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Is x 'making up illnesses...for daughter to have?

lovin-life's picture

Well it was x's Wed evening with the kids. He can't pick her up in time for practice...so I shut supper off & drive her...he's there by the time I get there. Can't he just leave work on time?!!! aarrrgggg....

She comes home saying that her chest was sore at practice and she couldn't do the drills....and that she thinks she has...and I quote...." 'leukemia' no ..that's not it..'anemia'...no that's not it...it's something that's serious though"....unquote.

So she calls her father...so he can tell her what illness she has.....he wants to speak to me and according to him..she has had 'pleurisy' for the last 2 months. WTF?? She is very, very ill. And I should take her into a walk-in clinic or something right away....

So I'm thinking.....
1) If he believes her to be that ill....why didn't he take her to a walk-in clinic or emergency?? Or at least call me to express his concerns....?? It's BS if you ask me....
2) she was laughing, singing and dancing all afternoon and she was fine
3) so I asked him if she was sick when he had her for Christmas..."well she said her chest was sore...once" but she acted fine..
4) so I asked him if she was sick during her away tournament..."well..no"
5) how can she be deathly ill for 2 months...and not complain to hubby or I about it..

Was he implying that I'm negligent or something???

..now she may have the flu..she's sore all over.
..and her foot is bothering her too
..she has been complaining of a sore back for a while

He thinks she's seriously ill yet he wouldn't even take her to see a doctor or bother to pick up the telephone to let me know there was a problem...

...be it not for her not remembering what horrible disease he told her she had...

Anyway....she got up & ready for school this morning like theres nothing wrong with her...so I don't know what's really going on. I'm getting mixed messages from both daughter & x ...their actions are not backing up the words. Is it drama on her part? Or more silly games from him? Or she is really ill? Or a touch of all the above?

I'll make an appointment....and let the doc decide.. Smile

Comments

Enuffsenuff's picture

It seems to me if she were that sick everyone-everyone--would have noticed. Maybe it is a cry for some attention on her part--or something that is just really nothing. I would just take her to Doc, tell him everything and let him check her out.

If it is just a cry for attention etc maybe all the tests will put a stop to further drama on her part. I don't know about her but I hate having to have x-rays, blood work, etc. Just my opinoin.

Alisha

Anne 8102's picture

...when my step-brother was in high school, he started having pain in his leg, which everyone thought was just a pulled muscle from soccer or something. He'd be "fine" to go party with his friends, but would limp around and sometimes even miss school. Finally, my step-dad and his ex-wife took my step-brother to the doctor and had him thoroughly checked out. As it turned out, it was cancer... Hodgkin's lymphoma. He went through chemo, experimental radiation therapy, multiple surgeries to remove the tumor and a hip replacement, not to mention months of detox because the pain meds were so addictive. Anyway, he's fine now and a ten-plus year survivor. Moral of the story is that it's almost always nothing and it's probably nothing in this case, but getting checked out can't hurt. I think you're right, it's probably all of the above and getting her checked out is the way to go. Then you know that whatever it is, you've done your job!

~ Anne ~

lovin-life's picture

That's good to know.....(yes & no)

She's very athetic..needs a new mattress for her bed..and may have complications with her broken leg from the summer...so I'm thinking those things are most likely related....

But also in my mind is.....
She had a ureter reflux problem when she was younger which resulted in constant bladder infections and ultimately scarring on one kidney and a smaller than normal other kidney. We've had no problems for years....
But she's pretty tough and may just suck it up most of the time and not complain about on-going-low grade discomfort....whether lungs, chest, foot, kidney, etc....anything.

(She tried desperatly to NOT limp for her final leg check-up so she could get the go ahead for sports....she denied any ankle swelling and the doctor took one look and laughed at her..she couldn't mask that!)

I have to rule all of these things out first...as something that may be contributing to her complaints..

But I think that what got me...was all x's drama..and telling her that's she's seriously ill..without talking to a doctor or calling me about his concerns. You don't 'panic' a child by telling them they have this horrible disease, that you can die from (he told her that too)........and by your own actions..don't take it seriously yourself?!

Thanks for your input gals... Smile

OldTimer's picture

How did I miss this post?!?! LOL.

This is just another story pointing out the same as Anne...

My DH went on for 1 1/2 yrs with appendicitis. (Kid you not!)

Apparently, he was getting regular cycles of the classic flu system's, and passed it off for the flu. During that same time, he was in real serious, focused fitness training, so he always had some aches and pains. He passed that all off too. Off and on, off and on, he kept getting this 'cold', or 'flu', 'pulled muscle in his abdomin' but too damn stubborn to go to the doctor about it too.

