See last blog for backstory.

Ok, so I didn't say anything to OH about the stealing issue until Friday night once he got home WITH the skids (no opp for him to prepare her or himself in advance)

When they came in I took him aside - I told him I loved him and I know he loves me, but there was a problem, and we could either talk about it and handle it like loving partners or it could end up in the usual defensive screaming match, that I opted for the first but really the outcome was down to him. He was wary but agreed. I asked where the notepad they used had come from/gone. He said it was SD's. I said how I had bought three of them, special from the clearance table of the local variety shop (SD lives in a different town and this shop is in the town where we live) And that DD11 and I still had ours, but that DD8 had left hers unopened the day before on the table upstairs.

We went up to talk to SD13 together. She claimed it was hers, he asked where it had come from and explained why, she claimed it was hers, he asked where it came from she won it at school, he asked what for, she claimed maths (she is 2 grades behind in maths so haha), he asked when she claimed the Tuesday before. He asked so if I call BM she will know all about this, she claimed that she never told BM - that she had left it in her schoolbag and bought it here. He asked how it got here then she said it was in her bag. I pointed out that on Weds BM had picked them up from school and bought them to our town OH met them later and she didn't bring her bag. He remembered that - he kept asking her not to lie, and telling her that it was too coincidental etc, and that how strange for her math teacher to have been in the same shop and bought the exact missing notepad etc. She maintained she wasn't lying. Anyway, he reminded her that she never bought her bag, oh it was in her pocket with her phone. Barefaced ballsy liar she is!! Kept it up for about 10 minutes.

He eventually asked me if he could speak to her alone, I went downstairs and left them to it.

When he came down he said she had admitted stealing it, and was very sorry, and that she would be writing dd8 a letter of apology and returning the notepad. He cried. I felt so bad for him but OMG I was so pleased (happy is the wrong word but I am sure you all get it!)

That he stood up and parented her, didn't do the usual "I can't call her a liar" at the first hurdle.

He had a hard situation, and he dealt with it and I am so proud of him

That is all. Baby steps in some ways, but pretty huge I think for him to have had to pull his head out and accept his dd did this (finally!)