Back in court, again, so that we could schedule to be back in court, AGAIN. Nothing ever gets resolved because BM NEVER agrees to anything. Every. single. issue. has to go to fu*@($# court, because she refuses to communicate, literally refuses to communicate, with DH and work things out like a grown ass woman. I have exes. I have children with my exes. When we split, it wasn't easy. Things were awkward and raw and uncomfortable for awhile - but we still managed to communicate with one another, to work together, to make sure our children were able to benefit from having a relationship with both of their parents. No court needed. No therapists, no greedy douchebag attorneys, no glowering ex in-laws. I didn't need my mother to hold my hand, and escort me to the pick up/drop off point every single time the ex and I had to exchange the children. If my ex tried to talk to me during exchanges, to share or obtain information about our child, I didn't just stand there like a deaf mute & pretend I didn't hear him. I didn't try to convince my children that they were mine, and mine alone, or that I love them more than their father. I didn't bad mouth their father in front of them. In short, we were grown ups. We acknowledged that we had a responsibility to our children to be civil and decent to one another, regardless of what had transpired between us prior to our break up. I think that is why this is making me so crazy. I just want tell her to stop pretending to be such a victim, put on her big girl panties, and ACTUALLY put her child's needs first for a change. I don't consider taking him to Disneyland twice before he's barely 5, buying him a pony, any toy he wants anytime, and feeding him a steady diet of fast food 'acting in his best interest'. It's really just a competition for the child's affection, and because she gets a substantial chunk of my DH's money, lives with her mother, and doesn't work, she has plenty of time & $ to devote to spoiling this child. It's sick, and it's frustrating. She's a psychologically fragile narcissist, with an unnatural attachment to this child. I mean, maybe I'm wrong here, but calling your 5 year old son 'lover' and letting him lick your face, while laughing and vaguely protesting is a little bit peculiar. AAAAGGHHHH!!! She drives me crazy. I know that I need to make an effort to ignore her crap, and just live my life. I know that I allow her to steal my joy, because I spend too much time simmering over her shenanigans. I know this. I'm working on it, but I've just never dealt with a 'grown' woman who seemed so hell bent on hurting her ex that she could not see what she is ultimately doing to her child. And of course, there's my DH, whom I love dearly and feel extremely protective of. I hate having to watch him keep going through this. I hate watching him get hurt, doubt himself as a parent, and wonder why he's even trying to hang on. I hate that I have to bite my tongue, which I don't do very well, and stand there while he gets his hopes stomped on time and time again. I hate that we've finally gotten to the point where we can't afford an attorney anymore, and yet we have to be subjected to the tacky rube of an attorney her mother pays for. I hate her attorney's dirty, unkempt mustache and bad suits & the way he acts like he's doing some kind of really important work by keeping this child away from his father. We have been doing this for several years now. We still have my SS for only ONE night a week. ONE. No reason for it. No justification. DH and I are hard working, decent people. He's a state employee and I'm employed with our local school district. We are not monsters, meth heads, child abusers….we're just regular people trying to live our lives, with a reasonable expectation of being allowed to actively love and nurture this child, my SS. The worst part of this for me is the realization that she brings out the worst in me, and I can barely, barely restrain myself in her presence. As hard as I try, I still find myself walking by her in the court house and telling her she should be ashamed, or calling her a horrible person. I know that's not the right way to handle myself, and I know it's not helping, but it's the only time that I get to share my absolute loathing of her without SS being present. It makes ME ashamed that she pushes my buttons so well. I am at my wit's end, and sometimes, as much as I love my DH, I wonder if I can really stick this out for the long haul and do him any good.