So, finally, the pain in his stomach, which wasn't centralized like in a normal typical appendicitis, was all over his stomach region and not excruciatingly either, but he finally made an appointment for the doctor when one day the pain actually did become unbearable.

Unfortunately, his doctor wasn't available, so he saw the residential smuck that sees all the over fills, and he just told him he had an ulcer, gave him something that would have killed him we found out by the surgeon. DH was smart enough to think, you know I think I'll see my doctor, which had an appointment for the next day.

So, the next day, he goes in to see his normal doctor, and by this time the pain had pretty much mellowed out to it's usual state and he didn't have any of the normal symptoms of appendicitis. But his doctor throughly looked him over, decided to have him get a xray or MRI, whatever it was, sends him home, tells him that he will call him when he gets the results. Sure enough, an hour later, the nurse from the dr's office calls, tells him he has to head to ER immediately, he has appendicitis.

So, after he notifies me at work, we make arrangements for SS, we head to ER, we wait for ever. He finally gets a room, but they made me wait in the waiting room until finally an hour later, he asks one of the nurses... hey my wife is in the waiting room, can someone get her? (Because they were supposedly sending someone out to get me as soon as he had a room... that didn't happen apparently.)

Finally, someone comes gets me, and I find out that he's getting ready for surgery in about an hour. But then, an trauma unit comes in with two individuals hurt in a motorcycle accident. The man had his foot amputated and some other serious wounds. His surgery alone was going to take awhile, and all the surgery rooms were 'booked' up at the moment. And there was a female involved, had some of her fingers amputated or something, so she too would need surgery, so it was going to be awhile.

They push DH's surgery back, which was okay by us- we're not going to argue! LOL I mean, the man's been dealing with this for months, but we didn't really realize that just yet. So, they are getting full in the ER and could use our room, but all the other rooms are full too, but their Post Op Room was completely empty and it's, of course, right next to the Surgery room. So they decide to wheel DH to this room, and let me stay with him, even though, I'm not suppose to be there, but they didn't have any place for us to go, and at one point they were going to leave us in the HALLWAY... but the doctor, said... NO, put them in Post Op, they'll be fine. I guess there was quite a scheduling error and they were swamped.

So finally, like 9 hrs later, he FINALLY gets to surgery. It's 1am in the morning, I'm exhausted, the hospital staff was really nice to me, made me very comfortable, gave me tons of pillows, blankets and DH heads to surgery, I head to the waiting room. The doctor said that the surgery will last approximately an hour. Pretty standard procedure. We're all happy, DH was joking about the whole ordeal, the nurses are pretty impressed with his threshold of pain. No big deal.

An hour goes by, then two hours, then two 1/2 hours... I'm starting to worry... finally the doctor comes out in his scrubs. He just silently sits down, sighs, looking at the floor. I'm REALLY worried. He then looks up at me and says... "So, 'pause' how long has your husband had this? Has he ever complained about having any pain before?"

"Well, he never complains about pain, ever. I don't know, he doesn't complain much about anything. He thought he was sick for about a month, but when the cold didn't go away, he decided to call his doctor." Of course the look on my face was pure worry and he finally told me he was okay, everything went well, but it was not a typical case.

Apparently, his appendix was soo infected that it doubled it's size and tripled in length, wound and fused itself around his colon and intestines. He had to be walking around with this leaking on and off for over a year, maybe even a year and a half! So, what should have been a two inch incision became a six inch incision. Dr. was very worried, because he couldn't find it at first either and was afraid that maybe this wasn't appendicitis, maybe it was something more serious, there was sooo much scar tissue. He also said that he was lucky to be alive. The nurses, and even the anesthesiologist told us that it's a good thing that the doctor who preformed the surgery did it, because he was their best surgeon on the roster for the hospital.

So, because he played tough guy, his symptoms weren't normal, and he has a very high tolerance for pain, he almost died. So it just goes to show you that you can't take anything for granted. If you have insurance, and you first make all the normal health assessments, temperature, color, all those things etc, and someone still keeps complaining, just take them to the doctor and let the experts tell them what is or isn't wrong. Better safe than sorry.

Plus, if you are casual about it, sit back and let the doctors handle, it let them know that she wanted to see the doctor, they will note it. If it keeps happening over and over, they will realize there might be a problem, not physically, but psychologically- if warranted. And address the issue.