Ugh, too good to be true!
I knew it was too good to be true! BM hasn't "made waves" since a couple weeks before Thanksgiving, and the last sit down talk we all had actually went really well and involved some *gasp* laughing! BUT all good things must come to an end.
I'm at work, and FDH sent me an IM letting me know that MooCow (BM) wanted to change Tuesdays. Background: BM has sole custody, CO has visitation of EOW. But we have a written agreement of more days, less CS. So our days are every Tuesday and Friday on top of EOW. Anyways, we gave MooCow a heads up that FDH's work schedule for this month had changed and he works until 8:30pm on Tuesdays and that I would be picking her up at 7pm when I get off.
She sends an email saying this needs to change or we'll just get rid of the day all together. Her 1st reason was that she didn't want random people picking her up all the time (seriously 1 day a week, for 1 month....4 days total...seriously) We told her well it's not random people, it's people in our family who don't ever get to see Scooty (SD5). Her 2nd reason was that FDH wouldn't get to see Scooty b/c she'd be in bed by the time he got home. Um, correct me if i'm wrong but he wouldn't see her on that day if they were still a 'nuclear' family!!
I know she does this b/c she's mad at herself for losing him (shouldn't have been a MooCow!), and that she can't handle the whole 'losing control' aspect. But damn! I am soooo tired of the games!! "Nag nag nag, causing waves...to...oh, everything is all peachy keen"
UGH! Moo.
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Comments
She isn't willing to change
She isn't willing to change it to a different night of the week?
I have to agree if I was in her shoes it would be kind of silly to have SD go to BFs house and never even see him that day.
I think the childs time is best spent with Mom or Dad---no StepF or SM or GF.
The driving thing is dumb, I agree with you there.
I agree with BM3SM1 - her
I agree with BM3SM1 - her time should be spent with Dad and if he has to work, shouldn't they switch days?? I see the BM point of view on this one. Sorry.
FDH is off F,S, Su this week
FDH is off F,S, Su this week which are all "Scooty days". He works Mon-Th...there is no other day to switch with.
1) Scooty WANTS to go see her MiMi and Oompa (pet names for FDH's parents) and then spend time with me. I know that's rare on this site, but yes a stepdaughter and stepmother who actually want to spend time together! (and before anyone jumps my case b/c we're not legally married yet, we live in OK and we fall under common law marriage, so yes in my state I am her stepmother by law)
2) FDH's family basically broke down over Christmas to us, upset b/c Scooty is 5 years old and they don't know her. They got to see her 5 times this last year, we live in the same town, that's ridiculous. Why is BM's family allowed to watch her/see her when BM is working/dating/going to gym but FDH's family can't watch her for 2 flippin hours 1 day a week for only 1 month?
3) Scooty wants to see relatives, FDH wants her to see relatives, her paternal grandparents want to see her, and even though I know SP's don't always count in some people's eyes...I want her to see them. The only person who has a problem with this is BM. If it's on FDH's scheduled time isn't it his say?? Should we require BM stop going to the gym after work b/c she's not seeing Scooty? Why the double standards?
"Live well, Love much, Laugh often."
in response to 1) I want to
in response to
1) I want to see my SD too, that is not hard to believe. No one really cares if you call yourself SM or not BTW
2)It sucks that BM does not call to see if you guys would like to have SD on her days....I think she should. But it is her day so it is her choice---the comment SD/SSs are best off with mom or dad still apply here IMO.
3)It is FHs time so it is up to him, I never said give up that day. I figured that it may be an option to switch days---why not have EVERYONE see her. But that seems to not be an option. So keep the day and tell BM to bad it is a scheduled day and whatever you decide to do with her (visit family) is FH biz nt hers.
The double standard would be what you suggest of forcing BM to drop SD with you during her time (since she is not wth BM), and not forcing FH to skip his day becuz he isn't with the child.