well. Life is pretty crap right now. Lots and lots of bad language contained within...
Last night OH had the gall to tell me that "BM will always be his priority because she is raising his kids"
So wait, let me get this straight...
skids are his no 1 priority because doncha know they are his special little babies, spawn of his fucking that bitch, and nothing and no-one will ever hold a candle to them.
THEN apparently it's BM - at no. 2 because she's raising his kids, and is a single mum and needs all the support she can get....
Then his job, because that supports us all.... (hey you fuckwit I work too!)
And somewhere down the line is me.
I swear to God, get me through the next two months and then I am kicking him out.
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.....he said
:jawdrop: :sick: .....he said what??????......Luchay, i am sooooo pissed right now for you that i have no words....none........
If he feels that way why the
If he feels that way why the fuck did he divorce her?
LOL - said that too. Told him
LOL - said that too.
Told him to go back to her then and stop fucking me about.
(the issue at hand is WE had romantic date night plans for NYE - BM wants him to take the kids because she suddenly has to work, I said no, we have plans, he said yes! They can come with, they'd love it!)
His attempt at explanation?
I love you, I want to spend my life with you, but if BM needs something like me taking them extra time so she can WORK to earn money to raise my KIDS of course that comes first!
I said we take them extra and change the schedule ALL THE TIME on BM's whim. Because she wants to take them here, or has a date then, or just wants to piss me about (the night of my dd's dance concert she insisted we had to have them all day that day - her W/E and then wasn't home at the appointed drop off time, making us late and stressed for the concert - SO fucking mad!)
So, most of the time yes, we take them no drama.
Sometimes it HAS to be no, we can't because WE had plans and SOMETIMES they have to matter more.
He said "but she has to work!!"
I said "you work, I work, we arrange it so that when our kids are here we either aren't working or we arrange suitable alternatives (someone to look after them) BM needs to do the same. I started my business because THIS business enables me to set my own hours and work during school time and is flexible, when you have kids you get work that fits in with your parenting responsibilities, you don't just take whatever shifts you want and expect other people to always jump in and take over at short notice.
Sometimes it has to be no.
I think by the end of it he understood. As he does KNOW that most of the time it's yes. There have only been three times in 2 years I have said no. Of course we did have them anyway....
yup. I was literally
yup. I was literally spitting but had no words at the time - like "did you REALLY just say that to me? Tell me I misunderstood!
But no.
BM is his priority over me, because she is raising the golden children.
I said "So, she's the Golden Uterus then? She gave you your special snowflakes and now we all have to bow down to her every wish and whim?"
i would have kicked him
i would have kicked him straight in the balls.......
Because she would have to pay
Because she would have to pay a sitter and that's less money for her to rain down gifts and entitlements on the golden children.
HIS kids got xmas presents from us (not a huge $ amount but still I made sure they had gifts to open, cool gifts, things they loved) From her - SD got a kindle, a new camera, LOTS of clothes, 2 bottles designer perfume, ipad accessories, the list is endless. SS got an ipad and various other exe shit.
MY kids - so far I have some stuff on layby for them that I am working to pay off. Because they aren't back til Jan 14th.
And then he goes on about how tough she has it with FAR less money than us....
I pointed out that from him she gets $250 a week, her govt benefits total about $700 a week, AND she works part time. So all up she is on about as much as him a week.... that stopped him in his tracks.
I can't believe you actually
I can't believe you actually spoke to him after that, you're a more forgiving person then I am. He would have found himself, the golden child & al his shit of the front lawn.
