NEED ADVICE PLEASE URGENT!
Ok i haven't been on this in a while but a big problem came up. So two days ago BF sends me a message saying that hes getting tired of me and that we are a boring couple. I told him we can talk about it and fix things but he said hes not sure if he wants to fix out problems. I took a long drive that night to clear my head and when I came home 5 min after he texted me he was already asleep. Yesterday when he came back home from school I asked him if we could talk. He said not right now im busy doing homework. I said ok i know you have to do that but we need to talk. He kept ignoring me so I told him im leaving early to work so I dont bother him. He texted me to come back home and I did go back. We started talking and he said that hes annoyed by me and he feels like we are going in different directions. Pretty much every question I asked him he would say i dont know. I told him I have to go to work I was already late and I told him we both need to make chages and make an effort to make this work. As I was walking away he pulled my arm and gave me a passionate kiss. I guess this was his way of saying well keep trying because now were starting to talk again. I just dont know what to do to make things excited again during the week hes completely busy and on Sat the only day we have off together he plans things without telling me anything. I told him that we should do something this saturday and he tells me we need to go for his son. That bummed me out a bit but tonight im telling him i actually have something fun planned for next sat and hes mine for the whole day. Now hopefully it stays that way. Does anyone have any advice on what can I do to get thing restarted again and to make things more interesting in our relationship?
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Comments
Wait 'til
Wait 'til Spring....seriously, I think we all have a case of winter blahs. It's not your fault, does he have any suggestions?
Yea I thought of that too Its
Yea I thought of that too Its too cold and were poor n no he doesn't have any its a pain in the ass to try to get his opinion on something...
We're not poor...far too cold
We're not poor...far too cold for sure, but we both are just really down in spirits lately. Bored, working too hard, wish we were teenagers again, lol. Seems to happen every year about this time.
Maybe he is not the right
Maybe he is not the right person for you.
I had a boyfriend who never wanted to do anything. He kept saying I just wanted someone with more money to go do things with. I sort of bought into that until we both got great new jobs. He just didn't want to do anything period. It was not the money. There's so much you can do for free.
Hmm. I agree that hes trying
Hmm. I agree that hes trying to act like you need to do something about it. But wheres his thoughts? I dont know is a cop out reallly. Now, with that said relationships take work. Its not easy. Both partners get lazy over time & stop courting each other. Perhaps engage him in an discussion and ask him what he used to enjoy doing together. Get him talking & try to do some listening to clues on what exactly he means. Try to get him to give you 5 good ideas of what you Both can do for fun. Tell him that you get bored too. Tell him that you need him to make as much effort as you!!!! Dont let him act like its all you- cause its not!!!!
Hope things get back on track again soon!! Read about seasonal affective disorder. Maybe he just feels cooped up cause of the weather. I do. I can tell you that!! I feel like a hermit lately. Lol. But. Im working on that!! Tanning helps by the way!!!! Helps release that happy feeling in your body effectively making you feel better!!!
I don't think you should bear
I don't think you should bear the responsibility for his boredom. I don't want to be blunt, or come across wrong, but he is controlling the situation, and in turn you. Call him tomorrow and say "you know, your right, lets take a break or move in another direction altogether". Life is too short to have to be responsible for someone else's interests.
My first thought was he is
My first thought was he is interested in someone else....I would re-consider the relationship.
1. You are not responsible or
1. You are not responsible or at fault for HIM being bored
2. Sounds like your BF is pretty immature
3. My DH and I would probably seem like we are "boring" too. But we love each other immensely and are happy to have NO DRAMA after having to deal with a psycho BM for 13+ years. We can stay at home with each other saving money for our bigger dreams (than going to a bar or whatever) and be perfectly happy.
4. Could be the winter blahs or it could just be his way of trying to get out of the relationship. Either way, do you want to be with someone who can't take ownership if THEIR role in how their relationship is? He seems to be blaming it all on you.