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Update - thanks ladies.

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Mon, 02/09/2015 - 7:23pm

Ok, so I have added a few comments to my last blog but just wanted to make sure you all saw this,

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.

I AM that sad, sorry (and yes even STUPID - sueu2 IS right - I know a lot of you don't like her delivery but she MOSTLY has things dead on - and sometimes that hard truth is exactly what is needed) person that is so hellbent on pleasing everyone, doing the right thing, not rocking the boat and making trouble for anyone that I NEEDED to know that retracting that statement was ok.

I know I have a LOT of work to do (on myself)

Just wanted you all to know that I did appreciate you helping me see that I am not a bad person for doing this.

Nuts, I know, but at this point its who I am.

Comments

AllySkoo's picture

Submitted by AllySkoo on Mon, 02/09/2015 - 8:24pm

Totally agree with Dtzy and Sue! While, yes, many women put up with WAY too much in the name of "love" - that does NOT mean there's anything wrong with YOU. Working on yourself is fine, as long as it's because you want to work towards being a happier and more fulfilled person, not because some asshole abuser told you that you "deserved" this. Aw hell, I'm just glad you're getting out. Smile

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Mon, 02/09/2015 - 8:26pm

no no no. NOT because of HIM - well indirectly LOL - because I need to be strong enough and love ME enough and not want to please everyone else and fix everything else enough to put up with shit. Its about making ME stronger, ME better so I don't fall into the same pattern with anyone else.

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Mon, 02/09/2015 - 8:25pm

Smile its ok, I did see it!

I am not being too hard on myself though - if I don't recognise those things in ME that make me accept this shit then I will continue to accept it. Does that make sense.

I can see (sometimes) that I am being ridiculous (the wanting to go and find the persons name so I didn't upset them) and STOP it LOL but other times I still need validation that I'm not doing a bad thing (like retracting the second statement) I will work on this, I need to learn to listen to my inner voice, trust my judgement and put MY needs forward without feeling bad, selfish, crazy etc.

Its a work in progress but its ok.