{{{{Hugs}}}}
See? I'm so pissed I may chop
See? I'm so pissed I may chop of MY FDH's nuts in his sleep. I cannot believe you ladies put up with this kind of emotional abuse. I'd be in jail for murder. These are the men that you will have to put up with til death do you part. The SKIDS? They're going to grow up and get their own SO's. Anytime there's any kind of disagreement or change in plans it is always discussed with me first. Because the above is how my SO feels. We have the SKID for some few years. ME and Him? We are forever til death.... Who would he rather piss off?
luchay, are you sure we're
luchay, are you sure we're not with the same man ?? I got that the other day...BM does NOT work, and changes the custody schedule just about every week because she "has plans" or because one of her fat, ugly kids from marriage #1 "has plans". SO always gives in and says it's because it's "his sons Mother" or "his sons sisters" (they are half sister and much older) Over Christmas he said doing what she wanted was a priority because it's all for "his son". Needless to say we did NOT spend Christmas together. I think my final words were "if you feel that way you should have stayed married to her".
Hmph. XH#2 had me so far down
Hmph. XH#2 had me so far down the list, I was after the dead dog. And that was MY dog that he was smitten with. So it probably didn't bother him so much when I up and left.
So when you do kick him in
So when you do kick him in the balls, please use stilettos. Swift kick to bring him to his knees and then use the hill to step on it. Makes a satisfying squish noise.
Well, yeah, didn't you know
Well, yeah, didn't you know when you split up you are an abusive prick if you ever leave your child with a babysitter? Because you're not allowed to ever have a date on nye again. :sick:
That's what I said!! In
That's what I said!!
In "normal" families when the adults want adult time they get a babysitter, it's what WE do here when he and I want a date night - only ever when it's just my dd's though, we NEVER schedule adult time (I don't mean sex we still do that LOL) when skids are here, it's always him and them, or everyone as a family going out.
When it's JUST my kids here we get a babysitter (usually dd21) and the two of us GO OUT together! Radical.
I said to him if your boss rang and said he wanted you to work Saturday and you were supposed to have the kids but really HAD to work for whatever reason you would ASK her first and if she said no (which she would be entitled to do) you would make OTHER arrangements yes? Why?
He said because on MY time they are MY responsibility - BINGO WE HAVE A WINNER
(the convo continued this morning BTW)
I said so when they are on HER time they are her responsibility, and yes, it she needs to ask and we CAN we do, but sometimes you NEED to realise that that date with ME was important enough to say no to her!
He agreed, apologized again and said he would make it up to me....
Does anyone remember the long weekend fiasco a few months back because I sure as heck do....
We will see.
LOL - yes so is mine and as
LOL - yes so is mine and as told him that!
Wow, I cannot believe he said
Wow, I cannot believe he said that out loud.
BM tried to use DH as a babysitter once years ago. She learned real quick that that was not going to fly. She thought it would since it would mean time with his precious daughter that she birthed for him but ha, ha, ha...no.
That was her important
That was her important appointment? A pedicure?
Ugh, I feel for you! I cannot
Ugh, I feel for you! I cannot believe that he felt entitled to tell you this! Even if he thinks it, why would he ever hurt you by giving voice to it. I get the whole kids and career priority thing from mine too. At least with the ex he does not go quite as far, but says he will "always need to worry about her as her life impacts his kids life." Why do they marry us? Good heavens! You sure you want to kiss him on NYE?
LMAO - no I'm sick as a dog
LMAO - no I'm sick as a dog right now, I just want to kiss him to
a. piss them off
b. make him sick and suffer too....
just kidding.
WE have talked about it a LOT since the weekend/over the weekend, and I do understand what he means, that perhaps his choice of wording sucked but I get the intent.
I have thrown it at him a few times now though, because WOW. bad choice of words! But I do understand and I said that, that if she wants him to have them extra time she asks and we have the right to say yes or no, having been a single parent I KNOW it's hard, I know sometimes you just need a night off, or get called in etc. But there has to be a time to say no as well.
And he has been making it up to me left right and centre since Sunday. He did all sorts of jobs around the house on Sunday that had been neglected for ages, he has been very caring and loving and solicitous (sp?) of me. So, we will see.
He is on his last chance though and I think he knows it.
It sucks when you find out
It sucks when you find out that you married an imbecile. At least you have found out BEFORE you marry this imbecile.