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T-minus 2 hours before SS invades my home...

LRP75's picture

So I talked to H about SS replacing my soap dispenser.

The long and the short of it is that H doesn't feel that SS should have to replace my soap dispenser. A "heated" discussion thus ensured regarding the real "lesson" H is teaching his son. Blah, blah, blah...

H's big concern? That if he pursues this with SS, that SS will know that I was the instigator and will hate me even more. I said, "WTF cares if SS hates me? I could care less..."

I tried to convey the point that H is the one who is willing to give SS a "Free Pass" with his behavior, but that I am in no way obligated to do the same. That if the situation had been handled properly to begin with, then perhaps I wouldn't be so hell bent on having SS replace my soap dispenser. Then, H tried to tell me that SS doesn't have the $15 to replace it and how could I expect it.

My H just doesn't get it.

Why do I have to explain morality to him? My H is such an honest guy in all other aspects of his life. I have ZERO clue about what drives his total inability to parent his son. I. do. not. get. it.

Anywho....

SS will be here no later than 5:30. To tally it all up, I'm looking at about 48hrs of him. How come in writing it doesn't appear like such a long time, but in real life it feels like an eternity?

48hrs.... :O

Comments

Willow2010's picture

You need to take the next two hours and practice disengagement.
I understand why you are upset, but honestly, this is not a hill I would die on. Let DH pay for whatever the little turd breaks. But make him buy a MUCH better one. He will get tired of running to the store ALL the time to pick up something that SS broke.

I would also tell DH that he needs to watch his kid much better than he has been doing since he is breaking all of your stuff. If he does not care that the kid is an idiot, why would you?

And yes…I have been RIGHT where you are. Disengagement saved my relationship. It is wonderful!

You have a long way to go since he is only 7. Mine is 19 and I still try to disengage as much as I can.

LRP75's picture

He's 10 - almost 11.

I care if the kid breaks my things and isn't held accountable for it. I care because I care about the way that I, me personally, am treated by others. Disengaging from crap that has nothing to do with me is fine. Been there, done that. I refuse to disengage from the expectation that I will be treated with respect and common courtesy - especially in my own home.

Pinki3663's picture

I am in the same boat but I have already called my SO and asked if he could pretty please with a freaking cherry on top keep them away from me at least until Sunday. I just don't have the energy right now to answer a bajillion questions. He seemed a little put off by it but ya know what this is my weekend from work too and I need to de-stress just as much as the next person aaaand I didn't choose to have children.

LRP75's picture

Exactly.

H must have had a talk with SS about everything, because SS did come up to offer me a very nice apology. Which I accepted. I also thanked SS for accepting responsibility. SS asked me if there is anything he can do to make things better (awesome), I informed him that it will take $15 to replace the soap dispenser. He sucked it up and nodded. I heard him crying to H in the other room though, because he doesn't have the money. I expected that. However, the next step of the lesson is for the kid to explain to ME that he doesn't have the money and to ask ME if there is anything else he can do to make it up to me.

This is a life lesson folks. Out there in the real world, when we break something that belongs to someone else, we don't get to call the shots about how to make it right by that person. Rather, we have to do what the other person wants. THIS is what I was trying to explain to H.

On another good note: the Wii is being officially moved into SS's room. H isn't very happy at the moment, but I am. Smile

LRP75's picture

OMG this kid just does not STFU. He has been making noises and talking non-stop since he walked out of his bedroom. Beeping noises. Robot noises. Be-bop noises. Talking, chatter, talking, chatter, talking, chatter... he is even talking with his mouth full of food and barely stopping while he SLURPS (yes slurping noises too) his milk and chewing with him mouth open making lip-smacking noises as he eats.

Holy crap this kid annoys me.

Clearly, I need to leave the house today. I cannot spend the day around this kid, he irritates me that much.

LRP75's picture

He just freaking SNEEZED all out in the open, mouth not covered, snot and spit spraying everywhere. All over the f*cking wall and fridge!!! And he's LAUGHING about it!!!

I think I'm going to throw up....