SS pushed DS
Okay, so another update following Summer Blues.
Today SS12 was in the living room with DS5 while DH and I were outside (backyard is right outside the living room and the french doors were open) visiting with family. All of the sudden we hear THUD! and DS crying. I rush in and DS is on the floor screaming and holding his head.
He had a HUGE knot in the back of his head.
Frantically getting ice etc Dh asked SS what happen. "Oh he fell and hit his head on the glass table.
Once he calmed down enough to be able to tell us what happened in the middle of sobs he said SS PUSHED him. Which I believe because the Knot is in the back of his head not the front.
When DH confronts SS he said that DS was climbing on him and he was tired of it so he pushed him off and he accidentally fell into the table.
Okay, I GET that accidents happen. BUT SS is 6+ years older than DS. And over double his height and weight. He could have easily picked him up and set him aside to come tell us that DS was bothering him. Or even called from the living room to us and we would've come in. But instead he pushed him so hard from the couch that he fell backwards to the opposite side of the room onto a coffee table in front of another couch and DS hit his head causing a huge bruise.
Thank God it's just a bump on the head but he could've been hurt VERY badly.
The table could've broken, he could've hit it a different way, etc.
Needless to say I AM ANGRY.
What'd DH do? Grounded him from playing with DS the rest of the day and gave him a "talking to."
There wasn't any sort of punishment really. I can't believe it.
I told DH that SS and BS are under no circumstances allowed to be alone together for the rest of his visit. I do not trust him. And it is not the first time that DS has been hurt around SS when were looking.
And how does DH react? He's mad at ME! WHAT?!
He was mad dogging me saying that I've" been pissy all day" with no reason and is now giving me the cold shoulder.
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Comments
Take a deep breath and
Take a deep breath and consider this. 12 yr old boys are not adults and far from it. If he had called out and said "DS5 won't leave me alone!" would you have rushed in and told DS5 to stop it immediately or there would be consequences he wouldn't like? Or would you have called out "DS5, leave SS12 alone!"? Honeslty, what would you have done?
He probably told DS5 to stop messing around and leave him alone, DS5 kept climbing on him and annoying him. And so SS12 did what any boy does and pushed him away. OK so SS is bigger and heavier however he doesn't know the extent of his strength. And DS really will have learned not to annoy SS again.
I have a 10 yr old grand daughter and a 5 yr old grandson. Mr5 is perpetually pounding on and annoying his sister. But because she is older and supposed to know better nothing much is done. Until this grandma saw him walk past and sucker punch her. (She has Crohns and gets an extremely inflamed digestive system). I walked over and flicked his ear with my fingers. And boy did he cry! Waa waa waa! My daughter came in the room and asked what happened. I explained Mr5 once again walked past his sister who was minding her own business and sucker punched her. And I flicked his ear in return. She just looked at Mr5 and said "See, you hurt someone and someone else will hurt you. I told you this would happen."
So I know it could have been worse but it wasn't. And maybe DS5 will stop annoying his brother in future. And frankly banning a 12 yr old from his games is pretty tough in 12 yr old-land.
And remember, 12 yr old boys are not adults and will not behave accordingly. They will retaliate. This is what they do especially with other boysAs your annoying 5 yr old found out. I bet he won't annoy his brother for some time.
Thank you. Yes, I need to
Thank you. Yes, I need to breathe. And honestly had SS called out I don't know what we would've done. It's just that the thought of what happened and how it could've been worse upset me SO MUCH. And the fact that SS hasn't shown any sort of remorse over what happened.
Every day there are things
Every day there are things that 'could' have been worse. The NSA say if we knew everything they knew we wouldn't leave our homes.
Talk to SS. Tell him you got the message and in future MR5 will not be getting away with annoying him. Tell him you understand he is older and it isn't fair when older kids have to put up with little kids annoying or hitting them. Ask him if he is sorry he hurt DS. I bet he says "Yeah..." And remember pre teens go into defense-mode rather than being all adult and apologizing.
