Sleeping Dogs Lie
If you have a husband like mine that likes to throw your past in your face; this is a great little indie film by Bobcat Goldthwait. It's about an engaged couple who confess their most disgusting (sexual) secret to each other. Their secrets were equally gross, but her fiancé brings up her secret everyday and belittles her about it.
If you're new to a relationship use this advice: Be sure the person you're telling your past secrets to won't use them to hurt you in the future, and think really hard about being with someone who does this.
I'm sure I'm not the only one, but I REGRET the day I ever shared ANY of my past (mostly sexual) with my husband. He has a past I would consider equal to mine, but somehow mine is worse and brought into conversations to 'win' a fight.
I'm talking about stuff that happened 15+ years ago, and mind you he and I have only been together for 4 years. I NEVER bring up stories he told me from his past...it's irrelevant to me, as mine should be for him. Not to mention these are stories or regrets you shared with your supposed 'best friend.'
Why did you marry someone whose past was so disgusting to you that you have to shame them for it every chance you get? Stupid man....
Edited to add - my stories are consenting adult things. NOT child molestation or anything illegal.
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Because I was clearly too
Because I was clearly too vague - it has nothing to do with illegal acts or molestation or child abuse. I'm talking about consenting adult stuff...
I think I am the asshole in
I think I am the asshole in our marriage as I usually don't miss the opportunity to ask DH WTF he was thinking when he hooked up with BMs.....
LOL. I'm kind of the same. If
LOL. I'm kind of the same. If DH mentions something stupid He did in his past, I ask him if it was in 2007. This was a bad year for him.....it's when he met BM and when SD was conceived, among a few other things.
Slut shaming - haha I like
Slut shaming - haha I like that! Funny how he likes sluts tho...
^^^AMEN
^^^AMEN
this is always a double
this is always a double standard. it's a male thing of pride to go out and conquer. but in his mind he wants the one he counts on most to be 'pure' and his alone.
that's my opinion anyway...
^ same here >>> And mine was
^ same here >>> And mine was nothing illegal, but is against some's moral values.
He's done things that are equally against some's moral values. I never talk about it. It's a non-issue to me b/c it was way before my time and had to do with him and Sasquatch.
Like someone said above it was in the 'get to know ya phase,' and I just thought that all the air should be clear before you make a marital decision.
I've had time to think about his bullshit and really it's a way to boost himself above me when he feels he losing. Sad but true, he will lose more than the next fight if he ever does this again
I totally forgot about that
I totally forgot about that movie, thanks for reminding me. I'm gong to make my husband watch it. He doesn't do that to me, he does it to himself! He constantly brings up his own past when he is feeling depressed.
Have you asked your husband to watch the film?
He would NEVER get that I was
He would NEVER get that I was trying to make him see how stupid he is.
In fact he'd probably side with the guy...
This is so ironic, but one of
This is so ironic, but one of the things from my past which my DH throws in my face actually has to do with Bobcat Goldthwaite! Back in the 90's, he MC'd an awards show I attended. Afterwards, we drunkenly made out. Now, I'm not proud of it, but it's one of those things you admit to your friends when you're talking about celebrity encounters. I just laugh about it now, but DH uses it as ammunition. I've started replying "At least I didn't sleep with BM" pretty much every time he tries to use my past against me. Because she's gross.
You are fucking kidding
You are fucking kidding me!!!? ^^^^^^^^^^^^ That's awesome
I'm a huge fan of his movies (the ones he wrote and produced)
He's a bit of a weirdo but there is no shame in that he's pretty cool - I think.
Haha, yep. I think he's
Haha, yep. I think he's pretty funny, too. I'm not ashamed really. I was young & drunk, doing what young, drunk folks do. Just happened to be with someone famous.
I am def going to check out this movie. Thanks for the recommendation. Can't wait to see what DH has to say...
*lol* That is awesome!!!
SO and BM were high school
SO and BM were high school sweethearts and he lost his virginity to her (gross!) then after they split, we met a year later and he had not dated so I was the only other person he had been with. I got married young and divorced young so I "sowed my oats too" LOL after I was divorced. I made dumb choices but I was young and dumb. After we had been dating a while SO asked me about my sexual past and told me his. I said you didn't have to tell me that, it's your business. My past is my business. I know I am STD free and other than that I'd prefer not to discuss it. I just don't think I want someone I love looking at me and thinking about the X number of men I've been with. And I didn't want to hear his either! I'm not embarrassed about my past, I was over 18, consenting adult, and it is what it is, can't change it.
And it's a dick move to say let's confess everything and put it on the table and then the other one throw it in your face.
Like I said I regret telling
Like I said I regret telling him anything and have learned my lesson for the future with him or anyone who acts like this...seriously I wish I had seen this movie and learned from it BEFORE I met DH.
Double standard here too. DH
Double standard here too. DH continues to be upset about a guy I dated before I even knew DH. Yeah, he was a player, and yeah, I was stupid, and yeah, I got hurt. But we split up. THEN I started dating DH. And I occasionally still catch hell for it. YET, DH has had several online emotional affairs while married to me. But OH that's different. (He's seeing a therapist--he preferred that option to divorce but I'm still not so sure some days.)