how he handles it. If he lets him get away with no problem. It's his spawn and he can deal with raising him for the rest of his life. But just know once he's an adult he is no longer living in this house. He needs to get his own place or just stay with his BM she can keep him. I refuse to have a grown man living in my home. I made that clear to DH. All the kid either go to college and work part time. Or if no college, the work full time and get a place of their own!
my daughter is 16 and has plans to go off to college. She hold a part time job now! She doesn't bother with SS, wants no part of him. She sees how much of a lazy, spoiled and enabled child he is. DH gets upset because he sees that my DD doesn't want to have any relationship with SS. I told him she is older, she has a life of her own, she's not his babysitter, she is not his maid either, she simply will not coddle SS like you do. Not one person needs to treat your son like you and BM do, I won't. I'll treat him just as he should be treated equally in this house as I treat my daughter, but we already established that it's to "rough" for you or him to handle. DH makes it out like I'm a drill Sargent but reality is he is a capable BOY, there are rules and chores. If he feels SS is exempt- great! The DH you are responsible for all of SS chores. Clean his room, fold his clothes and put them away, clean the toilet in his bathroom and make him food. DH your his bitch now, not me or my DD.
It's an ss 10 club
It must be! Mine goes as far as to acknowledge everyone for 3 mins, basically an account of everything he's done and been bought by bm, then escapes to his room and PlayStation all day. I would address this but cant be bothered if dh won't so I took a weekend job instead
You took the words right out
You took the words right out of my mouth! Most of the time I can walk away from Ss10's idiotic baby talk, "look at me, I'm soooo cute I don't have to do anything round here like follow SM's rules about being thoughtful and kind!" But 100% of the time I'd love to smash his little grinning face in. What is it with these boys and their BFs??!! What kind of man is SD10 going to be?! I truly hope I don't have him hanging around in later years, watching SO grovel around him like he does now