And sit down with Mr5 and tell him that he is to stop annoying his older brother. He has to learn no means no.
You can never be more than an
You can never be more than an arm's length away from DS5 while SS is around. I had to do this with DS for probably four years, from four until eight, when the big one went away to college and the other one essentially stopped coming for visitation. You can't control the step, but you can control keeping a constant vigilant eye on your child and stopping any interactions before they get out of hand.
Also, a hit that hard is probably have seen by a doctor. I'd want to rule out a concussion or possible brain bleed.
Yes. That is what I plan on
Yes. That is what I plan on doing. Also I am taking him tomorrow morning to see his doctor just to make sure everything is okay
"You are teaching your 5yo to
"You are teaching your 5yo to be a rapist."
You have posted a lot of stupid things but this has to be the worse. Are you sure your an adult and not a 12yr old?
I think what you are
I think what you are forgetting is that this is a VENTING website. I know it can be hard to remember because we trolls, people that aren't stepparents and people that only post OT topics, but this woman can here because she was upset that her kid got hurt. Accusing her of turning him into a rapist is ridiculous.
And where did she say she would not have stopped him?
In no way did I say I
In no way did I say I wouldn't have made him stop. I said I don't know how i would've handled it. i.e.: checking in and calling DS out to me or coming in to the living room. Of course I would have made him stop.
This happened to us before
This happened to us before except when SSthen4 pushed bs5 he gashed his head open on the couch and we ended up in the emergency room. DH saw blood and freaked out. He was more angry about it than I was. SS was told "if you can't control yourself when you're playing the game then you need a break" (because honestly what's next? Throwing the controller at the tv bc he's losing? Hell no!) That broke SS's heart more than the talking to. We brought him to the ER with us so he could SEE how serious it was that he hurt his brother. And, honestly, we were honest with him and told him we were angry at him for what he did. We weren't mean to him but told him we didn't want to make small talk about minecraft right then because we were angry. I don't know if it was the week off games, the talking to, the ER visit or just is giving all our attention to BS at the ER that made SS decide not to do it again but he hasn't hurt him again that I know of.
I also posted about it on this board and I took their advice to never leave BS unattended with him unless another grown up is there. I constantly give SS gentle reminders he is not a grown up and he can't pick up BS on his own, boss bs around or get on to him like a parent would. I tell him it's my job and I will take care of it, he just has to tell me when he's being bothered.
pffft.... if my parents had
pffft.... if my parents had to punish us for more then a day we would've been punished for life times... or grounded even now..
my brother is 3 years older then me, he irritated the crap out of me once and I penned a knife in his leg over a short distance.... circus was just in town believe it or not and knife throwing was huge....
My brother got punished for bugging me cause my parents could hear me screaming stop it he did not... I got punished for not killing him, my aim was off..... sorry for throwing a knife at him.... then we both sat in our rooms, and sneaked to one another to plot revenge against our parents.... younger brother split on us and we threatened to flush his head in the toilet with turds if we get a hold of him... but guess what little brother got punished for telling on us....
these things happens, you will have to teach BS to listen and respect his brothers boundaries and SS have to understand how dangerous this could've been
Mum??? why did you not say
Mum???
why did you not say before you and Dad have marital problems... but I'm confused with you calling us step kids
Gson12 did the same thing to
Gson12 did the same thing to Gson5. Gson5 had a gash on his face and had to go to ER. No one actually saw what happened as the parents were in a different room but it isn't just a skids problem, it happens with bios also. It wasn't a malicious attack, it was an accident that both boys could have prevented.
Does this mean YGson can never be alone with OGson? That is impossible as Gson14 now, gets Gson5, now 7 off of the school bus.
They told Gson5 that he needs to stop bothering his brother and go to another room and play. They told Gson12 that he needs to be more careful and to come to them when the little one is bugging him.
Do they still fight and push each other around. Yes, constantly.