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ANYONE ELSE HAVE FAMILY MEMBERS WHO SUDDENLY DEVELOPED FRIENDSHIP WITH BM AND OTHERS THAT THEY PREVIOUSLY COULD NOT STAND?

LONGTIME SM's picture

H's SIL is a very jealous individual. No one can have anything bigger or better than her. I'm sure you all know the type. Every time I turn around she is bragging about something she or one of her family members do or have, etc. I have always tried to ignore this just to get along with her for family unity. Well, right now, I alone am doing much better than her family. SIL has not worked in over 30 years but seems obsessed with what I have slaved to accomplish in that same time frame. While I am now enjoying the benefits of my hard work her future is less certain. OF course she neglects to consider that that was by her and her Husband's choice. To blame me or to be jealous of me is ridiculous! I could tell some stories but what is the point - she is what she is. (One funny recent example though was that :jawdrop: I did catch one of her family members checking out the bottom of my newest dishes at Christmas - can you believe???) :jawdrop:

I even understand that she has recently gone so far as to complain about the fact that my family gets the same benefits from the family business that that she and her family have enjoyed for years - namely insurance. She even had the nerve to complain to one of our friends that I should be paying for the insurance costs for my family myself. I suppose in her warped mind only she and her family are entitled to insurance that my H helps pay for. WTH???? :jawdrop: She is also the tpe that wants to pretend to be a martyr. For example she will B**CH about her H's ex repeatedly but then go out of her way to invite her to spend a week at her house ( I'm sure to show it off)when the ex came to town. Of course after she left all SIL did was complain about the ex's stay......

Interestingly, for years she has disliked my H's exwife. Has had nothing to do with her. But all of a sudden she has befriended her on Facebook last year. She has also within the last two years befriended my SD34 - who she has called an insincere little XXXXXXX that you can not trust. I can't repeat what she has said about BM for the past 29 years - which is why I find this curious. She has also gone out of her way to entertain my H's adult children during the holidays despite the fact that she said she could not stand SS 35 for how horrible he was to her H.

Equally funny is the fact that adult skids can't stand her! I can not count the times that SD has complained about SILs better than anyone else attitude and snobbery. SD 34 has also complained about SILs daughter. She has always been jealous of SILs daughter even as a child and she tried to beat her up when they were young adults. SD 34 has always been friends with SILs SD 40 and they are both convinced that SIL's daughter gets more than SD40 so rampant jealousy and hatred there. SD34 has stated that SIls daughter was just the same as SIL so there was no love lost there but you wouldn't know it now as they are all acting like they are long lost loves!!!

SS35 has also hated SIL and her husband and has had almost as many adult inappropriate temper tantrums with them as he has had with H. SS 35 claims that he is angry with anyone that said anything ugly about H's mother - yet he is now playing nice with SIL who I know he overheard making many derogatory comments about her!!!! More hypocrisy from the KING of hypocrisy himself! SS 35 also had the audacity to asked SIL's future son-in-law why he was going to marry SILs daughter - trying to get between the two, another example of his manipulation attempts.

Yet, all of a sudden because of what must be excessive jealousy on her part against me and/or H - SIL has overlooked all of these past transgressions from BM and H's adult skids and decided to befriend them. Neither H nor I have ever done anything close to what Skids have done to SIL, her H or her Daughter - yet she suddenly needs to become besties with them in what appears to be an attempt to get back at us.

For what? I am not guite sure other than she seems resentful about us doing better than her. Oh, she is also jealous that H has forged a best friend relationship with someone they knew longer than us. To that I just have to say GROW UP WHY DONT YOU!

I still have to invite her to some functions for appearances but I DONT TELL HER ANYTHING so she has nothing to pass on but her own issues such as what pattern of everyday china I use. Wink None of this will end up mattering to skids as I either purchased this myself and/or H is leaving what little he owns in the household etc, etc, to me in his will....so ....

Can't wait until SILs skids find out what they are not getting in her and BIls will!!!!! I think that will probably stop the love affair......What hypocrites!

As I type this I have come to the conclusion that really this bunch of hyprocrites and warped personaliites deserve each other. I predict that all of this will implode in their faces as my H's adult kids are none to stable as is and BM is definitely unstable - all it will take is just one misword or misstep.......

Just wondering what others think though about this situation? Is this uncommon or have other people's family members suddenly attempted a BFF relationship with the ex and skids to extract some sort of revenge against you and or your H for no real reason????

Comments

LizzieA's picture

LSM, this is exactly what led me to ST a couple of years ago. After DH and I got married, SIL1 turned on us. She had been our buddy and had encouraged DH through the divorce. Couldn't stand BM you know! Neither could his other 2 sisters. Suddenly long-divorced SIL1 and BM were friends, ganging up against DH and I, esp. me. Example, I wrote SS a note once about his behavior to my DH (he had greatly let him down and I let him know that since it involved me too--us getting a house that would include him). Next thing I know I am slammed by SIL1 about it. "She's more important to them than me, I'm just DH's wife, she's blood," yada yada. None of her business. She got the other two sisters so riled up that one turned her back in public on me the first time she saw me after our marriage (3 days later). We eloped. And at Christmas they ignored me while hugging my husband. So we left.

SIL1 spent two days after our wedding calling cousins, uncles, aunts, friends to tell them how DH was going down the tubes with me. Yeah right. She even called BM to see if she was "hurt" by our marriage since we got married the day after her birthday. Then she emailed us that BM was hurt. Who cares? The b divorced DH and treated him like crap. Do you believe SIL did THAT?

Fortunately we avoided family events (BM there front and center of course) and moved soon after. Several years later after DH cut them off they are all back to normal. I don't really care, I avoid them and I am distant but cordial when I do see them. SIL1 finally has her life together, has a real BF and a new job so of course she feels generous enough to be nice to us now. Barf.

It's about control and JEALOUSY. As a normal person you will have trouble wrapping your head around it, like maybe you did something. Yeah, EXIST.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Yup! This is the reason we (DH and I) have had zero contact with his parents and sister for the past five years. Once both SSs were PASed out, MIL and FIL suddenly became BFFs with BM, who they absolutely could. Not. Stand before. They've been on big family vacations at least once a year, and the ILs have been to our area to vist BM and the SSs (ILs live out of state and BM is about 20 minutes from us) when they could never be bothered to visit before. They always insisted that we come to them. We mostly avoid social media, but every now and then we poke around on MIL or BM's Fakebook page to keep track of what they're up to. By their posts and photos, you'd think they've always been closer than close. This is the BM who alienated their grandchildren from their son, who destroyed that relationship despite all the ways we tried to fight it. They're condoning it, and they obviously prefer to keep up this relationship with their grandchildren and EX-DIL rather than have one with their son. There's a lot more that's wrong with this family, and DH wants no part in it anymore. BM wasn't satisfied cutting DH out of her sons' lives, she wanted his own family to cut him off too. Their loss.